Archive for the 'Baseball' Category



11
Feb
09

So That’s Why They Always Go in the Clubhouse!

Sure the big former Mets player news today is the revelation that Roberto Alomar has AIDS, was raped as a teenager and is now being sued, and while that story is interesting and crazy, I’m not here to talk about it right now. Instead, I wanted to point out some of the information excerpted from Darryl Strawberry’s upcoming April tome. For example, to highlight the partying ways of the 80s Mets, he (or more accurately, his ghostwriter) says that “We were the boys of summer. The drunk, speed-freak, sneaking-a-smoke boys of summer. [An] infamous rolling frat party . . . drinking, drugs, fights, gambling, groupies.”

For the Mets, beer “was the foundation of our alcoholic lifestyle. We hauled around more Bud than the Clydesdales. The beer was just to get the party started and maybe take the edge off the speed and coke.” Ah the good ol’ days.

The most difficult part of being a Met then was that you had to go out and “tear up your best bars and nightclubs and take your finest women . . . The only hard part for us was choosing which hottie to take back to your hotel room. Lots of times you . . . picked two or three.”

The action with the ladies wasn’t limited to just on the field though, Strawberry talks about how team members picked out girls from the stands for quickies. He once watched a pitcher take an extra friendly fan to a private room for oral sex: “I was jealous. When I saw her heading back to her seat, I gave her a sign. She smiled, turned right back around, and met me in that same little room . . . I had to be quick and run back out on the field.” Talk about sloppy seconds right! Also, I don’t know if I should be impressed with her technique that she was able to quick enough, or disappointed in Darryl for not having better stamina, after all, he was a highly conditioned athlete…

That’s not all the fun being held, often during the games. Another incident happened when “I was in the clubhouse, having one last quickie with this cute little Florida girl. Charlie Samuels, the equipment manager, came in and caught us. He just stood there shaking his head while I finished up.” That’s great, but um, Charlie, what are you doing STANDING THERE WATCHING DARRYL GET HIS GROOVE ON. C’mon Chaz, give the guy a little room and privacy right? Sure there’s a game going on but Darryl’s gotta bust a nut first, I think we can all respect that…

[NY Post]

11
Feb
09

How Long Does it Take to Destroy Shea?

Seriously, they have been taking down Shea for MONTHS, this place was a dump, how hard is it to swing a wrecking ball? Get it done!

10
Feb
09

Ichiro Wants a Cy Young Too

Ichiro Suzuki is a man of many talents, we’ve seen his rifle arm, his prodigious on-base ability, his profanity-laced inspirational speeches and in the WBC, we might just see Ichiro the pitcher. In 1996, during the Japanese league All-Star game, Ichiro came in to pitch, originally to Hideki Matsui but they took Matsui out and put a pinch hitter in instead; Ichiro came in throwing gas, hitting 90 mph on his first warm-up pitch!

Now, Japan’s WBC manager, Tatsunori Hara has hinted that he might use Ichiro in an emergency situation in the late innings if necessary. Skipping batting practice, Ichiro took to the hill, throwing 56 pitches, mixing in fastballs and forkballs, supposedly his fastest pitch hit 92 mph on the gun, although, ever the perfectionist, Ichiro said he wants to throw even a bit faster. I just hope now that one of Japan’s games goes late so we get a chance to see this, because frankly, it’d be dope.

[NPB Tracker]

09
Feb
09

Alfonzo Makes Return to Baseball

Here’s a news story special for loyal reader Youppi:

The Yomiuri Giants of Japan’s Central League have signed former major league infielder Edgardo Alfonzo to a one-year contract worth $380,000.

The Giants signed the 35-year-old Venezuelan after giving him a tryout at their spring training camp.

“It’s an honor to become a member of the Giants and I’ll play my hardest to contribute to the team,” Alfonzo said Monday.

Alfonzo has 1,532 hits and a .284 batting average over 12 seasons in the major leagues, mostly with the New York Mets with later spells with the San Francisco Giants, Los Angeles Angels and Toronto Blue Jays.

His last season in the majors was 2006 when he had 11 hits and five RBIs in 30 games with the Angels and Blue Jays.

Since leaving the majors, he had played in Mexico and in the independent Atlantic League.

I have nothing to add…

…except that this cover is hilarious.

07
Feb
09

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

According to 4 independent sources, Sports Illustrated is reporting that, in 2003, prior to winning the first of his 3 MVP awards and hitting 47 home runs, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for two different steroids. A-Rod was one of the 104 players who tested positive during that first round of testing, thus leading to the league’s current random drug testing process. Reportedly, Gene Orza, COO of the Players Association who is already in trouble for tipping a player off to an upcoming drug test also tipped A-Rod off to a test in 2004. The test results revealed that A-Rod had testosterone and Primobolan–a steroid that helps maintain lean muscle without adding too much bulk–in his system. Also Primobolan is preferred by many athletes because it doesn’t remain in the system as long as the Deca-Durabolin previously favored by athletes such as Jose Canseco.

WOW

WOW

WOW

WOW

I can’t decide if this is bigger than Bonds or Clemens, but it certainly ain’t good for baseball, A-Rod or the Yankees. Methinks that the best individual player in the game ever having his name involved in steroids, in any manner is damning and damaging. It’s not as though A-Rod has signed the two biggest contracts in the history of sports, or that he has millions of dollars in endorsement deals supposed to come his way. Or that he was supposed to be the savior of baseball’s home run record after Bonds tainted it up with his backne and butt needles. This is going to be a SHIT-STORM if it is true, and I don’t see why SI would have 4 independent sources that are lying to them. What’s worse, is that MLB knew that A-Rod had tested dirty and have been still holding him up as a beacon of purity. This is going to get ugly.

