Archive for the 'Boston' Category



09
Jun
09

Yankees Fan Smuggles Grass into Phish Show

fenway_seedsA week ago I took to the friendly confines of Fenway for the beginning of the Phish summer tour; I was there in the spirit of fun and to enjoy myself, some in the crowd had ulterior motives. Ian Ferris, 30, of Shelburne, Vermont, a manager of a Hooters in Vermont came to the concert and smuggled in some grass.

Unlike the other 40,000+ people who were at the concert and smuggled in their own grass, Ferris’ was of an evil nature. While everyone else was lighting up and smoking theirs, Ferris was maliciously tossing seeds from his bag of Yankees grass (available for purchase at the stadium and online), onto the blocked off infield grass all in an attempt to counterbalance the effects of the once-buried David Ortiz jersey in the new Yankee Stadium.

“This is payback. If even one blade of grass sprouts on the field, I feel it was a success,” he said.

Gino Castignoli, the construction worker who planted the uniform in the first place though is unimpressed.

“My curse is working,” he said. “It’s typical of a Yankee fan to think you can buy a jinx in a bag. When will they learn, you don’t win with your wallet but with your heart?”

How dare Ferris come into Fenway for a light-hearted affair like Phish and taint it. The concert had NOTHING to do with Red Sox/Yankees, it’s like chanting “Yankees Suck” at a bar mitzvah, it’s just unnecessary. Also, anyone from Vermont who is a Yankees fan is a douchenozzle of the utmost and most likely a bandwagon loser fan. Just saying…

[NY Post]

08
Jun
09

I Thought Center Field was a Glamour Position

During yesterday’s Sox/Rangers tilt, after making a phenomenal catch, Jacoby Ellsbury reinjured the shoulder he tweaked earlier in the game, forcing him to have to come out. With the return of Mark Kotsay to the Sox bench, there are now two center field options, him and Rocco Baldelli and it seems neither was particularly excited to play center. The two men squared off in the oldest of baseball traditions, deciding who plays where via Rocks-Paper-Scissors. Baldelli wins and gets to play right.

I like that Tito allowed this, after all, what’s the difference? Both men play the position solidly and no one else was available with JD Drew having received a cortisone shot earlier in the day. No reason to make it a big deal. I like it!

[Sox & Dawgs]


04
Jun
09

“I Ate Some Mushrooms and Bugged Out”

jereme1Boston-born professional skater Jereme Rogers was taken to the UCLA Medical center near his home for 72 hours of observation earlier this week after taking to his roof, preaching naked to his neighbors all caused when he “ate some mushrooms and bugged out.”

Rogers, 24, who dropped out of high school to become a professional skater is extremely religious, featuring a number of tattoos with religious connotations.

On Monday at about 6:40 in the morning Rogers climbed the 20-30 feet to his roof, pulled off his boxers and started yelling and screaming. “It obviously was not an everyday experience. It was a very out-of-body experience. I’ve never had an experience like that. It was obviously something I shouldn’t have done,” Rogers told a local reporter as he rolled a marijuana joint in his bedroom. “It was just something that happened.”

Police lieutenant Jim Acquarelli was one of the officers who arrived on scene and reported that “[Rogers] would have fragmented, interrupted conversations with people that weren’t there. He never lost his balance. The potential was there for it. If he had taken a few negligible steps to the right, that would have impeded his balance and would have led to his demise.”

Rogers though felt much more confident in his balancing abilities, “I literally was walking on the edge,” he said. “[The neighbors] said my balance was amazing.”

Ultimately, Acquarelli, a former Catholic school teacher talked Rogers off the roof by speaking about spirituality with him. Rogers, who won the TransWorlds Rookie of the Year award in 2006 was taken to the hospital for observation but as of this time no charges have been filed.

As for the joint he was rolling, Rogers said that it is well known amongst his fans that he smokes, “Yeah, I’m rolling weed,” he said. “I have a medical card. I’m a weed smoker.”

[Daily Breeze]

02
Jun
09

The Worst Hat in America

It’s bad enough to go to a sports stadium like Fenway Park and see loads of pink hats fans — both literally and figuratively — around, but this latest hat offering from the Boston Red Sox is simply abysmal. I don’t care that this is being marketed for kids, it’s absolutely terrible.

Introducing, the one item that all of America has been clamoring for, a pink Red Sox hat that has scratch and sniff parts that smell like watermelon.

At last!

pMLB2-5240073dt

This is the worst.

