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15
Jul
09

Cubs Security Are Hard-Asses

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags: ,

For 65 years Yosh Kawano (front left) served as the equipment manager of the Chicago Cubs, retiring last season. Two weeks ago he went back to Wrigley — something he has done frequently since his retirement — to visit some of the grounds crew. 6SRibRUIThe team was out of town and three security guards came up to Kawano and told him he had been spotted by the security cameras and needed to leave. Interestingly enough, the Cubs home locker room IS NAMED AFTER HIM.

Club officials didn’t know about the incident when it happened and have said they will be contacting Kawano directly ”to let Yosh know he is always welcome,” senior vice president Michael Lufrano said.

”They [the security guards] apologized to me and said it bothered them,” Kawano said. ”They said I’m not supposed to be there when [the team] isn’t there. How do you think I felt? It’s embarrassing.”

Last season the team had a special day in his honor and flew a flag with his name over the stadium. In addition, along with the players and announcers the team has honored, a flag for Kawano hangs in the main concourse.

”Yosh was a fixture here for 65 years, and we celebrated him with a day in his honor last June 26,” Lufrano said. ”He has a standing invitation to come to any game here and we’ve offered to find ways to help him and his family in any way, and we’ll be in touch with him to express that again.”

Kawano went to Cooperstown last June to give them his trademark floppy hat for display at the Baseball Hall of Fame and has been nominated for the HoF’s Buck O’Neil award for lifetime achievement in baseball. Apparently those credentials aren’t enough for the Cubs crack security teams.

[WBBM]

14
Jul
09

Canterbury Tales

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

g0da2584b660ddbe45e4f87189bab0721d0ffdaeebe6578Having never been done at the Major League level, and only once in all of the minor leagues, the Home Run Cycle is the rarest of rare in baseball. High schooler Eli Canterbury however can say that, for one day, he did something legendary after completing the feat last Wednesday during a 19-1 victory in the District 1 All-Star tournament in Barboursville, WV.

“After the first one, I never dreamt it would happen again,” his mom, Angela Canterbury said. “To be honest, I just didn’t want him to strike out.”

Even cooler than just doing the deed, Canterbury hit the 4 home runs in order; his first at-bat was a solo shot and when he strode to the plate in his final AB — with the 2-run and 3-run shots already taken care of — the bases were full, and soon, the ball was flying over the fence, a Grand Slam.

“I don’t really know what I thought. He pitched it and I hit it,” Eli Canterbury said. “I just tried to swing straight and stay level.”

Awesome. Simply AWESOME.

[Herald-Dispatch]

14
Jul
09

The Devil Is in the Uniforms

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

At Saturday’s Rays game, they wore some retro uniforms, all the way back to the good ol’ days of 1998! Since dropping the “Devil” part of their name, the Rays have won 145 games over the last season and a half, add in the teams first winning season/playoff appearance/World Series appearance and it seems like dropping the Beelzebubian part of their name has worked.

In Saturday’s game manager Joe Maddon was ejected, the team’s 4-game win streak was halted, catcher Dioner Navarro was taken to the hospital after taking a foul ball off the side of his face and worst of all, SMASH MOUTH played a concert at the Tropicana after the game.

We just seem to play better in a Rays uniform,” said Joe Maddon. “That was not pretty.”

I wouldn’t expect to see the “retro” uniforms again any time soon.

Also, to be fair, I used to really like the Smash Mouth first album.

[The Ledger]

14
Jul
09

National Fail

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Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags: , ,

2008106662How do you replace a manager who starts off his major league career going 157-251, a .385 winning percentage? If you’re the Washington National Failures you do so with a 522-652 career record, good for a .445 winning percentage. SUCCESS!

After ousting Manny Acta, who was never given a fair chance, or a Major League team for that matter, the Nationals have hired Jim Riggleman the failed former Padres, Cubs and Mariners manager. I’m sure this will lead to success.

What, Butch Hobson wasn’t available?

[ESPN]

14
Jul
09

Pujols Puts His Money Where His Mouth is

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

albert-pujolsDuring the home run bonanzas of the steroid days, then-SI writer Rick Reilly challenged Sammy Sosa to take a piss test to prove he didn’t use steroids. Despite being a douche of the umpteenth degree, Reilly has been proven right. Now, while putting up one of the best first-halves in the history of the game, Albert Pujols is trying to be the hero that baseball needs, the one that everyone thought Alex Rodriguez was, until he proved to have been a steroids user too.

“I can understand people being disappointed with A-Rod and Manny,” Pujols says, “But just because Manny made a mistake, now I have to pay? Just because A-Rod made a mistake, now I have to pay? Oh, guilt by association? That’s wrong.”

“For people to be suspicious of me because of the year I’m having and for people to say I just haven’t been caught, that makes me angry and disappointed.

“I would never do any of that crap. You think I’m going to ruin my relationship with God just because I want to get better in this game? You think I’m going to ruin everything because of steroids?”

Already tested he says 6 times, Pujols says that if that isn’t enough, he’s willing to be tested EVERY DAY, and if he is caught using anything banned, he’ll repay to his employers, the St. Louis Cardinals every cent they’ve paid him.

“Come test me every day if you want. Everything I ever made in this game I would give back to the Cardinals if I got caught,” he told reporters.

In this day and age when the fans look at all the players as tainted, I desperately hope that Pujols is the real deal. I don’t care that much about steroids, if everyone was doing them, so be it, it’s unfortunate for the ones who weren’t, but they weren’t complaining when their salaries were rising thanks to the steroids users. However, I want Pujols to be clean.

