Archive for the 'Olympics' Category



13
Oct
09

They May Be Old But These Athletes Got Game

Ruth FrithSydney Australia was recently invaded by 28,292 athletes ranging in age from 24-101 to participate in the world’s largest multi-sport event, the World Masters Games. Among the storied competition comes the tale of Ruth Firth, a 100-year-old great-grandmother who took home the gold in shot-putting with the leading toss in her age group.

Her throw went nearly 14 feet making her far and away the leader in the 100-104 age bracket; although to be fair, she was the only competitor. “I only had to turn up to win the medal, but that wasn’t going to be good enough for me,” said Firth. “I had to show everyone that I could still do it.”

Santa ClausWhen a Games official suggested to Firth that her success called for a drink, she replied that she doesn’t smoke or drink, but don’t think she’s some health nut, when asked if it were vegetables that powered her success she responded “Oh goodness no – I haven’t eaten vegetables since I was a kid. I don’t like the taste. Bread, meat, fine, but no vegetables, thank you.” She does however walk every day as well as bench-pressing 80 lbs 5-times a week. Feel lazy yet?

One of the other highlights at the World Masters Games was 90-year-old Olga Kotelka to set a new world-record in shot-put for her age group. Another memorable moment came from the barefooted Australian runner in the men’s age 80-84 100 meter race who goes by the name Santa Claus; Osmo Millridge, another barefooted Australian took charge of the age 70+ men’s  steeplechase.

There was no word on the condom consumption in the athlete’s village…

[Daily Mail]

07
Oct
09

Lolo Jones Takes It All Off for ESPN

Ever since the Beijing Olympics I’ve been a fan of American sprinter and Rashida Jones doppelganger, Lolo Jones. Thankfully ESPN is releasing their much ballyhooed “The Body Issue” edition of the otherwise useless ESPN the Magazine where she is prominently featured. For this issue ESPN photographed various athletes (tastefully) nude and to highlight some of these incredible athletic bodies. I for one am most thankful they included Lolo.

Here is one of the photos they took, click on it to see a slightly more NSFW version complete with butt crack!
Lolo Jones ESPN Nude 2

She seemed down with it all too, saying:

It was pretty cool and the whole shoot was done in a very tasteful and discreet way. The whole premise behind the shoot was not to create sex appeal, but to portray a strong, beautiful, athletic woman and I think we achieved that. I’m not very comfortable in those situations, in fact I’m quite conservative. But the whole crew helped me through any unease, and I felt a lot more contented with the shoot when I thought of it as being just like a drug test.

I can only hope this leads to many similar photos of Ms. Jones and none of fellow Bodies Issue photographee Joba Chamberlain.

[WHO TV and IAAF]

06
Oct
09

The Real Reason Chicago Lost the Olympics

After awarding the 2016 Olympics to Rio, the American media was shocked that the US wasn’t selected; especially after President Obama went to make a personal pitch for the games. According to the International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge, the decision was not made based on money — which would seemingly make it a first.

“If we had thought about how to make a lot of money we would have chosen Chicago,” Rogge said, “Money is not what drives IOC members when it comes to choosing a host city.”

Which is true — if you ignore the bribery scandals of the last few games.

However, I have a theory why the Brazilians were selected over Chicago…

Adriana Lima 9

[Breitbart]

11
Sep
09

That Seems Fast. Was That Fast?

I’m not so much of a runner myself; when I was in college and was regularly streaking it was usually more of a jaunt than a run.

Part of my distaste for running is that I am slower than slow. Like, really slow. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not fast.

Sarah though, Sarah is REALLY fast; but then, she’s a cheetah, she was genetically built that way. Here she is at her home in the Cincinnati Zoo setting a new record for cheetahs by running the 100 meters in a mere 6.13 seconds, besting her nearest (male) cheetah competitor by .06 seconds. By comparison, Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive holds the human record at 9.69 seconds. What a slowpoke!

[Barstool Sports]

17
Aug
09

World Dwarf Games? You Got My Attention

Stretching from July 26th to August 2nd, Belfast, Ireland saw an influx of athletes entering the city. The residents would be forgiven if they didn’t automatically look upon the athletes for their skill, after all, it’s not often that a city sees an influx of hundreds of dwarves all at once.

