Posts Tagged ‘Washington Nationals


Nationals Strike Out With Art Too

ph2009040804240As awful as the product on the field is, all 6 Washington Nationals fans can take solace in at least that they play in a gorgeous new ball-park. Unfortunately, the District’s government is intent on ruining the beauty of the stadium. On Wednesday, 4 new public works of art were revealed at the stadium just inside the center field gates featuring former stars of Washington baseball past, Walter Johnson, Frank Howard and Josh Gibson. In addition, a giant mobile was hung by the food concessions on the first base line. Soon, fans may actually prefer to see the awful play on the field, if only to erase the awful memory of these works of “art.”

ph2009040804235The statues were designed by Israeli-born sculptor Omri Amrany, who is now based in Highwood, Illinois and who specializes in sports art. He may want a new specialty. Intending to use the bronze and capture the speed of the game, Amrany instead made the players look like they have multiple limbs and tumorous growths on their backs. Amrany says that the bronze growths that push out from the players’ backs and legs are meant somehow to indicate the momentum of their actions; that their multiple limbs are meant to convey the players’ moving parts. Instead, they make the players nearly unrecognizable and ruin the overall pieces.

ph2009040804319The mobile, actually comprised of 4 different mobiles was designed by Washington-based artist Walter Kravitz and while less awful than the bronze statues are boring and uninspired. Featuring wacky cut-outs of players in Scooby-Doo-type colors they left one child who saw them saying, “I really don’t like how they did the bodies.” And if you can’t impress kids with your art, then just get out of the game.

Fortunately, these works only cost $600,000 out of the public coffers. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE public funding of art, I think it is an extremely important thing for our government to do, I just wish they had picked better artists…However, considering how middling the Nationals are likely to be for the near future, maybe these statues make perfect sense…

[Washington Post]


The Washington Nationals are the Worst

I like hating on the Washington Nationals because I think they are most poorly run franchise in Major League Baseball. Jim Bowden, the GM is absolutely awful and makes bad decision after bad decision. For example, why was Ronnie Belliard signed to an extension? Or Christan Guzman? Or Dmitri Young? Or how about the fact that Bowden is being investigated for impropriety regarding taking a cut of signing bonuses from international players? Or maybe that the team just wasted $20 million on Adam Dunn who will not help the team NOT finish in last in their division over the next two years and may hurt the development of some of the only young prospects that the Nationals have. Then there is that the Nationals are the only team that has gone to arbitration this year, and not only that, but they LOST the case.

So the latest news, that the tenth best prospect on the team, Esmailyn Gonzalez who the team believed was 19 years old is actually Carlos Alvarez Daniel Lugo a 23 year old. Oops!

The Nats signed Gonzalez/Lugo in July of 2006 to a $1.4 million bonus, the largest the team has given to an international player. At the time, team president Stan Kasten equated the signing to when the Braves had signed Andruw Jones and Rafael Furcal in the mid-90s as showing the Nationals were going to be competitive in signing the best players.

Gonzalez put up excellent numbers last year in the Gulf Coast League, but looking at his numbers with this new information they are much less impressive, “Those are great numbers,” a scout told, “but you should be hitting that well if you’re that much older than your competition.”

And of course, the signing was engineered by Jose Rijo, special assistant to Bowden (and also subject of an investigation regarding impropriety with bonuses) and a man named Basilio Vizcaino, who helps prepare young players in hopes that they eventually sign big Major League deals and reward him with a percentage of a signing bonus.

Way to go Nats, but hey, you might only lose 90+ games this year instead of 100, so there’s that…



Goodbye Sweet Meathook

Dmitri Young, MLB’s 2007 Comeback Player of the Year has been outrighted to the Washington Nationals’ AAA team in Syracuse today. Baseball without da Meathook just doesn’t make sense. Young, who has overcome being diagnosed with diabetes, as well as suffering through playing two seasons (well, parts of 2 seasons) for the Nationals deserves better. Having played for the Cardinals, Reds, Tigers and Nationals over 13 seasons Young’s teams have lost nearly 920 games over that time span, including 7 teams that have lost at least 89 games in a season. This to me is an outrage. If the Nationals are going to get serious about winning they should care more about their AAA team and not attach such a losing albatross around their neck. So long Dmitri, I’ll never forget heckling you during spring training. Vote Da Meathook in 2012!


