Scalping tickets is an’t an easy job, you need to be a quick negotiator, know how to size up your mark and be willing to take the best deal, even if it isn’t the highest price. Hamin Basim Ansar doesn’t follow that plan. Instead, while trying to scalp some tickets to John Langsett outside Landshark Stadium prior to the Jets/Dolphins game right at the same time as kickoff Ansar refused to budge on his price.
He wanted $150 per ticket while Langsett had only $100. It being kickoff already, Langsett figured it wouldn’t be a problem. So wanting his price Ansar did the only reasonable thing, he took out his pocket knife and stabbed the 24-year-old Langsett in the chest and the back of the head. The surrounding crowd saw what happened and detained Ansar until police could arrive on scene.
Langsett was airlifted to to the hospital where he was briefly treated and then released.
[Last Angry Fan]
Homecoming for John Glenn High School seemed to be a bust until the last-second field-goal attempt was blocked but never went beyond the line of scrimmage. Instead, as the Plymouth Wildcats celebrated and ran off the field, bedecked in their fabulous purple uniforms John Glenn milled about for a moment until finally one of the players grabbed the ball and untouched made his way to the endzone to win the game. Pretty sweet!
Also, I didn’t realize you could name high school’s for people still living. Where is the high school named after me? Oh what, I need to go into space and then become a senator for several decades before I get one? That’s just discrimination and I’m pissed.
Charges special teams ace Kassim Osgood is an avid twitter’er and when stuck in the hotel prior to this week’s game he took to the twitter-waves to ease his boredom.
First he tweeted this message:
I wish the game was tonite so we xan hurry up and get the heck out of here. Tired of this hotel!
Love the enthusiasm, love the desire to play, but why not find some productive way to spend your time. Read a book, learn a foreign language, write a haiku for each of your teammates perhaps.
Clearly Kassim and I are different people because instead of those activities he opted for some creative new hair-styling instead.
This Is what happens when left unattended and cooped up in a hotel all day instead of playing ball!
Someone find this man some board games stat! A few more weeks like this and he’ll be the Dennis Rodman of the NFL.
[Kassim Osgood via The JockoSphere]
In 2007 the Cleveland Browns traded back into the 1st round of the draft in order to acquire Notre Dame’s Brady Quinn; he was heralded as the QB of the future. The following season Derek Anderson came out of nowhere to have a Pro Bowl season and Quinn was relegated to the bench. Last year Anderson fell apart and so Quinn entered this season as the starter.
After a grand total of 10 quarters this year Quinn was benched again in favor of Anderson. It was just the third game of the season, after going 6 for 8 for 34 yards, and one interception, just like that, he was benched. Anderson came on and threw 3 interceptions and the Browns were crushed to the tune of 34-3. The next week head coach Eric Mangini announced that Derek Anderson would be the starter. How could he not, he was so EFFICIENT! This past week Anderson went 2 for 17(!) with just 23 yards and his team managed a grand total of 6 points. Awful. He remains the starter.
It is obvious Anderson CAN’T play and while we don’t know about Quinn, there is a CHANCE he can. Clearly though Quinn doesn’t think he’ll ever get that chance. According to a Cleveland newspaper, Brady has put his house up for sale and is about to formally ask the team to trade him.
That’s some good work there Mangini, you’ve been head coach for not even a season and already the entire franchise is in disarray and everyone hates you. That’s awfully impressive.
In Minnesota at this past Friday’s St. Francis High School football game, for the third game this season 5 students streaked the field. School officials decided to toughen the penalties for the students as a result, now the students could face suspensions, a ban from school activities or forced transfers or expulsion.
Last month at an away game two of the St. Francis students were arrested after they made their naked run across the field. One of the teens was charged with disorderly conduct and the other may be charged with fifth degree criminal sexual conduct for exposing himself to a minor under the age of 16. A conviction for that would require the teen to register as a sex offender for 10 years. Because, you know, that seems an appropriate punishment for a harmless prank. It’s not like streaking hasn’t been HILARIOUS for as long as crowds have gathered.