Also, this makes me happy because, you know, fuck A-Rod.

[Sports Illustrated]

06
Feb
09

Another Example Why the Padres are Pathetic

of9ozoknMatt Bush was the first pick of the 2004 MLB amateur draft, he was a touted shortstop although was not considered the top prospect in the draft. Of course, expert scouts that the Padres are, that obviously led them to taking him with the first pick in the entire draft. A few years in the minors proving that he was unable to play in the field or hit a ball thrown towards him, Bush converted to being a pitcher. That didn’t go so well either. Yesterday the Padres released Bush who has undergone Tommy John surgery and has never advanced higher than High A ball.

The next player picked in the draft was Justin Verlander, who despite a down year last year has a no-hitter on his resume and is still considered one of the top young starters in the league. Among the other players the Padres could have drafted include Dustin Pedroia (2nd round), Huston Street (supplemental round), Stephen Drew (1st round), Yovani Gallardo (2nd round) or Hunter Pence (2nd round). But sure, wasting the number one overall pick is another strong strategy…

Oh yeah, and the reason the Padres are releasing Bush at long last? They signed Cliff Floyd. Yikes!

05
Feb
09

Sandy, Sandy Baby

Yesterday a list with the 13,000 names of Bernie Madoff’s victims was released and there were some very interesting names on the list. For example, how Madoff could bilk Sandy Koufax out of his money is simply astonishing, he’s Sandy KOUFAX! How dare you Bernie. Sure, you cheat a bunch of other rich people, no big deal, but Sandy is the greatest Jewish baseball player ever, and you tried to ruin him! For shame.

Koufax it turns out went to high school with Mets owner Fred Wilpon who had millions of dollars invested with Madoff as well, so presumably we can also blame the Wilpons for hurting Koufax. Among the victims was also former Mets “star” Tim Teufel, currently the manager of the Mets’ entry in the Florida State League. How DARE you Madoff?

The Wilpons were heavily invested with Madoff, with Fred, Jeff, Jeff’s wife, Jeff’s sister, Jeff’s brother in law, multiple charity organizations, two Brooklyn Cyclones entities and various other Mets related businesses all losing millions of dollars. So that’s why there isn’t any money left in the budget for Manny…

As a Jew I’m ashamed with Bernie Madoff. Sure, taking $50 BILLION is bad, but I think we can all understand it, but to rob from SANDY KOUFAX!!!!?!?!?! Unacceptable. Madoff knew it was a scam, why didn’t he tell Sandy to invest elsewhere, it’s one thing to rob from fellow Jews, it’s quite another to rob from Sandy Koufax, and that is something I will never forgive.

[MSNBC]

04
Feb
09

Behind the Scenes at MLB Network

This past Monday, loyal reader and regular Slanchreport commenter Youppi got to visit the sets of the brand new MLB network in Secaucus, NJ as part of his job. In fact, when you watch the MLB network and see the big photos of players floating on screens in the background behind the main desk, Youppi picked them out. So, yeah, I got friends in high places.

04
Feb
09

This Ripken Ain’t Tacky

With the economy in the tank, everyone in America has a bit more (or too much) free time. For example, here is a guy who took 10,115 thumbtacks and made an incredibly realistic portrait of Cal Ripken. The overall project took 30 hours and all those thumbtacks cost $400, I’d say it was well worth it. Enjoy!

[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t0Dk9ilplQ]

[Home Run Derby]

30
Jan
09

WBC To Not Resemble Baseball

In an attempt to ensure that the World Baseball Classic is truly irrelevant, Major League Baseball has decided to implement the completely non-sensical international extra-innings rules that were adopted before the Olympics.

If a game reaches the 13th inning, each half-inning will start with runners on first and second, although the batting order will remain the same. In the international version, the teams could choose what hitters they wanted to have at-bat to start the inning.

In order to make an even larger mockery of these games, MLB hasn’t decided whether the rules will be in place for the championship game, because having multiple sets of rules for the same games makes perfect sense.

Among the other non-real baseball rules being used include pitch limits. There will be a limit of 70 pitches per pitcher in the first round, 85 in the second, and 100 in the semifinals and final. This is lame, but I’d rather that than seeing my entire fantasy team getting screwed because Kris Benson threw 120 pitches. Also, Kris Benson is my key to victory this year.

[ESPN]

29
Jan
09

Manny Gets a Two Year Offer!

The Worcester Tornadoes of the Can-Am Baseball league have officially offered Manny Ramirez a 2 year contract and are awaiting word from Scott Boras as to if Manny’ll accept it or not.

“I feel Manny would really enjoy playing in Worcester and hitting in our ballpark. Although I would be concerned about the cars traveling on I-290 during his at bats, it’s a risk worth taking,” said General Manager, Jorg Bassiacos.

Everything is in place for the Tornadoes to handle the circus that Manny attracts, manager Rich Gedman, a long-time major leaguer himself is well used to the media crush and should be helpful to Manny. Not only that, playing in Worcester would bring Manny back to the Massachusetts area so he can reunite with the fans he alienated when he forced his way off the Red Sox. The offer, 2 years for $24,000, is the highest offer possible with the salary-cap structure of the Can-Am league and would place Manny in the upper echelon of salaries with other veterans in the league.

I think this is the mystery team Boras always talks about!

[MLN Sports]

29
Jan
09

Roger Clemens’ Balls of Fury

So everyone is harping on Joe Torre’s book and that Yankee players called Alex Rodriguez, A-Fraud to which I have only this to say, “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRING.” However, lost amid the hubbub was this bit of reporting that Tom Verducci, