Archive for the 'Random' Category



03
Nov
09

Colbert Steps Up For Speed Skating

colbertIf you missed last night’s Colbert Report, you missed out on the news that Stephen Colbert is using his well-documented power as a leader to rally his audience for the US Olympic Speed Skating team. Facing a dire budget situation after their Dutch sponsor, DSB Bank NV went bankrupt. With the games only a few months away, the speed skating team, which has historically been one of the highest medal-yielding sports for the Americans in the games, faced a $300,000 deficit for its athletes.

On his show last night, Colbert announced that the Colbert Nation will be sponsoring the team and called on his viewers to contribute to the cause. Colbert has also previously asked his viewers to contribute to The Yellow Ribbon Fund, a charity aiding former armed service members and their families to great success and hopes that his sizable audience will follow his urging once more, promising victory for the Americans.

“On their enormous, billboard thighs, it will say, ‘Colbert Nation,'” Colbert said in an interview before Monday’s show. “Be looking for that logo as it comes around the final turn. It will be easy to see because it will be in first place.”

U.S. Speedskating executive director Robert Crowley came onto the Report last night and acknowledged it was a “definitely unconventional arrangement,” but one that should proved beneficial.

“We’re highly optimistic that the country is going to get behind this and get behind the Colbert Nation and support this amazing team,” Crowley said. “I don’t have any idea if it’s going to make $5 or $500,000. I couldn’t tell you.”

I think it’s safe to say that speed skaters will be liberally used on the Report in the next few months which is a win for us all. Although, Colbert admitted there are certain drawbacks about sponsoring a Winter Olympics team:

“It still tragically involves a lot of Canadians. It’s kind of unseemly how many Canadians I’m going to have to be dealing with.”

[ABC News] and to contribute [Colbert Nation]

03
Nov
09

Aerial Bowfishing Down the Mississippi

After massive flooding in the 1990s from the Mississippi overtook some fish farms, a horde of silver carp, a non-native species found their way into the river and are now reeking havoc on the local ecosystem. With no natural predator, the carp have been breeding like crazy and, more problematically, eating the plankton that juvenile native fish would normally eat. Now the native fish are dying out due to a lack of food and the carp are spreading out.

The carp are bony and don’t taste particularly good, they also are full of PCBs and mercury, making them all the less appetizing. They also don’t eat flies and so catching them with a rod and reel is nearly impossible. Besides being a menace to the ecosystem, the carp constantly are jumping out of the water to avoid humans, and in the process can slam into us, causing broken bones, bruising and even concussions.

Chris Brackett has come up with a unique way to curb the population, something he calls aerial bow-fishing. Riding in a 20-foot boat along the river, Brackett notches an arrow and waits for the fish to jump out of the water, as they do, he fires and takes them out.

“For the foreseeable future, there is still an opportunity for virtually unlimited shooting and harvest of Asian carps by bowfishers, in many parts of the invaded range,” said Duane Chapman, a research fisheries biologist for the United States Geological Survey. “Recreational fishers and bowfishers should not feel bad about killing all the Asian carp they want to kill. Every little bit helps.”

While it is illegal to use a gun to fish, there are really no regulations against using a bow.  “The invasives really do present a guilt-free pleasure for those who bowfish,” said Robert Rice of Carpbusters, a group advocating the removal of invasive fish by arrow or hook. “The common carp, silver carp and now-emerging snakeheads provide plenty of quarry for most people in the country.”

Brackett meanwhile has turned his aerial bow-fishing into a semi-lucrative business, taking tours of other bow-enthusiasts out on the water, has filmed a DVD that has sold thousands of copies and has produced a bow-hunting television show.

“Anyone who would give us a hard time does not live where we live,” he said. “I foresee it being a problem for some folks, but they have yet to see the damage they do here [to the local bass population.]”