Albert Pujols is simply too damn good at baseball. If he is using steroids it might break my heart. I want to believe that the things I see him do are legit, I want to believe that a human being is capable of being as incredible as he is; if he were to test positive I don’t know what I’d do.

At this point, no one would surprise me, but Pujols would disappoint me. I hope these statements of his are true, that he is clean and that the evidence will back it up. Baseball needs him. I need him. And at least one of my fantasy teams needs him too.

[USA Today]

10
Jul
09

Hanrahan Gets the Win Miles Away

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Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , ,

20080529-005237-pic-47351916It took until July 9th, but Joel Hanrahan finally got his first win of the season, and he did it with probably the easiest outing of his season, and on a day off no less! Relaxing in Philadelphia with his new Pirates teammates, 15oo miles away his former mates on the Nationals were taking on the Astros in the continuation of a game started on May 5.

The original game was in the 11th inning when the game was forced to be suspended due to rain. Tied at 10, Hanrahan was on-deck to bat when the game was called. The game was finally resumed last night, albeit in Houston instead of Washington. LaTroy Hawkins who was pitching when the game was originally called was back out on the mound gave up a single and then an error by Miguel Tejada led to a quick run for the Nationals and the game.

Hanrahan, traded on June 30th to the Pirates thus earned his first win of the season, for a team he no longer plays for, improving his record to 1-3.

[ESPN]

10
Jul
09

Forget Halladay, Let’s Get A-Gon

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags: ,

AdrianGonzalezWith Toronto GM JP Ricciardi’s announcement that he would be fielding offers for Roy Halladay, the baseball world has been abuzz with rumors and talk about where he might go. One of the possible destinations is, of course, the Red Sox. While I would love that move, it is highly highly unlikely. For one thing, Halladay is 32, will most likely require an extension taking him another 3-5 years at Johan/CC money. Josh Beckett’s contract is also up after next season and will be in line for a salary similar to that AJ Burnett is earning as a minimum. The likelihood of the Red Sox investing somewhere in the neighborhood of $30+ million in just 2 pitchers is very small. Add in that Jonathan Papelbon is going to keep earning gigantic arbitration awards, probably somewhere in the $10 million range next year, and you’re looking at upwards of $40 million for just 3 players. That’s not fiscally responsible.

Halladay would make the Red Sox by far the runaway candidate to win the World Series this year, but at what future cost? At the same time, the Red Sox right now are still one of the likely representatives in the World Series as is.

I for one would prefer to see the Sox turn their minor league development machine into adding another bat to the roster. At this moment the team is not desperate for another big bopper in the lineup, but at the end of this season third baseman Mike Lowell’s contract is up and despite his being an incredibly valuable member of the team, is unlikely to be extended. That means there’s a hole in the infield. Thanks to Kevin Youkilis’ versatility, the team can look to add either a third baseman OR a first baseman and I have the perfect target; Adrian Gonzalez of the Padres.

Continue reading ‘Forget Halladay, Let’s Get A-Gon’

10
Jul
09

Ooh, Ball in Your Face

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves, Random and Soccer
Tags:

In honor of Erin Andrews taking a ball off the face on Wednesday, here’s a gallery assembled by Bula Pictures of other people taking a ball, or foot, or dog to the face. Enjoy!

18

[Bula Pictures]

09
Jul
09

I Think Jeter Wins This One

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , ,

I was looking through some of my blog stuff today and noticed that for some reason, this post I wrote a few days ago never posted, so, here it be. Apologies for the lateness.

I simply can’t say it any better than the folks over at Barstool Sports did with this one, so, enjoy!

“Jeter vs. A-Rod Summed Up in Two Photos”

jeter arod
[Barstool Sports]

09
Jul
09

There Goes Her Social Life

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball, Hot Women and Television
Tags: , ,

erin_andrews_sexy_4At last night’s Mets/Dodgers game Erin Andrews and the rest of the Wednesday night baseball ESPN crew were in attendance. Unfortunately for her, she got a ball in the face from Alex Cora when he hit a line drive foul in the 4th inning.

Now, less classy people would make plenty of balls on her chin jokes, but I’m way above that. I don’t need to stoop to that level. Indeed a lesser man might make plenty of oral sex jokes, or even deep-throating comments, but again, that’s not me. I’m all class.

Anyways, she was taken to the hospital a few innings later and her only injury was a bruised chin.

[TMZ]

09
Jul
09

Lightning Crashes

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

tropToday’s game between the Tampa Bay Rays and Toronto Blue Jays was delayed for about 20 minutes when lightning struck the top of the Tropicana knocking out power to a bank of lights.

This is the second time it’s happened this season. They can’t get a new stadium fast enough, and the Trop is only 19 years old.

[WTSP]

09
Jul
09

Canseco Soon to Be Beaten By Wing Champion

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Baseball and Douches
Tags: , ,

203Because he always needs money and desperately needs attention, Jose Canseco has agreed to enter the boxing ring once more, this time against competitive eating champion Bill “El Wingador” Simmons (left). Canseco in three previous fighting matches has been knocked out by a former Philadelphia Eagle, fought to a draw against DANNY BONADUCE, and was pummeled by 7’2″ Korean kickboxer Hong Man Choi, so I’m sure Simmons is VERY intimidated by Canseco’s prowess.

The fight will be on July 24th although the venue is yet to be announced; I’m sure ticket prices will be low and there will be plenty of empty seats.

Simmons — who has won the illustrious Philadelphia Wing Bowl a record 5 times — came out of retirement in 2008 to compete once more, finishing in third with a personal record 205 wings eaten in 2 minutes. I imagine his farts alone can knock out Jose.

[Celebrity Boxing]

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