Posts Tagged ‘Doppelgangers


A Giant Yankee Doppelganger

As a member of the Marlins, AJ Burnett once threw a no-hitter while simultaneously allowing 9(!!!) walks and out dueling the immortal Wascar Serrano. Since then, he has had both great success and great disappointments in the American League East and is likely to become a huge albatross around the neck of the Yankees payroll as he becomes a newer, wilder, more expensive version of Carl Pavano. On the other hand, Matt Cain is one of the most appealing young pitchers in the game, brought up to the bigs at the tender age of 20, his win-loss record is uninspiring but he has also been one of the unluckiest pitchers in the game, receiving little to no run support the last few seasons. When opposing GMs call the Giants, Cain is the player everyone looks to grab.

Reader Mattraw sent along this doppelganger and I think it has legs, and arms, and teeth even too! Let us know what YOU think by VOTING in the poll below and if this doppelganger receives enough votes it will move on to the PERMANENT Doppelganger page here.



A Double Jeff Doppelganger

A first round draft pick in 2004, Jeff Niemann was supposed to be one of the first wave of Rays young arms. Unfortunately, along the way he got lapped by some of his compatriots; getting his first extended look this season he hasn’t been particularly impressive but the sample size is a bit small. Best remembered for starring in such classics as Dumb and Dumber, and Dumb and Dumberer, Jeff Daniels has been in over 60 movies and played Anna Paquin’s father in Fly Away Home, nine years later he played her love interest in The Squid and the Whale. Now that’s range! Considering the almost 30 years age difference between the two men, let’s call this one, spotted by reader Saint Dynamite, more of a father-son type doppelganger.

What do you think? Make sure to vote in the poll below and if this one receives enough on it will go to the permanent doppelganger page that you would be foolish to miss.



A Basketball Stars Doppelganger

Since she was so dead-on with her prior doppelganger suggestions, here is commenter The Sister offering another one for all you doppelganger maniacs out there.

A former star at UConn, Ben Gordon hasn’t been quite as stellar in the NBA, while there is no doubt that he can score, the other aspects of the NBA game seem to be sometimes beyond him. Once a building block for the Chicago Bulls, now Gordon is more of a strong complementary piece, with the team moving to build around the dynamic Derrick Rose instead. Accused of, and acquitted, of rape charges, Kobe Bryant is also one of the best players in NBA history. Another championship this year w0uld elevate him into the pantheon of the top 5 of all-time. What do you think, did my sister from the same mother find a good doppelganger of brothers from another mother?

VOTE in the poll below and if this receives enough votes, on to the PERMANENT DOPPELGANGER page it will go.



A Mean Green Biting Fighting Doppelganger

Once the most feared man in boxing, Mike Tyson has since become so notorious for his actions in and out of the ring that at this point nothing he does surprises anyone anymore. For me, the day he got his face tattoo 6 years ago was when he reached that point. However, when he was in his hey-day, Mike Tyson was insanely awesome, watch this video to be reminded of just how incredibly fast and tough he was. Written as an intense, dark graphic novel, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were transformed by marketers into the more family-friendly, action-figured lovable turtles that were a part of my youth. Known as much for their love of pizza as their joy of fighting the foot clan, the TMNT were an integral part of my childhood, I still distinctly remembering seeing Secret of the Ooze in a theater so crowded I sat in the aisle; it was worth it.

Please VOTE in the poll below, your votes determine whether or not this doppelganger gets promoted to the PERMANENT DOPPELGANGER PAGE, every vote counts! Be heard!


This Doppelganger Train Don’t Stop

Thanks to loyal reader The Sister here are two excellent doppelganger options for you to enjoy as well as one that my own carefully honed eye spotted last night. Please make sure to vote in the polls below and then visit the permanent doppelgangers page to enjoy the many others we’ve assembled.

Nicknamed “The Baseball Monster” by my friends and I, Vladimir Guerrero strikes fear into the hearts of opposing pitchers everywhere; there’s no pitch he can’t hit, no matter how far out of the strike zone it might be, and when he makes contact, the ball goes a long long way. Once graced with the speed of a gazelle, Guerrero would relentlessly run down balls in the outfield before unleashing his absolute cannon of an arm. These days, his movements look like those of an 85 year old man, the years on the hard concrete surface in Montreal taking their toll. Guerrero is also the inspiration for my current fantasy baseball team name: My Two Vlads. There was a time when Arsenio Hall was the king of night-time entertainment; he was hailed as the successor to Johnny Carson and his trademark audience “woofs” took the nation by storm. He also managed to find time to co-star in the epic comedy movie Coming to America, which is on television somewhere, every other week. It is quite possible these men are long-lost brothers.


