Archive for the 'Baseball' Category



04
Sep
09

A-Rod Mounts a Mountie

During last night’s Blue Jays/Yankees game Alex Rodriguez went chasing after a foul ball of the bat of Lyle Overbay. Keeping his eye on the ball, Alex didn’t notice that he was on a collision course with a Canadian police officer seated along the line.

After the game A-Rod quipped, “I’m just glad she didn’t read me my rights … Oh my god, how embarrassing.”

Seems like a pretty sad way to just cop a feel of a cop.

arod2

[Blitz Corner]

03
Sep
09

Phillies Employee Flushes His Ring Away *(UPDATED)*

Thanks to the security camera footage at Citizens Bank Park, the missing Phillies World Series ring has been recovered!

A janitor at the stadium found the ring and led police to it in a supply closet where he had stashed it wrapped in a paper towel.

Police are planning on filing charges against the janitor, who they believe hid the ring because he had second thoughts.

[Officer.com]

03
Sep
09

Why America Loves Ken Griffey

beltreIt took some prodding — not in that way — from manager Don Wakamatsu but Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre finally agreed to wear a cup when he plays in the field. Despite a BLEEDING TESTICLE from taking a grounder off the junk, Beltre still wasn’t convinced that the cup was worthwhile.

“Adrian will wear a cup tonight,” Wakamatsu said before Tuesday’s game.

In a moment of pure comic genius, teammate Ken Griffey Jr. arranged to have Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker” play when Adrian strode up to the plate for his first at-bat.

Brilliant.

[Seattle Times]

03
Sep
09

Nice Joke Smart Guy

jews-fake-bomb-threat-new-jerseyBefore Wednesday’s game with the Red Sox an employee of the Rays was arrested for planting a fake bomb in what he termed a “practical joke.” Funny. I get it!

William L. Jordan, a mechanic with the team built and hid the device as a goof according to the St. Petersburg police.

“His actions were in very poor taste and do not reflect the values of the organization,” Rays vice president Rick Vaughn wrote in an e-mail.

The “bomb” was a box taped to a shelf with wires sticking out and emitting a “beeping” sound. The police were called and, realizing the severity of the situation, admitted he had put it there and apologized.

Unfortunately, the bomb squad had already been called and arrived on the scene where they confirmed it was a fake. Jordan, who has worked for the team for 3 years may not have much longer in his tenure with the team.

“This will be handled internally,” Vaughn wrote regarding whether or not Jordan would lose his job.

I gotta say, if you can plant a FAKE BOMB at your workplace and NOT get fired, that’s a hell of a leniant employer.

I guess when you have such a history of failure as the Rays do it only makes sense…

[Tampa Bay.com]

02
Sep
09

Please God NO!

Curt SchillingIn an interview with NECN today Curt Schilling told Brad Puffer that he is considering running for the open Senate seat vacated by the death of Ted Kennedy. Schilling since his retirement has settled permanently in the Massachusetts area and is working with his video game company to create a new challenger to World of Warcraft. The big lug, a master on the mound, is never short of opinions which I guess, in his mind, makes him qualified for the seat. Considering that Kentucky sent Hall of Famer Jim Bunning to the exclusive club, Schill must feel like it’d be no problem for him to try it too.

Unfortunately for Schilling, and fortunately for the citizens of Massachusetts (and the US) there is ZERO likelihood of Schilling contending for the seat. He can want it all he wants, but Massachusetts doesn’t send Republican Senators to Washington, and if we did, they’d be at least MODERATELY qualified instead. Appearing before a congressional hearing on steroids does not count as experience.

Now don’t get me wrong, as a pitcher I have immense respect for Schilling, as a person, he strikes me — when not engaging in his many charitable activities — as a tool of the highest level. After all what kind of egomaniac needs to have his own blog to spew whatever comes out of his mind…

Oh.

Right.

Um.

I FORMALLY DECLARE MYSELF IN THE RACE TO BECOME THE NEXT SENATOR FROM MASSACHUSETTS!

[Boston Globe]

02
Sep
09

A Dumbo-Ear Sized Doppelganger

Appointed by his fellow owners to be Commissioner of Baseball, Bud Selig, America’s most successful used car salesman, has seen baseball’s revenues soar, attendance rise and has presided over an entire era of tainted numbers that he still has yet to apologize for. Had Selig stood stronger or done ANYTHING, we might not look back at the last 15-20 years of baseball as filled with cheaters. Of course, he needed the home run hitters to be prolific to cover up the mess that was the lockout and canceling of the World Series in 1994…Stephen Hawking is considered by many to be the smartest man in the world, quite the lofty position. When not figuring out complicated theoretical physics problems, Hawking is macking it on the ladies. After he and his first wife split up, he married his nurse, who happened to be the former wife of the man who created his first talking computer. Talk about SMOOTH! My man Hawking has got GAME! I say these two are near dead-ringers for doppelgangers, right down to the abnormally large ears.

Make sure to VOTE in the poll below and then to visit the permanent Doppelgangers page to enjoy the many others we’ve assembled.

SeligHawking

02
Sep
09

Looking Good D-Wright

wrighthitinheadAfter taking a 94 mph Matt Cain fastball off his head, David Wright has announced that he will be wearing Rawlings’ new helmet that supposedly can protect a batter against balls up to 100 mph. I applaud his choice. When these new helmets were announced, most of the big leaguers laughed at them, saying they’ll look ridiculous, apparently saving their brains wasn’t that important.

