The Slanch Report

Every year on the 4th of July the Slanch Report takes a look back at our very first blog entry, one that changed the entire landscape of the world as we unraveled the many many hidden messages within Roland Emmerich’s masterpiece, Independence Day. Join us once more and let’s hope we can learn.

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Despite being panned by critics, audiences flocked to see Roland Emmerich’s newest opus, 10,000 BC, and I think I know why.

In 1996, Emmerich directed one of the finest action movies of all-time, Independence Day. More than just a movie, this film was a prognosticator of the future.

If only we had been listening.

Three different, very clear messages were placed in this movie. The first, seen here, is taken from the moment when Jeff Goldblum’s character explains to the President the idea of “line-of-sight” and how satellites work.

Notice the drawing that Goldblum does, look familiar? Maybe that’s because it looks awfully congruent to THIS!

Eerily similar no?
Now a random image in a movie is one thing, merely coincidence, but only moments later, after convincing the President that the time to leave is now, Goldblum and Pullman exit with others onboard Marine One. As they take off, Goldblum pulls out his handy mid-90’s Mac Powerbook and looks at the countdown timer…

Now its starting to get a little bit more real, you’re starting to feel that tingle up your spine…

Let’s not forget what these “aliens” do in this movie. With a carefully orchestrated attack, the aliens destroy the Capitol Records building, the Empire State Building and the White House instantly and simultaneously.

It is only when all of the world joins together, putting aside its squabbles, putting aside religious and cultural differences to fight a common enemy that there is success. Goldblum and Will Smith ride deep into space and into the alien mothership armed with a nuclear bomb. They set it off and it causes the protective shields to come down off the ships floating around Earth. Earth responds with attacks, Randy Quaid saves the day, flies his F-15 into the most vulnerable part of the alien ship and destroys it almost instantly. But it doesn’t just blow up, Roland Emmerich, that mad German throws one last message out there for those who know how to hear (see) it.

Who saves the world from aliens?

Of course! How could America (and the rest of the dirty world) defeat aliens? Because of Jesus (or Burning Man…)! It only makes sense, just ask the Mormons.

So what conclusions can we take from these messages?

1. The Masons are involved in nefarious things, don’t believe me? Look here and here.
2. Roland Emmerich was able to predict exactly the date that a building would be destroyed by people alien to America.
3. If the President had listened in time, disaster could have been, if not completely avoided at least mitigated.
4. Jeff Goldblum always knows the right answers.
5. America can only be saved from aliens by Jesus
6. The answer to the immigration issue is Jesus

So, these images, none of which have been doctored or photoshopped in any manner prove conclusively that Independence Day warned us, in advance that the Masons were going to be involved in something that would destroy a building. Not only that, but the movie tells us the exact date. The movie showed us the dangers in having a president not listen to those who know. But did President Bush listen? When Jeff Goldblum arrives out of nowhere to warn his President, that president listens, and many–well…some–lives are saved. Ultimately though, the whole world is saved, because one man was able to convince the most powerful, and because the powerful were willing to listen. We didn’t understand the message that Emmerich was presenting us in 1996. But it is not too late now!

The Day After Tomorrow showed us the effects that global warming will have upon us, and particularly New York City, are we heeding the message?

Independence Day warns us about the Masons, warns us about 9/11 and warns us continually about the dangers of aliens to America. These aliens expose their plan to Bill Pullman who realizes that “they’re like locusts. They travel from planet to planet, their whole civilization. After they’ve consumed every natural resource they move on. And we’re next.” Sounds awfully familiar to the refrains of alien workers draining resources from the government and stealing those awesome avocado picking jobs that everyone wants so badly.

In this election season there is no doubt that not only should you see 10,000 BC, but if you care about America and the world, that you need to see this film. Take your kids, your friends, your parents, anyone whom you want to live.

This might be the most important film in the history of the world.

You’ve heard of Cinéma Verité…If only our leaders will listen to the modern day Nostradamus, Roland Emmerich.