Thanks to Julio Lugo’s recent knee surgery, career backup and minor-leaguer Nick Green was given the chance to break camp as a member of the Boston Red Sox Opening Day roster. While he hasn’t done much in his MLB career, Green is a maximum effort type of guy, and in addition to the Sox he’s appeared in games for the Tampa Bay Rays, Seattle Mariners, Atlanta Braves and New York Yankees, although he’s only racked up 803 ABs since 2004 in the bigs. A pint-sized receiver, Wes Welker doesn’t seem like much to look at, except the little guy features blazing speed, excellent agility and the ability to make defenders miss. All of which has led 213 receptions in two years with the New England Patriots. During the season Welker is known for his amazing skills in open space and for an epic porn ‘stache that is just plain filthy; he also has dreamy eyes.


Thanks to their lack of a true top-flight center fielder, Reed Johnson, after unceremoniously being dropped from the Toronto Blue Jays made his way over to the Chicago Cubs where he has provided little pop from the bat but excellent defense. He’s also well-known across baseball for his large goatee that he usually lets grow out as the season progresses. Leading the heavy-metal band Anthrax, Scott Ian is ALSO known for his outlandish length goatees, as well as for the band’s hard-driving licks. He also is married to Meatloaf’s daughter and dropped his real last name “Rosenfeld” when performing, I guess because Jews can’t perform hard-rock. Whaddya think, doppelgangers?



A Pink Doppelganger for Luck

When he arrived on the scene, the portly Bobby Jenks was a godsend to the Chicago White Sox, helping lead the team to victory in the World Series. Since then he’s been an efficient closer, with an 88% save rate and is very noticeable out on the field for his large girth and long goatee, which he often has bleach dyed. Last year for Mother’s Day, Jenks and several other White Sox dyed their facial hair pink to honor their mom’s. Back in the day, you were no one if you didn’t have at least 50 troll dolls arranged around your house or desk. With their silly hair, and protruding bellies, the dolls were supposed to help bring luck, although they were more likely to instead bring dollars to their manufacturers instead. It’s possible that rubbing Jenks produces good luck, but you’re also likely to induce noxious gas…regardless, I think it’s fair to say these two share quite the resemblance.

For all the other doppelgangers, make sure to visit the permanent page here, and also please vote in the poll below!



Some Opening Day Doppelgangers

Opening Day means that the MLB Extra Innings preview is on, meaning I can watch games all day long. Ah happiness!

Watching the many games means I find many more doppelgangers, which means you win!

Also, not to get sidetracked but, I want to get the MLB package, except my goddamn Optimum cable service doesn’t have even ONE HD channel available. Optimum is the absolute WORST. I FUCKING HATE IT. I thought I disliked Time Warner, but compared to Optimum it isn’t even close. How can you not add ONE HD channel, Time Warner does it, DirecTV does it, Comcast does it. Why does Cablevision insist on being the WORST FUCKING CABLE COMPANY!

Anyways. Here’s the doppelgangers, as ever, please vote in both polls below and then visit the (RECENTLY REDESIGNED!) permanent doppelgangers page.

Once a part of one of the worst trades in baseball history, Jeff Bagwell went on to become a Hall of Fame caliber player, winning one MVP, and nearly winning two more. According to Bill James’ calculations, Bagwell is the 4th best first baseman of all time. He is also one of the few players in the modern era to play his entire MLB career with one team. Recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, James Hetfield fronts rock legends Metallica. Once considered one of the most bad-ass groups of all time, Hetfield and Metallica as a whole lost much of their luster after filming the documentary Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, where it was clear that the band was made up of a bunch of whiny complaining brats. Still, Metallica knows how to thrash, even if their image has been forever marred.


I acknowledge this one is somewhat laced with spite, but is also something I’ve believed for a while; Mark Teixeira has a horse face. Out to earn the most dollars, and proving multiple times in subsequent interviews that he is a duplicitous person, Mark Teixiera also possesses prodigious power in his bat, Gold Glove caliber defense and is yet to contribute in any meaningful way for a contender. He’s also now on his 4th team. Captain is the Texas Rangers’ mascot, a giant horse who wears number “72” honoring the year the team moved to the Dallas area. I guess the horse represents the gloriousness of Texas and its lawmen. I’m more surprised it isn’t a gun that shoots fireworks and pees liquor. Which would be a GREAT mascot by the way. Anyways, I find it hard to tell which one is the horse and which the man.



A Bat Boy Jockey Doppelganger

Mentioned in passing yesterady, this doppelganger deserves its own specific post.

Liam Treadwell is a British-born jockey, who is in his debut steeplechase season, he rose to the nation’s consciousness when a BBC reporter insulted his teeth immediately following him winning on a 100-1 long shot. One of the most iconic stories from the now-defunct Weekly World News, the saga of Bat Boy also inspired a hit musical by the same name. These two men share an awfully similar resemblance. Please vote in the poll below so this doppelganger pair can join the others in the doppelganger forest.

And as ever, for a myriad of other doppelgangers, click here to go to the dedicated Doppelgangers page.



An Oiler Sportscenter Doppelganger

Neil Everett is one of the better Sportscenter anchors, he and his usual partner Scott Van Pelt have great chemistry and Everett allows the highlights to be the focus of the show, as opposed to other anchors who think the show is all about them. The last player in the NHL allowed to play without a helmet, Craig MacTavish spent 10 years as a player for the Edmonton Oilers and is currently in his 10th season as their coach. He’s also the  only NHL coach to spend a year in jail for killing someone, something he did after being convicted of a DUI and vehicular manslaughter in 1984. It’s unclear at this time whether Neil Everett has ever killed anyone. Please make sure to vote in the poll below to ensure this doppelganger gets to move on to the illustrious Doppelgangers page.

And don’t miss the many other doppelgangers we have assembled by visiting the aforementioned Doppelgangers page by clicking here.



A Doppelganger on the Dark Side

Bob Sheppard has been the voice of the Yankees and Yankees Stadium since 1951, but will miss this year’s opening day due to illness. Sheppard, who is in his late 90s is probably the most iconic announcer in the history of announcers and it is unfortunate that the first voice to be heard over the loudspeakers at the new Yankee Stadium won’t be his. While all accounts have Sheppard down as a gentleman, that just means he’s the “good” doppelganger. Emperor Palpatine, on the other hand, was a man set on power, much like Sheppard’s boss, George Steinbrenner, and who would let nothing slow him down. I think these two share quite the resemblance and whether you agree or not, make sure you vote in the poll below!

And for all the other doppelgangers, make sure you visit our doppelgangers page here!



A Royal Doppelganger

Willie Bloomquist is a super-scrubby utility man who can field a little bit and run fast, but has some issues with that old “hitting the baseball” skill that most professional baseball players need. So, of course he gets a 2-year $3.1 million contract over the off-season from the Kansas City Royals to leave the Seattle Mariners. When he entered the clubhouse the first time he might have gotten very confused to see that he was already there. That would have been Royals catcher John Buck, best remembered by me as the guy who took Hideki Okajima deep on the first pitch Oki threw in the majors. I can only hope they utilize both men’s physical similarities for some incredibly awesome trick play.

And of course, please vote in the poll below in order to send these doppelgangers on to their final resting place, and make sure to check out all the other doppelgangers we’ve assembled by clicking here.



The Most Bad-Assed of Doppelgangers

If you haven’t watched The Wire, quite frankly you’ve missed some of the best television of the last 20 years. One of the shows standout characters was Omar Little (played by Michael K. Williams), a tough SOB who robs drug dealers and is one of the most feared people in Baltimore. When he walks down the street, everyone else runs away, he is infamous for using his shotgun on whoever gets in his way. When Randy Moss was traded to the Patriots in 2007 he instantly became a good citizen and the most dominant receiver in the NFL, putting up stupid video game numbers that are almost unfathomable. One of the absolute best when the ball is in the air, if it is near him usually Randy will pull it down. Please make sure to vote in the poll to let these doppelgangers move on.

And don’t forget to check out all the other excellent doppelgangers HERE.


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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

June 2021