I Have GOT to Become Rich and Famous

Because being a famous highly well-paid athlete isn’t good enough, for those athletes in attendance at the ESPY’s in Los Angeles, here is a list of some of the items they received in the gift tents beforehand.

  • Undefeated and EA Sports: The two companies teamed up for the most practical and most gaudy giveaways. Everybody’s first stop was for their custom military-style duffel bag ($225 est), which was used for carrying all the other goodies. They also gave 30 VIPs a personalized PlayStation 3 or PSP, which was laser-engraved while the recipient waited in a lounge serving Patron.
  • iHome: The electronics maker handed out a variety of products, including the iH29 speaker case, iConnect Media Keyboard and wireless laser mouse ($179.99), and laptop cooling pads.
  • Simmons Jewelry: Yup, there’s nothing Russell Simmons doesn’t make. Several of his jewelry lines were on display, primarily made of stainless steel. There was one watch with an MSRP higher than most new cars. VIPs were given items worth up to a few hundred dollars.
  • NameDrop.com: A new website hoping to be Facebook for the glitterati, they’ll promote the pros and charge regular subscribers an introductory $2.99 per month to read their content. For the celebs who signed up this weekend, they handed out a free Flip Cam.
  • Muze Clothing: Specializing in t-shirts printed with classic movie lines, Muze came into the pop spotlight recently when Tony Romo was seen wearing their clothes while out with Jessica Simpson. Let’s hope his shirt lasted longer than his relationship.
  • Skullcandy: Looking to promote their new Decibel Collection, Skullcandy (which produces fashion headphones) handed out a number of their mid-range products.
  • Assorted eyewear: We never quite figured out what the eye guy was doing, but he did fit Pittsburgh Penguins coach Dan Bylsma for some prescription Nike glasses and was displaying a pair of Calvin Klein sunglasses with an 8 gigabyte flash drive in the frame.
  • Pure Power Mouthguard: Designed to improve jaw alignment and thereby improve athletic performance. You wouldn’t think it makes that big of a difference … but one of their dentists was able to help this writer’s strength and balance just by shoving a pen between my teeth. Their sponsored athletes get fancy versions, but apparently weekend warriors can drop a couple grand in hopes of dropping a couple strokes from their golf game.
  • Wynn: The Las Vegas casino gave a select crowd gift certificates along with an all-access VIP card for entrance into the clubs and pool. One Laker we talked to wasn’t impressed, joking that he gets free three-room suites at a rival resort. Maybe he’ll spend it at Tryst.
  • Marley Coffee: Ziggy isn’t the only one carrying on the family legacy. Turns out Bob always wanted to be a farmer, and his son Rohan is growing beans — the caffeinated variety. Hardcore sports fans may remember that he was on the 1991 Miami Hurricanes national championship team.
  • Axe: Branching out of the spray-on market less than a year ago, stylists worked on guy’s hair while they handed out bottles of product.
  • Zirh: Not to be outdone, the high-end men’s skincare line set up mini-massages and gave away some of their cremes and masks.
  • Patron: Besides serving drinks throughout the event, Patron also boxed up some basic party supplies and handed them out.
  • Pizza Fusion: Hey, somebody had to cater … being LA, they had to go organic.
  • Sentient: You probably haven’t heard of them because you don’t fly in private jets. And you won’t fly in private jets until you can afford to do so without a coupon. Which is why they were giving coupons to those who could afford it. One of life’s great Catch 22’s.


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