[New York Times]

02
Nov
09

You Outta Know… Alanis Morissette’s Marathon Time

edward-norton_photo-credit-lou-rouseMarathons attract thousands of insane people, I mean, the race is supposed to be based on a soldier running for 26 miles to tell Athens about their victory over the Persians, but last I checked, we have cell phones now and there is simply no good reason to ever run that far. What makes even less sense is to run that far in New York City where there is a GIANT public transit system. Really, these people should just take the subway, they’d get wherever they’re going easier and without pooping on themselves.

Among the 43,000 participants in Sunday’s NYC Marathon were some people who are far more important than the rest of us, REAL celebrities and not runners. Among the stars who tied up their New Balances and gave it a go were Anthony Edwards (his time was 4:08:20), Alanis Morrissette crossed the finish line in a casual 4:28:45, the late Christopher Reeve’s son Matthew did the race in 4:23:06 but best of all was the finish by Edward Norton. The 40-year-old actor finished the grueling course in a mere 3:48:01, meaning he averaged under 9 minutes a mile, not too shabby at all.

The celebrities were all running for charities, Norton was running for the Massai Wilderness Conservation Trust and joining him in the running were 3 Masai tribesman. After the race Norton wanted to do just one thing,
“I’m going to get a piece of pizza!” he said.

Me, I’d pass out. But then, I’m much more of an athlete.

[People]

02
Nov
09

Some Auto Erotica — Don’t Choke!

Now I’m not much of a car guy, my last car was a Corolla after all, but for those of you out there who are into this sort of thing, here is some incredible hot car porn for you. These are some super-luxury private garages and exotic car collections that’ll make even someone not that into cars drool with envy and desire. If someone would just give me a couple million bucks I could make one of these garages and I promise I’ll take pictures of it for you guys to enjoy as I fill it with sweet rides. The line to give me money forms to the right.

I must say that these all-glass ones where the car is parked in the living room are pretty goddamn sick. Although it is a bit depressing when you see cars living in far far far nicer places than where I get to sleep. There’s a TON more photos at the link below if you’re so inclined to torture yourself with things that most people never get a chance to own.4034307626_ef6577595a_o

[Luxury 4 Play]

29
Oct
09

Almost Hooker Gets Her Own Happy Ending, World Series Tickets

102709_Susan_Finkelstein_01.jpgWho knew that offering to be “creative” in payment (wink, wink) in a Craigslist ad could lead to a happy ending!Suzanne Finkelstein, the married self-described “desperate buxom blonde” who was willing to do anything for World Series tickets received a ton of notoriety after her story surfaced.

Finkelstein insisted that she wasn’t pimping herself out but rather that “I was hoping maybe I could get a cheaper price flirting with him. You know, batting my eyes. It’s not unheard of.”

The local Bensalem Police even thoughtfully “sent out the good-looking, blonde, kind of Marine guy,” she said, once he (according to her) brought up sex in exchange for the tickets she was arrested. The story ends well though because a local radio show and car dealership are giving her free tickets to an upcoming game. I didn’t realize that all I need to do to get free tickets to an event is first get arrested for prostitution. Looks like I WILL be making that Itzhak Perlman concert after all!

[NY Daily News]

28
Oct
09

Nobody Bites My Wife But Me

In June of 2008, while visiting an art gallery in Hingham, MA, Stacey Wakefield, wife of Red Sox knuckleballer Tim was bitten by an English mastiff, Gabriella, that is the pet of the gallery’s owners. Last June ANOTHER woman was bitten by the dog.

With those two incidents in hand, the Hingham Board of Selectman unanimously voted to have that 8-year-old bitch euthanized.

In rendering their decision the Selectman called the gallery owners, Robert and Megan Ullman “irresponsible.” However, the Ullmans insist their bitch isn’t violent and intend to appeal the decision.

I wouldn’t expect much sympathy from another judge, this dog could have injured the WIFE of a PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER, that kind of negligence just can’t be allowed. Next time it could be the girlfriend of a hockey player, and I just WON’T stand for that.

[WBZ]

28
Oct
09

This Seems Like an Opportune Time to Walk Across

My favorite part of this video is how, despite a large man running full-steam directly toward her, Gabriela Szabo, a Hungarian long-distance runner remains completely oblivious and even turns her head the opposite direction right before he rams into her. Hilarious.