With hundreds of competitors, from over 20 countries and ranging in age from 2-70, the 5th annual games — held every 4th year in a different locale — were a huge success. Among the events included in the games were track and field stapels like the 10, 20, 40, 60 and 100 meter track races, the tennis ball throw, Frisbee throw, cricket ball throw, shot, discus and javelin. The fun didn’t end at the track though, among the other events there were football, basketball and even that CLASSIC Summer Olympics game, hockey.

Now, I’m not the greatest athlete, but I can at least hold my own in pretty much any game. That said, I think I might get housed by these athletes.

Except the 2 year old, I’d totally CRUSH that kid.

world-dwarf-games-olympics-4

[The Chive and Belfast 2009] H/t Barstool Sports

14
Jul
09

So That’s AN Idea

campbell2A medal hopeful for the 2012 Olympic games in London, New Zealand’s Ben Campbell came up with a unique idea to raise money for his taekwando training, he wants to open a brothel.

“There is no point me going to the Olympics to make up the numbers if I go I want to be a medal contender,” he told a local television station. Campbell, who needs to raise $190,000 over the next two years in order to compete he says may be now barred from the games for his “gentlemen’s club” business venture.

Taekwondo New Zealand’s Secretary General Matt Ransom said that “It may be unlikely that he will be selected because of his involvement.”

Under New Zealand law, he is legally allowed to open a brothel, but that apparently doesn’t matter to his sport’s national governing body.

“This is perfectly legal, so I do not see why I would wreck my chances,” Campbell said, he added that if other people had worthwhile other options he’d listen, but as yet, nothing else had emerged.

I understand, there is simply too much money in running a brothel to pass up. Plus the perks! You know, like going to conventions and getting newsletters and stuff. What did you think I meant?

[CNN]

02
Jun
09

Finally, a Swimmer Starts Talking Sense

stephanie-rice-australian-swimmerJapanese swimming phenom Ryosuke Irie is upset because the international swimming regulatory body FINA has yet to ratify his record-setting 200 meter backstroke performance from last month. FINA is concerned over the bathing suit that he wore and whether or not it unfairly aided his abilities.

“It’s sad everyone keeps talking about the swimsuits. Mentally it was a bit upsetting for me,” Irie said, “My swimming went to pieces and I didn’t want to get in the pool for a while.”

“It would be better if all the swimmers did (wear tiny g-strings) but it would be tough to make them do it,” he told a Reuters reporter.

I for one am ALL in favor of, well, at least the women, wearing g-strings. I think it will add a much needed boost to the sport and capitalize on the brief period of popularity that lasted right after the Summer Olympics and has already faded from consciousness.

I would like to be the first to suggest, obviously, that my favorite swimmer, Stephanie Rice be the first to race in g-strings. Or she can just come over to my apartment in one and work on this new training regimen I’ve come up with…

[Yahoo!]

27
Mar
09

Torch Relays Being Scrapped By IOC

You violate the basic human rights of your citizens for about 60 years and all of a sudden, you’re a bad guy, right China? Thanks to their mishandling of their own citizenry, inspiring all sorts of crazed people going after the Olympic torch to try and make a statement, China has ruined the Olympic Torch run for everyone else. The International Olympic Committee has decided to no longer do worldwide torch relays as they have done since the Athens Games in 2004.

“We have always said the primary focus would be on a domestic torch relay whose main purpose is to excite and inspire the UK in the build-up to the games,” said a London 2012 spokeswoman.

“We planned to take our lead from the IOC and are very happy with this decision as it mirrors what we were intending to do.”

IOC executive director Gilbert Felli said:

After the (2004) relay in Athens, which was the first international relay, we came to the conclusion it was easier for the torch to stay inside the (host) country. There were difficulties with the NOCs (National Olympic Committees), and we also saw the risk with a torch relay going around the world. Beijing had planned an international torch relay and we accepted it. We saw in the debrief that the risk was there and the IOC decided not to do it (again). I think when the torch relay is inside the host country there is more control.

You imprison people for no reason and deprive them of basic human rights and everyone else has to suffer. Way to go China.

[BBC]

26
Feb
09

Phelps’ Image is Bad, Bring in a Sheen!

You might have heard that Michael Phelps was captured in a picture smoking a bong, I recall hearing something about it, but it got mostly ignored by the mainstream media. Well, the aftershocks of that photo continue to reverberate, first he lost his Kellogg’s cereal sponsorship deal and now, he has been taken off three motivational speaking events, presumably because he is no longer inspirational as a one-time pot smoker.