[MLB via Boston Dirt Dogs]

29
May
09

This Job May Kill Francona

d168c9914e_francona_0212I’ve always been a big fan of Terry Francona, unlike the morons who refer to him as “Francoma,” he’s by far the best manager the team has had in my lifetime, and not just because of the championships. Deftly handling the media hordes of Boston, the oversized personalities and egos on the team and in the process putting together 5 successful seasons and 4 playoff berths is an incredible job. During this past offseason Francona was supposed to undergo surgery to help alleviate some constant pain he’d been enduring, there were times he said when half his body would go completely numb. Suffering from a number of different ailments, Francona is not in great condition, suffering blood clots, chest tightening and infections in the last few years and so it was with great trepidation I saw that after yesterday’s game against the Twins and Francona’s ejection, that he was visited by EMTs in the clubhouse.

According to the Boston Herald:

A parade of EMTs – one wielding a stretcher and other emergency equipment – entered the clubhouse as players and coaches readied to leave. Two members of the team’s medical staff stood outside the sealed-off trainer’s room and directed players elsewhere as the EMTs examined Francona.

“I’m fine,” Francona said later as he walked to the team bus, “I just got a little worked up and my blood pressure shot up. But I’m fine. They take good care of me.”

I hope so Tito, stay well. You may well be the glue that keeps this team from cracking apart.

[Boston Herald]

26
May
09

Some Thoughts on David Ortiz

Loyal reader Youppi rightfully pointed out to me that for all my (in my opinion rightful) hammering on the Mets, and in particular Carlos Delgado who I insisted was D-U-N done at this time last season that I have been giving the Red Sox and one David Ortiz a free ride.

Very fair. After the jump, here are some of my disjointed thoughts.

Continue reading ‘Some Thoughts on David Ortiz’

18
May
09

She Can Captain My Vessel

Leg Seven (to Galway, Ireland) of the Volvo Ocean Race began over the weekend; the 70.5 foot long, 11 man crewed tall ships took back to the sea from Boston Harbor for the next segment of the 37,000 nautical mile race due to end in St. Petersburg in June. Among the teeming crowds on hand to support the ships were French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault and his new wife, Salma Hayek. Aboard the Il Mostro, the representative of the Puma Ocean Racing Team in the race, Salma and her hubby took a spin at the wheel, and hopefully will bring the vessel some good luck.

“Salma christened Il Mostro in Boston Harbor a year ago to the day,” skipper Ken Read said, “It’s great to have our boat’s godmother with us as we leave Boston and I hope she’ll bring us good luck in this leg.”

If you want to see some more photos of these totally awesome ships, check out this excellent hi-res gallery here.

full_salma_hayek_02_wenn5296897

18
May
09

One Shining Moment

I didn’t expect the Celtics to be able to get past the Cavaliers in the conference finals, but I felt pretty sure they’d at least get there. I also wanted to see whether or not Kevin Garnett would actually play in the series, I still say he would have. Out of the miserable loss last night there were few highlights, but I do like this dunk by Rondo, it features everything you could want, a great pass out of trouble, a streaking Rondo and a magnificent finish over Dwight Howard. Solid!

15
May
09

He Did What?

pedroiafireNow I’m the last person to be criticizing people about grammar, but then I’m not a professional journalist-type. When I read this sentence from MLB.com’s recap of yesterday’s frustrating Red Sox loss against the Angels I, for one, find it a bit confusing:

“Pedroia, who had caught fire before the injury, was glad the momentum seemed to carry over.”

Uh. What? I thought Pedroia’s injury was to his groin, did someone light his groin on fire? I’m confused. How was this not more reported, last year’s MVP catches FIRE and NO one talks about it? That seems strange. However, it’s impressive that he bounced back so quickly…

[MLB]

15
May
09

UGH

Yesterday was a terrible day to be a Boston sports fan. I’m most upset about the Bruins, not only did they lose game 7, but they lost it in sudden-death overtime to Scott Walker who had delivered an awful cheap shot to Aaron Ward and should have been suspended for game 6. I really thought this was the Bruins’ year. I should have known better. This is what they do. This is why I stopped caring about hockey for so long; rooting for the Bruins is like being a Cubs fan.

14
May
09

Let’s Go BRUINS!

[Barstool Sport]

14
May
09

Fenway Not Being So Friendly

Brian Rossi (left) used to be a middle school gym teacher in Worcester, MA until he got arrested for possessing child pornography; apparently that makes his job something of a problem. He’s currently under house arrest and wears an electronic tracking monitor at all times. Rossi was only allowed to leave the house for court-approved medical or legal appointments but the federal magistrate recently loosened some of the restrictions. At the hearing, Rossi asked the judge for permission to attend 13 Red Sox games with friends and family, saying he had purchased the tickets before his arrest; his request was denied.

You know what that means…his friends and family have an extra! Hey, CALL ME! I want to go to the game and am in no way a pederast!

[WLBZ 2]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

February 2026
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
232425262728  

Categories