[The Big Lead]

27
Oct
09

340 Yards to the Pin? Gimme the M-16 and Stand Back

Recovered RiflesPGA Tour rules maintain that a golfer can carry no more than 14 clubs in his/her bag during a tournament. There isn’t any limit on how many guns you can carry in the bag as well though. This is a lesson that Juan Gibson, a 16-year-old in Palm Beach, Florida and a friend of his learned after Gibson decided to rob his former neighbor’s house and grab the guns he knew to be there. Of course, transporting 13 guns can be a bit onerous, so Gibson and his friend loaded them into two golf club bags as camouflage.

Then, as any normal 16-year-old toting a mini-arsenal of guns would do, they rode the public bus and headed home. Unluckily, a police officer noted the two boys carrying abnormally heavy golf bags and called in backup to investigate. After being stopped by a patrol unit, the boys started fighting the police and then attempted to make a getaway; Gibson was nabbed but his friend managed to get away. The 13 rifles, shotguns and assault rifles were recovered and returned to their owner, who I’m sure needed to have all of them back, because really, a half-dozen assault rifles is just never enough for home defense, you need that full bakers dozen.

[WPTV]

27
Oct
09

Football Field is Going to the Birds

Piper High School Owl on Football FieldIn Sunrise, Florida, the Piper High School football team have been evicted from their field, and forced to move their final two games thanks to the owls. No, that’s not a local gang of toughs, or a rival high school but ACTUAL owls who, under Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission rules are classified as species of special concern. With their habitats threatened, some burrowing owls have made their homes on the 25 and 35-yard lines making it impossible for the football team to get on the field for practice or games.

Piper athletic director Tom Marante, named two of the owls Stan and Gladys and said he saw them Wednesday morning by their burrow. “They were just there staring at us, like asking ‘What are you looking at?’ ”

The Piper team (3-3) are less than psyched about losing their turf and will be forced to play their final games elsewhere, including their Senior Night game and don’t consider themselves fans of the owls.

“They’re small, but I don’t want to get close to them,” said Piper senior cornerback Nevin Lawson.

[Sun-Sentinel]

26
Oct
09

5-Year-Old Body Builder is in Much Better Shape Than You

Guiliano Stroe 1We’ve seen 80-year-old bodybuilders strutting their stuff and that was weird, now at the tender age of 5, Romanian Guiliano Stroe has entered the Guinness Book of Records for his own feats of strength, specifically the “fastest ever 10 m hand-walk with a weight ball between his legs,” done live on television. The six-packed 5-year-old has been going to the gym with his father Iulien since he was two and they work out together.

“He has been going to the gym with me ever since he was born,” Iulien said, “I always took him with me when I went training. I have been training hard all my life myself. He is never allowed to practice on his own, he is only a child and if he gets tired we go and play.”

When he’s not working out Guiliano, the oldest of 4 siblings, likes normal 5-year-old activities like watching cartoons, playing in the  park and painting.

Now, I scored 23 on the How Many 5-Year-Olds Could You Take in a Fight quiz, but if I had to face off against 23 Guiliano’s I think I’d get wrecked.

[Daily Mail]

21
Oct
09

Anvil Shooting is My New Favorite Sport

I wasn’t even aware that such a thing as anvil shooting existed, let alone that someone as awesome as Gay Wilkinson was the world champion. The sport consists, simply enough, of loading some black powder into an anvil, putting another on top and then lighting the fucker and letting the top anvil fly into the air. Gay says that he gets confused queries from women such as “why would you do this?” while men understand and just want to see it get launched. I know you don’t care about anything else I’ll say, here’s the video!

[Gizmodo]

21
Oct
09

I am Not this Smooth

I’d like to be a Cirque du Soleil performer, sure I don’t have anything like the agility, body-control or skills needed to do so, but so what. Here is a rehearsal video from the Cirque’s Dralion show featuring Oli Lemieux and some kick-ass moves on the trampoline.

[Hot Clicks]




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