The company organizing the seminars, “Power Within” seems to have conflicted thoughts about the whole thing seeing as Phelps is still on to be a part of an event called “Get Motivated!” He will be appearing via satellite with other luminaries such as Rudy Guiliani, Steve Forbes and Colin Powell.

However, Phelps has been asked to not appear at three other events, 2 in Canada and one at Radio City Music Hall in New York.

Don’t worry though, Phelps, who blazed his way to a record 8 Olympic gold medals this past summer was replaced for the Canadian events with a sober, responsible adult, Martin Sheen. Now, don’t get me wrong, if President Bartlett were to show up THAT is a big coup for the seminar, but Martin Sheen–who has been sober reportedly for about 19 years and is the proud papa of Charlie Sheen who is a womanizing, whore-visiting former addict who has OD’d before–may not be the most obvious about-face.

[CNBC]

12
Feb
09

Got a Light?

Can you believe the Winter Olympics are only a year away? I feel like Beijing just ended and yet, here we are getting ready for the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver. Of course, since weed is tacitly decriminalized, with coffee shops and all in Vancouver, it doesn’t surprise me, but it does delight me, that the new torch for the games looks awfully similar to a joint. Or maybe it’s just me…

Sun1202N Torch1m.jpg

03
Feb
09

OMG, A 23 Year Old Smoked Weed! Everyone Panic!

phelps_516_0102_25518a1

Eager to get his name in the news, fresh off the small-sized hooplah regarding Michael Phelps smoking a bong, Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott announced that he wants to prosecute Phelps despite the police department saying they had no interest in pressing charges.

“This case is no different than any other case,” Lott said Monday. “This one might be a lot easier since we have photographs of someone using drugs and a partial confession. It’s a relatively easy case once we can determine where the crime occurred.”

Great, but um, what’s the pressing issue on this “crime”? Please remind me of the victims who are demanding justice. Also, is it the intention of Lott to arrest everyone smoking weed in the area of the University of South Carolina?

The charges which Lott would most likely be charging Phelps is possession of marijuana, a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 30 days in jail or a $570 fine, plus court costs. Of course, you’d have to prove that he has possession, and I feel fairly certain that the weed in question is no longer available, so it seems like this case would be built on a pretty shaky foundation.

Of course, no one else cares, not the police department, not Phelps’ sponsors, not the University of South Carolina, no one really cares AT ALL except Lott, who seems to be mortally offended that a 23 year old smoked some weed one night in September.

That’s some good police work Leon…

However, the real outrage is that Phelps was using a Roor bong, I mean, sure, German craftmanship is nice, but they are so utilitarian, where’s the artful design, the heady glass marbles and colors? I’ll take a Jerome Baker any day over a boring old Roor.

[The State]

30
Jan
09

Brazil Curls Their Way to the Top

When I think of Brazil I think of her to the left ,or this, but what I don’t think of is their prowess at the Winter Olympics. In fact, in the history of the Winter Olympics no South American country has EVER won a medal, but Brazil won’t let that hold them down as they attempt to field their first ever curling team.

For the upcoming 2009 World Championships all of the Americas are limited to two spots. Canada, as host and returning champion are guaranteed a spot and so, Brazil has challenged the US to a best of 5 match to determine the remaining slot.

The four men who comprise the Brazilian team have been training in Canada had never played the game before they showed up for lessons. Their first coach, Judy Cassidy was surprised when the men showed up at her door in 2006 for lessons, especially since they had little to no knowledge of the game. In fact, the four men had never even MET one another before showing up for training. The men, who knew each other only through internet message boards were in Canada, three of them pursuing Masters degrees and the other working as a graphic designer had seen a competition on television and decided the sport was for them.

“At the time we were looking for a winter sport because we were newcomers in Canada,” team captain Mello said. “We didn’t know about the rules, we became passionate, I would say addicted, for curling.”

3 years later and the Brazilians are challenging the Americans for the remaining spot today in sunny North Dakota although no one, including the Brazilians, expect them to beat the American team. Their own coach Cassidy said, “In light of the time they’ve been curling, they’re very good. But when you have somebody who’s been curling for a year against a team that’s very experienced, it’s going to show.”

For Mello, the outcome is not very important. “We are not really thinking much about that,” he said. “What we really want is to help introduce Brazil in the curling world.”

[IHT]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

December 2025
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Categories