The Nationals are Deadbeats

The Washington Nationals will be mercifully finishing their season later this week, closing out merely 30+ games out of contention for the NL East, although the good news is that they are only 28.5 games out of the wild card. To cap off their inaugural season in their gorgeous new government paid-for home, the Nationals are celebrating by not paying their rent. After all, why should they bother, the product on the field is gift enough! Ted Lerner, the owner of the Nationals contends that the stadium is not “substantially complete” and so refuses to pay rent until the changes have been enacted. The city collects sales tax revenue from the stadium that is supposed to help pay down the debt from the costs that the city already outlaid. Unfortunately, since the Nationals completely and totally blow, no one goes to the games. And really, why should you? The product on the field is miserable, barely able to beat anyone, as of right now the Nats are 58-98, thats AWFUL–although I’m pretty sure that half those wins came against the Mets… With the lack of actual fans paying for tickets and buying things at the stadium Washington DC officials are forced to use a special business tax fund to help pay the debt off, of course the fund is not supposed to be used for this purpose and cannot last too long. But Ted Lerner, net worth $2.5 billion doesn’t think he needs to pay off the debt that the city accrued for his benefit. Why should a man who develops real estate think that paying one’s rent be a good thing after all. First he gets his $611 million dollar stadium financed by the city and the residents of Washington DC and now Lerner decides to tell them to all go fuck off. Nice.

Here’s a thought, if you aren’t going to pay your rent why don’t you at least use that money to help your team get better, for example by signing your NUMBER 1 DRAFT PICK, Aaron Crow, or hiring a GM who actually makes GOOD decisions. If you know that a player wants a giant bonus you don’t want to pay, DON’T FUCKING DRAFT HIM. Or is it better to remain mediocre forever? Someone take control of this franchise away from these people. I think when MLB was mishandling the team that it was in better hands.


The Nationals Hate My Rippling Pecs

The Washington Nationals have apparently been cracking down on topless fans at baseball games. Unlike topless soccer, which is wholly encouraged in Europe, topless baseball apparently is not the image that the nation’s capital team wants to present.

“We bought a few beers for $7.50 each, and kicked back to enjoy the game,” wrote Benjamin Correia, to the Washington Post, “Around the third inning, a ballpark employee informed me and a friend that we would have to put our shirts back on.”According to the Nationals, this is just part of their policy opposing any indecent exposure.

I wholly applaud this policy. Now, as someone who has a physique that is just simply marvelous–I get stopped constantly by women and even some men who just want to behold the splendor that is my chest. My abs are used by my friends to grate cheese, my pecs have led many art critics to cry due to their beauty, etc etc–I am so glad to see the Nationals crack down on those men who have been taking their shirts off in public and simply shouldn’t be. I didn’t come to swill my $7.50 beer and be disgusted by sections of pale, flabby gentlemen. However, as someone who is totally jacked, I should be allowed to show my body off. When I take my shirt off women coo, children come up and ask if I’m Superman and a flock of doves often fly alongside me, providing a cooling fan action with their wings.

Chubbers and guys who are so pale that they are translucent could easily screw up the batter’s eye, and they should be silenced (clothed.) For the Washington Nationals, who have dedicated this season to the lost art of finishing 70-92, I can totally understand their focus on this terrible plague upon their new stadium. Normal men without their shirts are horrendous, as a demi-god, that fortunately isn’t my fate. So, to the Nationals I stand up and cheer. Why worry about the product on the field, after all, there are MUCH more important issues going on out in the bleachers! But be careful too, we’ve also seen the hoopla that can surround the shirts that people DO choose to wear to games as well…


The Washington Nationals and the Kingdom of the Disinterested Fans

The Washington Nationals have been battling all season, scuffling their way to a 14-18 record and ownership of last place in the NL East. They are also the proud owners of a dope new ballpark, but that hasn’t inspired their team to greater heights, so it seems they are looking around for any new options that can help the team. To that end, this is the latest, completely authentic, 100% undoctored version of the Nationals’ schedule for the month of May.


(ed.: the original photo was deleted and so I replaced it with this one, similar but not the same.)

In what manner are the Nationals going to play Indiana Jones? Broadcast it at the stadium? Actually challenge Harrison Ford to a baseball game? Can a team be made up of the stuntmen from the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular? Will they do the Stunt Spectacular at the stadium? Do I need to get these tickets through Stubhub or Fandango?!?

A hearty h/t to the good Eick of


No Longer the King

Corpulent Ray King was demoted yesterday by the Mets-Killing Washington Nationals to the Nats’ Columbus AAA affiliate. King, an 11 year vet has taken umbrage at this dishonor and has told the team he’d like for them to trade him to another team that will give him a major league job or he might retire.

Considering how much he blows these days (and really he hasn’t ever been good except 2004 with the Cardinals) I think the choice is pretty obvious.

I wonder what he’ll do in retirement…

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