Then I saw these new helmets. Yowzers. It’ s like that scene in Major League when Vaughn gets his glasses and the manager says “…besides, seeing is the most important thing,” and Willie Mays Hays replies, “It ain’t THAT important…” It looks like Wright took his older brother’s helmet and wore it by accident. I think I’d rather take the fastball off the old helmet…

DwrightNewhelmetWell, at least the Mets can now count the Great and Powerful Gazoo as a member of their team. Maybe HE can magically erase their 17 game deficit in the division…


657284-gazoo_large

Ha, I’m just kidding. Nobody is THAT powerful.

02
Sep
09

RC Plane Divebombs Dodgers Game

Last night’s Dodgers/D-backs game wasn’t especially exciting in the gameplay department, but it did feature a notable appearance, a small RC plane executed some aerial moves to the delight of the crowd.

Is there anything that Vin Scully CAN’T make interesting? He continues calling the game while giving attention to what old-timers — I guess — call an airOplane and makes it all worth listening to.

Eventually, like Icarus and the sun, the plane flies too close to the dugout and a D-backs player comes out and rips the wings off, taking the plane out of service. Don’t let that keep you down though kids, you too should seek to soar for the untold heights, always reach for those stars!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[The Fightins]

01
Sep
09

Phillies Employee Flushes His Ring Away

Phillies+World+Series+Ring+front+640If your team has waited 28 years to win another World Series you think you’d treasure your championship ring, even if you weren’t on the field to win it yourself.

Well, one member of the Phillies’ marketing department has set off a big-time search by the team and Philadelphia police to find his ring which he took off while using the bathroom. Upon entering a restroom inside Citizens Bank Park, the unidentified and soon-to-be shamed employee took off his ring and placed it on top of a toilet paper dispenser, forgetting it there when he left.

Realizing his mistake he went back to find the $15,000 ring but — of course — it was gone. Ooops!

The cops and Phillies are reviewing security camera footage to try and find who might have grabbed the ring while it sat there. Talk about getting an AWESOME souvenir at the ballyard…
[NBC Philadelphia]

31
Aug
09

The Mets are the Best Run Organization

failureThey moved into a tax-payer financed $1 billion stadium with incredibly high ticket prices but the cost of featuring the second highest payroll in the majors and being bilked out of hundreds of millions of dollars by Bernie Madoff has left the Mets DESPERATE for cash.

Amidst rumors in the last few weeks that the Wilpons may be forced to sell the team, another example of the team’s anemic finances came when former GM Jim Duquette reported that the team has canceled their normal off-season instructional league.

Makes sense, after all the Mets prospects have been thriving recently… And if their current AAA lineup — excuse me, that’s their MAJOR LEAGUE LINEUP! — is any sign, things are robust down on the farm…

“There’s a lot of talk and I believe this is information that has not gotten out,” said Duquette, [on his XM radio show] “… The Mets have made a decision, and some organizations do this, but they’ve decided not to have what’s called their instructional league, which is, for their minor leagues, it’s an opportunity to develop [and] continue to develop your young players. And there’s some debate within circles over the past couple years the true value of instructional league but most organizations have a version of it. They’re not going to do it. Now the rumors within the scouting circles are that they can’t afford – which it roughly costs about 300 grand to staff and to invite and fly down all the players, to having meals throughout for about, it’s like a 4 to 5 week program. It gives you a chance to extend the development of your young players, of your prospects. And they’re not gonna have it.   They have cancelled it for this fall. And to me, being a development guy, that’s big news. If you’re development oriented, it’s not a good decision in my opinion.” 

Look, I get that the Wilpons lost a shitload of money, but to not be able to afford a couple hundred thousand dollars? Maybe if they didn’t have AWFUL management who outlays millions upon millions of dollars on wastes of roster space like Oliver Perez and Livan Hernandez or Omar Minaya they’d be able to develop young, cheap talent.

Quick, name the last successful Mets prospect to last a full effective season, I’d say no one since David Wright. And that was YEARS ago. But sure, cancel the instructional leagues…

The Mets are pretending that they will be doing a similar camp in the Dominican instead saying in a statement:

In a reevaluation of the Mets minor league operations, the club made the decision to move our Fall Instructional League to our new Dominican Academy in Boca Chica from Port St. Lucie, Fla. We believe that by housing our minor league players in the Dominican, we will have more opportunities to have competition against opposing teams that have training facilities nearby.

Say whatever they want, I firmly believe this is because the Mets were too cheap — or too poor — to go about the process of actually developing their own players.

But then, I’m a Mets hater right…

[NY Daily News]

28
Aug
09

We’re All Better Off with Doppelgangers

The Texas Rangers have progressed greatly this season, propelling themselves right into the thick of the wild-card race. At the beginning of the season and last year there were rumors that manager Ron Washington’s job was on the rocks. With the team’s success this season though, it looks like he’ll receive a well-deserved stay of execution. Malcolm Barrett plays Lem on the ABC sitcom Better off Ted, a show that I have never heard of and never seen. In fact, I have never knew Barrett existed until loyal doppelganger spotter the sister pointed this one out to me the other day. I buy it. Do you?

Please vote in the poll below to let this doppelganger venture into the magical land that is the permanent doppelganger page.

 

WashingtonBarrett

27
Aug
09

That’s One Tough Kid

From the semi-finals Little League World Series game between the Japanese team and Mexican team comes this clip of one of the Japanese players taking a fastball off the chin. Look at how stoic he is about it. I’m not sure he even BLINKS. Sure, you spit some blood and teeth out but you take your lumps and go down the line. That’s OLD SCHOOL.




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