If you think that I wasn’t going to post these galleries of hot White Sox vs. hot Cubs fans then this must be your first day here at the Slanch Report. Make sure to check out the full larger galleries by clicking HERE and enjoy!
Loyal readers know who I’m opting for…
Anna Kournikova may not be playing competitive tennis anymore but that doesn’t mean she isn’t on our minds. Wimbledon will be starting up again soon and so it is only appropriate to showcase these new photos of Anna from In Style. Enjoy!
As the World Series of Poker is going on in Vegas, there hasn’t been anything of super excitement to the lay fan been going on. Until, that is, until “out of nowhere, a girl walked over in front of media row with a group of friends. And takes her pants off. Like a pack of rabid dogs, a mad scramble for pics of her ensued. Then, just like that, she walked off with her pants in hand.”
I’d be woefully remiss to ignore her accomplishments.
In a day and age when sports players are no longer being looked up to as heroes, where every superstar is suspected of using performance enhancing drugs, our most hallowed records are tainted and the stories of athletes in trouble with the law are constant, it’s nice to see that there are still some honorable people out there. Melissa Anne Teixeira is one of those REAL heroes.
Originally slated to be the quarterback of the New England Euphoria, the region’s entrant in the Lingerie Football League, the franchise struggled to find a proper venue and are instead, relocating to New York. For Teixeira, a lifelong Massachusetts resident, that move was simply too much for her and she submitted her letter of resignation to league officials on her blog.
After careful thought and consideration, I regretfully have to announce that at this time, it is not in my best interest to switch to the New York team. As much as I would like to be a part of this league, there are just too many unknown factors that have been taken into consideration. It is not feasible for me to relocate to New York with the current economic status, combined with my personal finances. At this time, I can not financially support myself commuting to and from New York weekly, while keeping up with my regular monthly expenses as well as my job, without completely knowing what I am going to get out of it, other then PR.
[SNIP]
While the publicity was appreciated, press can not be put in my wallet. It seems that I have already come out of pocket to be a part of this league and I can not continue to do so. This is the most honest & sincere decision that I can make. With everything in mind, I would like to say that I need to wait out the inaugural LFL season while anticipating the possible return of the New England Euphoria. Drawing a fan base from New England while playing for a New York team would not only be difficult, but it would be unfair and would take away from the team, as I would not be able to successfully contribute to the goal of ticket sales and promotion. The fans of New England are true to themselves and their teams, and I would like to remain a part of New England as this is my home. I am a New England fan and forever will be. I am sorry to have to come to this decision but it is in the best interest of myself, the New York Majesty and their fans. If there is something else within the league that I can do, please let me know and I would be glad to consider it. If not, then maybe New England will see you next year.
Unlike traitors like Johnny Damon, Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens, etc, self-respect and pride of home were much more important factors for Ms. Texeira. In a time when we have all too few real heroes, Melissa Anne Teixeira stands up for all of us and says, “You can look at my ass in lingerie, but only in New England,” and god bless her for it. USA! USA! USA!
[Hemi Girl via Sports by Brooks]
The other day, newlyweds Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen took to the Charles River in downtown Boston in kayaks for a leisurely afternoon spent being incredibly good-looking.
Unfortunately, as good as he is on the football field, it seems Tom Tremendous isn’t as skilled with a paddle in his hands. Tom flipped over in his kayak and then struggled to get back into the boat. Ultimately, the launch guy from the boat rental spot had to go out and assist Tom back into the kayak.
Thankfully, the ordeal wasn’t too draining for Tom who managed to work up the energy to go golfing yesterday at a Patriots’ charity golf event.
Also, while he might have been slightly embarrassed about the whole capsizing thing, I’m sure he can get over it when he has Gisele there to nurse his…ego.
Sigh.
Good news for those of you still interested in my desire for Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly; she ISN’T marrying Derek Jeter!
Of course, I thought they were already broken up so…
But, when asked about rumors that Jeter was out ring-shopping with Kelly he responded incredulously, “The what? Engagement rumors with who? I have not heard that.”
First off, there’s nothing classier than referring to your ladyfriend as “who.”
Minka, I would treat you with respect and class, because together, we’d be magic.
MAGIC!
My interest in funny car racing is non-existent, besides when we looked at uber-cutie Ashley Force last year, well, as of now there are TWO reasons for me to enjoy the NHRA, and it’s Ashley’s youngest sister, Courtney.
