Mark Pain was the tennis coach at the Reading Tennis Club in olde England, that is until a group of 14 year old girls noticed him masturbating in his car. Parked in front of the Whitley Sexual Health Clinic, the 49 year old was full-on pleasuring himself when the girls espied him and reported it to authorities.
The prosecuting attorney, Andrew Isaacs had this to say regarding the incident:
It was around 8pm on Tuesday, May 19, in the car park of the clinic in Northumberland Avenue. He was in his car and wearing a black baseball cap and T-shirt. [The girls] noticed the car was parked and he was just sitting there. [One girl] looked into the car and could see he was masturbating. The girls waited at a nearby bus stop and he drove past them slowly and did this about eight times. The girl who saw this [the masturbating] take place described how she was frightened by what was happening and was concerned about the number of times he drove past. The two others said they knew what the individual was doing was wrong but were not sure what to do.
Reportedly Pain told police he had just finished playing tennis and started to “feel himself.”
After the hearing Pain announced “I am quitting my job.” You don’t say? I always knew the Brits were understated but that’s just impressive. Also, go Giants, right?! Ha.
The Slanch Report 
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