Posts Tagged ‘Jayson Werth

16
Sep
09

Well That’s Just Precious

Catching a foul ball is a great moment for a fan; for this Phillies fan with his young daughter it’s all the sweeter because he can give the precious ball to her for a memento that she is sure to treasure for the rest of her life.

Or she would have if she didn’t throw it immediately back onto the field. I guess she’s not a Jayson Werth fan?

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[The 700 Level]

03
Jun
08

Everyone Loves Doppelgangers

We all have a doppelganger somewhere in the world and the danger of the two of you meeting and disrupting the time/space continuum is very real. The worst part is that generally you don’t know whether you, or the other you is the “evil” one. There’s just no way of knowing until you meet, and then of course, black holes are created and universes get sucked into oblivion and no one needs that on their conscience. Well, here are some lookalikes, let’s hope they all never meet one another for our universe’s sake.

If you have any suggestions for future doppelgangers to go here, please send me them here, and I’ll put them up right away!

Take for example, the certain product of a “Twins” like genetic engineering program where Vanilla Ice and former MTV Sports host Dan Cortez’ genetic “material” were combined with a MILF-y mom in order to create Jayson Werth.

In my younger days I used to occasionally watch “Full House,” I did so only for the impeccable writing and comedic talents that were on display. Regardless, the episodes when the Beach Boys would be on were always the best. Commentator Myummers pointed out to me the other night the similarity between now former Mets pitching coach Rick Peterson and Beach Boys bassist Bruce Johnston. You decide for yourself.

brucejohnston

Then there is Brent Lillibridge, a star shortstop for the Atlanta Braves AAA team who came up briefly earlier in the season and is likely to become a big-time player at some point in the bigs. Mischa Barton is a Hollywood starlet who loves to puff joints in her car. They also both look like wood elves.

“Good Burger” is a triumph of film making, and Kenan Thompson has gone from Nickelodeon child star to legitimate mainstream “actor,” now entering his 5th season of being generally uninteresting on “Saturday Night Live.” Ryan Howard is an MVP first baseman for the Phillies and an avid Subway sandwiches fan (although I doubt Kenan ever turns down a free sandwich either.) They have never been in the same place at the same time.

Garrett Olson is a pitcher on the Baltimore Orioles, he’s had some ups and downs, one night he is getting his ass handed to him by the Yankees and then the next time he goes 7 dominating innings in the win against the Yankees. Aaron Eckhard is best remembered by me for his tour-de-force in “Deep Blue Sea” the best movie about genetically engineered sharks ever. Brothers?

26
Apr
08

Orestes Destrade: MILF Hunter

It seems that the only thing hotter than Jayson Werth’s bat, is his mom. On Thursday’s Baseball Tonight, while showing clips of the Phillies game, Orestes Destrade got completely distracted and overwhelmed. It seems that Jayson Werth’s recent power outburst (now up to 5 HRs on the season) was a little too much for Orestes to handle. That, or maybe the fact that Werth’s mommy is hot.

Check out how Destrade can’t get off how attractive Werth’s mom is, Steve Berthiaume tries to move on but Destrade will have none of that. Something about Werth’s mummy excites something in Orestes’ testes.

werthmom

Now, to be fair, Werth’s mom is pretty hot, especially for a woman with a 28 year old son. According to Werth’s wikipedia page his mom, Kim, was quite the athlete in her day, participating in the Olympic trials for the 100 meter and the long jump. Also, her father and uncle were both Major Leaguers, Werth’s birth father was a minor leaguer and her current husband, Dennis Werth, played 3 years of big league ball, so she’s a baseball gal through and through.

To be honest, my initial thought was that was his girlfriend or wife, not his approximately 50 year old mom, but, hey, I’m flexible.

My favorite part of Destrade’s comments were when he says that he hopes Werth keeps hitting home runs so that they have more cutaway shots to his mom. Classy! Hey Ms. Werth, call him! I smell a love connection. After all, Destrade does seem to fit in with your love of fringey MLB players…




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

January 2020
M T W T F S S
« Jan    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories