So the folks over at Red Sox Monster got a video from a fan at the game of the guy getting arrested on top of the Rays dugout during the last Sox/Rays tilt. The video isn’t especially revealing, (down in front everyone else!) but gives somewhat of an idea what was going down. I particularly enjoy the commentary from the guy filming, “this is making youtube baby!” quite the society we have built where anyone with a camera or a free blog can write or post anything they want. Totally lame right. Anyhoo, stick around for more of the always illuminating SLANCH REPORT!
Posts Tagged ‘Boston Red Sox
I enjoy that whenever a high school team hazes someone it becomes major news and everyone wrings their hands and decries how horrible it is. However, when it comes to a professional sports team, the media can’t wait to fall all over themselves covering hazing and presenting it as hilarious and all in good fun. Sure, for some reason high school hazing always seems to end with someone getting teabagged or a plunger shoved somewhere uncomfortable and the pros merely make their rookies dress up in drag but still, isn’t hazing supposed to be illegal? That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy it, I mean who doesn’t want to see baseball players dressed as characters from High School Musical? Also, it is certainly a far distance between sodomizing someone with a plunger to making someone wear a dress, but I was under the impression that hazing is hazing.
Regardless, it seems obvious the Red Sox are breast-men based on some of the outfits that the rookies were forced to wear. Also, I’m curious who proposed High School Musical, I hope it was someone who has a young daughter or something, and not some veteran on the Sox who creepily watches that show. Anyhoo, here are some of the photos from the Sox rookies getting dressed for their journey down to Tampa. For more media fawning over this annual hazing ritual, check out the gallery from WBZ here and for pictures from the fan’s perspective, check out Center Field’s gallery.
Catcher George Kotteras has boobs for days
Chris Smith and Jeff Bailey make all the boys' hearts swoon
Jonathan Van Every knows what he likes, and that would be big boobs
Jed Lowrie though looks like a bad extra from Dazed and Confused
If I was one of the rookies I'd be furious that Justin Masterson and David Pauley got off so easy
First Jonathan Papelbon taught me how to play craps now, he’s taught me how to love. Papelbon’s mom, who clearly has an awesome sense of humor sent these embarassing videos to the Red Sox and Comcast Sportsnet from Papelbon’s high school years. In them Papelbon and a friend are dressed in drag and dancing and then later, Papelbon and friend recreate the final scene from Dirty Dancing which Paps as the Swayze. The reaction around the Red Sox clubhouse as they watch the video is pretty hilarious, especially when Papelbon and the guy get close enough for a near kiss. The best part for me though is David Ortiz both introducing the video and then interviewing Papelbon afterwards, the Large Father is a pretty funny dude.
There are several more videos, including the full unadulterated version on Comcast’s website here if you are so interested.
30
Aug
08
Why I Love Dustin Pedroia
From the Boston Globe’s Red Sox blog today:
“The answer is: Carlos Baerga, 2002.
The question: Who was the last Sox second baseman to bat cleanup?
Dustin Pedroia gets the honor tonight. The reason? Terry Francona indicated with Kevin Youkilis suffering from the flu to go along with Coco Crisp and Josh Beckett on the team sick bed, that he wanted to create a lineup that would be tough for the White Sox bullpen to counter. Francona said he’s taking a lot of grief from both Pedroia and David Ortiz over the lineup, Pedroia who keeps saying, “It’s about time” and Ortiz, who jokingly said he will retire.
Francona said he won’t make a habit of batting his little second baseman cleanup, but White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen did indicate after an 8-0 loss to the Sox that Pedroia was currently a tougher hitter to get out than Ortiz.”
Pedroia, who is the exact same size and weight as me, gives me hope that MY major league playing career is not a lost cause.
Despite hitting a double in his first at-bat with the Red Sox, I would say Red Sox nation is at most ambivalent to the recent arrival of Mark Kotsay. However, those of us who follow baseball closely ARE excited for one major aspect of the addition of Kotsay to the team, that would be the addition of Jamie Kotsay to the Red Sox family. Welcome Jamie! For those of you who are unfamiliar with Jamie, let us explain why we are so excited (she’s the one on the left): 
Then there is this photo that launched her into the dreams of many:
Jamie, who works as a model when she isn’t participating in team wife baseball games, is a very very welcome addition to the Red Sox and hopefully Theo will sign her to a very long-term deal. Mark on the other hand…
Anyway welcome to the city Jamie, welcome to the Olde Towne Team and, by all means, feel free to leave your husband for any of the one bloggers on this site.
(Oh, and for anyone wondering, in any group shot Jamie is always on the left side of the photo, I guess that’s her good side, although I haven’t found a side I dislike yet…)
The gents over at Home Run Derby came up with this picture from the Red Sox game last night where ESPN’s resident hottie Erin Andrews and NESN’s own hottie Heidi Watney were both stationed in the same photographers well. While Watney was on-air talking about something, Erin was behind her and, as we’ve seen with the men at Fenway, Heidi Watney’s ass just needs to be stared at. Far be it from Erin to ignore such a great sight. Although it appears like Erin doesn’t like what she sees, could Erin be threatened or does she simply find Watney’s backside unimpressive?
[Home Run Derby]
01
Aug
08
So Long Manny
I’m going to miss you Manny.
You were one of my favorite all time Red Sox, and much like the Nomar trade this one is hard to take. That said, intellectually I understand and appreciate the move Theo and the front office made. Jason Bay is one of the few players I would have wanted to come replace Manny next season, and instead we get a chance to test-drive him and see how he fits with this team. I’m sad to see someone whose number should have been retired as a Red Sox go off and play for Joe Torre of all people, but Manny wants his money and so he’s off on that adventure. I’m gonna miss him, his big at-bats, the watching of home runs, the sidearm flips in to second base to throw a runner out and all the goofy stuff in between. Manuelito, you will be missed but I can’t help feeling like this team is going to start playing better without you. I hope that’s true. I do know that I feel lucky that I got to see Manny Ramirez’ final home run as a Red Sox player in person on Monday. So long Manuelito, Red Sox Nation is going to miss you.
While I’m still angry with Manny, noted lush Bob Lobel’s comments that Manny was fined six figures for pushing the team’s traveling secretary appear to have been wrong, and there is no clear evidence that he purposely took those three pitches against the Yankees. I’m not letting him completely off the hook though.
That said, here’s a pretty funny story about him from Seattle last night. From the Seattle Times’ Mariners Blog:
Seems that Boston slugger Manny Ramirez was leaving the ballpark, with headphones on trying to look inconspicuous and quickly get away from the crowds still leaving the stadium. He started to cross South Royal Brougham Way, against the signals of a traffic cop who was directing pedestrians. The police officer demanded that Ramirez open his wallet and show identification. He warned him that he could face a $500 fine and possible arrest for disobeying a police officer.
It became clear to those watching that the policeman had no idea who Ramirez was. He didn’t ask for an autograph or anything, but did ask Ramirez if he’d attended the game. After the brief lecture, and no argument from Ramirez, the police officer let him go with no further trouble.
Manny, who was pinch run for late in the game, apparently didn’t feel like waiting for the team bus and so went off on his own. I especially like that the cop asked Ramirez if he had attended the game and had no idea who he was; I’m sure that the brief lecture from the cop completely reformed Manny and really impacted his life.
17
Jul
08
Sad Day For Baseball
First Alyssa Milano announces that she no longer will be dating baseball players–we’re dating now instead–and now this, Hideo Nomo has announced his retirement. It’s like baseball is losing all the great ones.
For Nomo, this technically marks his second retirement, as in order to become the first Japanese pitcher in the US, he had to “retire” from Japanese baseball, thus using a loophole to leave his contract in Japan and come play for the Dodgers. In his first year in the bigs, Nomo won the Rookie of the Year award, led the league in strikeouts and started the All Star game, striking out 3 of the 6 batters he faced. His second season featured his first of two no-hitters, in pre-humidor Colorado no less!
02
Jul
08
It’s One Series…
I don’t know who exactly this guy is saluting, but I’m glad that Sox fans are staying classy. Sigh. It’s shit like this that’s why everyone hates us.
Dan Duquette is back in the news today, thanks to a Boston Globe story about the former Red Sox GM (and general architecht of the 2004 team.) Apparently Duquette and Pittsfield, MA Mayor James M. Ruberto are being investigated by the Massachusetts State Ethics Commission for Duquette selling two 2004 World Series tickets to the Mayor at face value.
The contention of the commission is that because the tickets were impossible for the general public at the face value cost of $190, when individual seats were going for $2000 or more, Duquette “provided something of substantial value to Ruberto for or because of official acts to be performed by Ruberto as mayor,” according to a statement the commission released.
Duquette admits that he sold the tickets to the Mayor because he wanted to get permission for his minor league baseball team, the Berkshire Dukes, to play at a park owned by the city.
“I believed then and I believe now that by not gifting the Mayor a ticket and instead selling it to him for the price set by Major League Baseball (MLB), I am not in violation of any Massachusetts law, regulation, or ethical norm. Furthermore, there was never any intent, offer, discussion, act or acts, official or unofficial, discussed, implied, mentioned, or required by Jim Ruberto on behalf of my family or any of the businesses in which I am involved in connection with the purchase of this ticket at face value,” Duquette said in a statement. He also went on to mention that MLB rules forbid team officials from selling team tickets at above face value.
Mayor Ruberto’s lawyer, Leonard Cohen said that the sale of the tickets did not impact the decision of the city with regard to the Dukes. He then complained about the multitudes of bad covers of his awesome song, “Hallelujah.”
One important thing to note: the Dukes pay a per-game fee of $300 and an annual payment of $10,000 to the city, more than any other team paid for a home facility last year. So if the Mayor gave preferential treatment to the Dukes and Duquette, he has a strange sense of prefence. It looks to me like if Duquette was looking to bribe the Mayor with these tickets he did it wrong.
26
Jun
08
Tim Wakefield Got a Lot Uglier
Tim Wakefield pitched a gem of a game last night, allowing 2 hits over seven shutout innings but his most impressive accomplishment was undergoing an intensive Face/Off operation immediately after leaving the game, changing identities with Randy Johnson during the 7th inning stretch. I’m going to assume it was done so that Wakefield could go undercover at the national Ugly Man competition while tracking some missing diamonds.
Wow, he really can do it all, first he was an infielder, than he became a very successful knuckleballer and now he’s also an international crime fighter. Awesome!
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