The Slanch Report

Julian Tavarez was recently unceremoniously dumped by the Red Sox when they designated him for assignment. After no one stepped up to trade for him, he was released and then signed a deal with the Milwaukee Brewers. So far, his tenure there is very similar to his time in his previous homes as well. Case in point, Tavarez won a World Series ring last season with the Sox, and recently said, “I got my World Series last year and now I feel spoiled. I want another one and another one and another one.”

Perhaps he should take better care of the one that he has currently. This story out of Milwaukee reveals that Tavarez isn’t exactly sure what he did with his ring. After the Sox DFA’d him, he apparently left the $20,000 ring in his locker, somewhere.  “They’re going to mail it to me, I’m sure,” he told the Capital Times. Great.

I like Tavarez, well, not so much as a player but as a guy I’ve seen on TV and such he seems like a giant goofball who acts instintively and never thinks anything through. Perhaps that’s related to how he never really went to school as a child and has essentially been in an even more arrested state of development than other baseball players. That said, he loves to play baseball and while he’ll do boneheaded plays (like rolling a ball to first or punching a wall and injuring himself) he genuinely seems to enjoy himself out there.

But after having spent his entire career trying to win the World Series you’d think that something like your World Series ring might be a bit more valuable to him and at least he’d have a ROUGH idea of where such a thing might be. Maybe I’m just a silly Sox fan, but if I had a World Series ring I’d know where it was at every moment for the rest of my life.

I think Julian should just take Gagne’s. After all, he DEFINITELY didn’t deserve to get one at all. That would settle it easily.