The Slanch Report

The Everett Silvertips are a junior hockey team up in Canada, and for those of you fools who weren’t following their recent 6 game road trip and just read the box scores, all you see is that they finished the trip with 8 out of a possible 12 points. Not too shabby. But much like the Sacramento Rivercats over the summer, the road success has been fueled by the power of the new mustaches the team has grown. Mustaches like this one living on the upper lip of forward Kyle Beach:

Sassy! ““Absolutely [the winning streak was due to] the mustache,” Beach said, “We couldn’t have done it without them. It kept our upper lip warm when we were out there in the cold, so definitely the points came from the mustaches.”

The impetus for the ‘staches came from the captains, who required everyone to grow one during the trip. Of course, being a junior hockey team, not everyone has the ability to grow a handsome ‘stache, so there were some ugly ones out there on the ice. “Some guys did good, some guys did not very good, but everyone tried to grow it, that’s the whole thing,” defenseman Taylor Ellington said. “It was a team-bonding experience. It brought guys closer together, as weird as it seems that something that small could do that.” To make sure that their mustaches had that extra pop out on the ice, several of the players used Just For Men. Way to go Keith Hernandez, your advertising has worked!

Now that the trip is over, some of the players intend to keep their ‘staches, and of course, they are doing it for the right reasons. “Oh, it’s good,” a smirking Beach answered when asked to evaluate his own mustache. “Girls love it. That’s really all that matters.”

For more pictures of the Silvertips’ ‘staches, check out the gallery here.