While there is a middle sister, Brittany, she doesn’t excite my passion for the sport in the same manner. Courtney is 20, and when she isn’t on the drag race circuit she is working on a communications degree from Cal State Fullerton, fulfilling a promise to her mother. Seeing that she’s following in her father’s (and sisters’) footsteps, Courtney might, if you’ll excuse the pun, become a force to be reckoned with. As well, she is on the family’s reality show, Driving Force. I may have to start following funny car racing now…but for the moment, I’ll enjoy these many photos after the jump I hastily assembled of her cuteness-osity.
And if you’re interested in following Courtney a bit more, she will be writing a regular piece for the USA Today as she goes through the racing circuit this summer.
As race organizers prepared for an F1 race in Monaco, team representatives requested that they remove an ad that was along the course because it was too distracting for the drivers. The ad, for Martini liquers, features Californian model, 29 year old Jessiqa Pace, and the ad apparently was too steamy for the drivers to handle.
Scottish former driver David Coulthard said: “The drivers have asked for the poster to be taken down because it’s distracting them.”
During trial runs, former champ Lewis Hamilton crashed just yards from the site of the billboard. The hubbub didn’t stop Jessiqa from having a good time though, she spent the weekend partying on a luxury yacht with the various F1 teams. “All the attention is overwhelming,” she said, “I find it really funny. Obviously it’s very flattering that I’m distracting the drivers so much, but I’d feel terrible if someone got hurt. They’re all very handsome men and are very popular with the girls. There is one driver who I think is a cut above the rest but I’m keeping it secret.”
I can’t imagine what was so distracting…
Remember Simona Halep, the 17 year old Romanian tennis player who featured some — uh, I do I say this classily — oversized funbags? (ed. You blew it) Well, sad news for her many new fans and for the ratings for women’s tennis, she’s seriously considering a breast reduction. According to ProSport.Ro and some poor translation:
I do not believe that physical appearance has an effect on performance, so I help with anything in the sport. My mind bust when for me to go and even if the land would not be sporting, I would have felt very good. Inconvenience me, it’s very hard with them. It’s a weight in addition to confound me speed response. I can not go on very well. Shoot me down. Nothing in life is not like me even though sport was not all I was doing surgery, revealing Halep. Surgical intervention should take place last year, but probably will use it in autumn, because the postponement might cause problems in the column.
Makes perfect sense to me. While I’m sure there will be many heavy breathing fans who will be disappointed, I’d like to posit this, a boob reduction doesn’t mean she’s going to from these, to mosquito bites, and in the long run, she really isn’t that hot anyways. Besides, isn’t woman’s tennis all about the TENNIS; that’s why I watch…
But then, I’m a much more enlightened kind of guy.
[ProSport.Ro via Sports by Brooks]
Playing in Northern Ireland is tough enough, so in order to drum up some publicity, Linfield FC launched their new away jerseys with some fanfare, or more accurately, Lucy Evangalista, a former Miss Northern Ireland.
I was unaware Evangalista was an Irish name, but I’ll look well past that because she isn’t wearing any pants.
I find it particularly amusing that alone, she can pose in just her underwear, but when the team’s players show up she has to put shorts on. Whateves, to mix metaphors, I have a new horse in the Northern Ireland soccer game!
Leg Seven (to Galway, Ireland) of the Volvo Ocean Race began over the weekend; the 70.5 foot long, 11 man crewed tall ships took back to the sea from Boston Harbor for the next segment of the 37,000 nautical mile race due to end in St. Petersburg in June. Among the teeming crowds on hand to support the ships were French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault and his new wife, Salma Hayek. Aboard the Il Mostro, the representative of the Puma Ocean Racing Team in the race, Salma and her hubby took a spin at the wheel, and hopefully will bring the vessel some good luck.
“Salma christened Il Mostro in Boston Harbor a year ago to the day,” skipper Ken Read said, “It’s great to have our boat’s godmother with us as we leave Boston and I hope she’ll bring us good luck in this leg.”
Sad news today; those pictures from the Panamanian cricket game that seemed too good to be true were just that. Careful investigation by The Rap Up has discovered that the initial doubts were justified, these photos were photoshopped. Why must the world conspire to take away the best among us? Here is the ORIGINAL photo prior to being altered; still nice, but not out of this world.
Sigh.
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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