I hate prudes. Don’t the school officials recognize that streaking in Minnesota’s frigid temperatures is punishment enough?
The people of Ohio are mad for football of all levels, there’s a reason the Hall of Fame is in Canton, a place wholly otherwise unworthy of visiting. That level of devotion to the game stretches beyond humans in Wintersville, Ohio where 7-year-old Brandon Hiles chased after a football that rolled into the woods.
Hiles found himself face-to-face with a deer with the ball between them. The buck charged at him, flipping him with its antlers. Fortunately the young lad was only left with some bruises and a gash.
The deer was signed up by the Browns as he already showed more ball skills than any of their players.
I was once arrested wearing a pair of University of Washington boxers and essentially nothing else, so while I may not have an affinity for UW, I would say I pay more attention to them than anyone else. Of course, that doesn’t mean I watch their games, I don’t.
Had I seen this week’s contest against the University of Arizona I would have been able to see this incredible interception live. Junior linebacker Mason Foster is out in zone coverage and when an errant pass hits the receiver on the foot and pops up in the air he just happens to be in the vicinity leading to a unique pick-6. Or more acccurately, a kick-pick-6.
I know the guys who play pro football are athletic freaks, but you don’t get to see them using their skills not on the field very often, the NFL wants to change that. Here’s a commercial made by the NFL to showcase their fantasy football option. I don’t know if these clips are all for real or not, I hope they are because some of these moves to show off the players’ skills are flat-out ridiculous.
I’m most impressed by Laurence Maroney, I think that’s the first time I’ve seen him go and hit the hole hard instead of stutter-stepping until someone tackles him.
After Monday’s Vikings/Packers Favre-fest some Packers fans were noticeably on edge. Ryan Hinderaker was one of those fans. Wearing a Packers T-shirt he got into an argument with a Vikings fan at the Leaning Tower of Pizza restaurant in Minneapolis where they were watching the game.
The two men “bickered back and forth” for a few minutes and after the game Hinderaker followed him outside intending to confront the opposing fan.
Being rational, Hindraker did the only appropriate thing, he pulled a knife out of his pants pocket and stabbed the other man in the stomach.
Showing his gentler side, after stabbing the other man Hindraker then called 911 and turned himself in. What a guy! He was charged with felony second-degree assault.The victim was rushed into surgery, but fortunately the injuries aren’t life-threatening.
The police made sure to note that the victim wasn’t wearing Vikings gear.
Police said the victim wasn’t wearing Vikings attire.
Former YES host Michelle Beadle (and dream woman of commenter Myummers) made this faux-commercial for her current gig of hosting ESPN2’s Sportsnation spoofing Brett Favre’s Wrangler Jeans ads. It’ s not incredibly funny, but she’s really attractive and her pants fall down so, there’s that, and really that should be more than enough.
Do you have a couple million dollars just sitting in your bank account collecting dust? Well the city of Pontiac has got the deal of the century for you, the former home of the Lions, the Pontiac Silverdome.
With seating capacity up to 80,311 you can throw a really epic party for all your closest Facebook friends. Finally live your dream of going behind the counters of a real hot dog vendor stand!
And remember, back when the Lions played in the Silverdome they weren’t the essence of suck that they are now, they played to 91-71-1 record in the Silverdome, so the stench of failure doesn’t totally permeate the stadium. Impress ladies at a bar by telling them you own the place where the largest attendance record for a sports event was set, the epic WrestleMania III where Hulk Hogan took on Andre the Giant. Any woman who doesn’t immediately fall for you after learning that factoid isn’t worth your time. What about when you tell the ladies that during their 1994 North American tour Pink Floyd played the entirety of The Dark Side of the Moon for the first time since 1975? Put THAT in your pipe and then pass it to your neighbor because, c’mon, you never take your own greens.
The city is accepting sealed bids for the stadium through November 12th and the 127+ acres it sits on, so you have limited time to get your ducks in a row. The Silverdome would also make a great stocking stuffer for those closest to your heart.
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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