Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach loves pirates so it was quite a happy surprise for him when he showed up to work and his parking was transformed by other members of the athletics department. I guess a Red Raider could be a pirate…
Archive for the 'Football' Category
03
Sep
09
Y’arr, Who Be Parking in Me Spot
02
Sep
09
Tony Romo Prefers Blondes
After breaking things off with Jessica Simpson, Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo has been spotted around Dallas with a new lady on his arm, former Miss Missouri Candice Crawford. The 22-year old hottie works as a reporter covering the team for a local TV station where she evidently met the young Lothario. She’s also the younger sister of Gossip Girl‘s Chace Crawford, who as yet hasn’t introduced me to Blake Lively, something that is a MAJOR faux pas.
Considering before Jessica Simpson, ol’ Tony was with Carrie Underwood, another blonde-tressed lass, I’m going to go out on a major limb and say Tony seeks out big-breasted blondes. Bold I know.
While the Brett Favre circus continues in Minnesota, reporters have been asking various Vikings if there is a schism in the locker room with the-one-who-won’t-go-away’s presence. Noted intellectual Jared Allen had by far the quote of the week regarding the issue:
I don’t think anyone on this team knows what ‘schism’ is, let alone could use it in a sentence. I thought it was an STD when I first heard it and I was like ‘whoa, we preach abstinence in these parts.’
28
Aug
09
A Moob Filled Doppelganger
When Bill Parcells arrived in New England to take the reins of the Patriots the entire culture changed. He brought with him a history of success and demolished the culture of losing that had defined the Patriots ad nauseam. He also brought over a surly defensive coordinator with a propensity for grey sweatshirts who has become probably the greatest coach in NFL history. Having been in comedy for years, but with limited national success, Lenny Clark is one of the most naturally funny people in the business. He also once in the 80s while doing stand-up in Cambridge, MA stole a city bus and drove around making the stops on a dare. Beyond the moobs that both men share, they also share a distinctive facial resemblance too.
Agree or not, vote in the poll below to express yourself and as ever check out the complete doppelganger warehouse gathered on the permanent page.
27
Aug
09
A Tale of Two Cities
In Houston, Texas, fans at Reliant Stadium may find their thirsts not quite quenched. Where once their cups overfloweth with 24 ounces of great tasting, less filling beer, now their cups runneth dry with a mere 20 ounces. The price, obviously, remains the same.
Vice President for Communications Tony Wyllie had this to say: “If we’d served 24 ounces this year, the price would be higher. Honestly, it was more of a responsibility decision [to try and cut down heavy drinking]. It wasn’t a business decision. … We as the Texans wanted to do the most responsbile thing.”
You bet! This has NOTHING to do with the team making more money…
And to only point out how ass-backwards America is next to our European compatriots, German soccer team Bayern Munich — who are currently stuck in 14th place — will give out 7,000 liters of free beer before their game on Saturday.
Hmm. Less beer for the same price or FREE beer… hmm…hmm… You know, I’m switching allegiances. I’m now a Football fan. You win this round Germany.
[Houston Chronicle and Yahoo]
13
Aug
09
Quote of the Week
Sometimes I worry for the future of America and the world based on the time I spend around children. However, whenever things get too bad something always comes along to refresh my faith. This time, it was this 10 year old Broncos fan who wants to make August the National Jay Cutler Burn Jersey Month.
Finally, a cause I can get behind!
12
Aug
09
They’re Friendster Friends Too
The friendship between Bill Belichick and Jon Bon Jovi was on display at yesterday’s Patriots training camp and it always makes me laugh. Can you imagine two more disparate people?
What do they talk about? Can I hang out too?
12
Aug
09
Drew Brees is Good at Football
While I argue that calling Drew Brees the “NFL’s BEST quarterback” is a case of hyperbole running wild, this video of him is pretty fucking awesome. As part of the show Sport Science, Drew Brees was pitted against Olympic archers in an epic battle of accuracy from 20 yards.
The archers manage a meager 50% bullseye hits in their attempts while Brees steps up and demolishes them. The video is a little long, but you can do it, it’s worth it if only for the awesome slow-motion shots of Brees throwing a ball. I also learned something interesting, did you know that SOME wobble in a football toss is not only good, but NECESSARY? See, the Internet IS useful.
[NY Times]
Reportedly, three years ago the Pittsburgh Steelers phoned the Pennsylvania State Police for some “gun safety instructions” which led to 14 members of the team heading to the Greensburg barracks. There, the troopers and the Steelers players took out the illegal assault weapons from the evidence room, some ammo and had a fun ol’ time.
“It’s a state police firing range used for state police to train. When we’re there, it’s downright military,” said one state police official, who requested anonymity. “But at this event, it’s chaos. Everybody’s throwing contraband assault weapons around like they’re toys; it’s like they’re having G.I. Joe tryouts. Not only is this totally unethical, but it’s totally illegal.”
The State Police insist that nothing was amiss in their actions, saying they do these kinds of events regularly and denied that the Steelers players used ANY of the seized weapons.
“This was a good-faith gesture to ensure that they [Steelers] knew how to operate firearms safely,” Lt. Myra Taylor said. “We do this with a number of other community groups – Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, citizen police groups.”
Unfortunately for the troopers, anonymously distributed photographs from the event show the players shooting M-16s and other handguns and rifles at targets in the barrack’s firing range. All around the players are the smiling happy faces of troopers, instructors and barracks superiors.
While Taylor insisted that the guns were “personal weapons owned by others,” there appears to be evidence tags visible on at least one assault rifle that a player is holding.
In addition to all that, the players violated basic safety rules, under the eyes of the instructors and supervisors, shooting without ear or eye protection. Later, in posed photographs the players are seen pointing their guns at their teammates’ heads, which must do wonders for team chemistry.
Among the players pictured were now-former Steelers Joey Porter and Najeh Davenport, and still current Steelers such as last year’s defensive player of the year James Harrison, Ike Taylor, Max Starks, James Farrior and Brett Keisel were also clearly seen. Other players were in attendance but due to the poor quality of some of the photos were difficult to identify.
The Steelers have not commented on the story.
12
Aug
09
Eagles Suit Up Intern at QB
With the injury to backup quarterback Kevin Kolb, the Philadelphia Eagles are a bit thin at the position so they’ve turned to an unlikely source, Matt Nagy. Who is Matt Nagy? I can’t believe you don’t know!
Nagy signed on with the Eagles this offseason as a coaching intern; come Thursday’s likely loss against the Patriots, Nagy will be the backup QB. The former University of Delaware star, who graduated in 2002 and whose sole professional experience came from the now-defunct Arena Football League. This should go well, it’s not like the QB is an integral part of the team or anything…
Last year we saw Pete Carroll and his USC Trojans team hanging out with their shirts off and lots of embracing. I thought that was a bit, hmm, homoerotic? Well, this clip of the Trojans getting together and singing “Lean on Me” while Carroll accompanies on the piano tops that by about a thousand.
And just because the team was doing this as hazing for a freshman doesn’t make it better or OK.
The Slanch Report 
Recent Comments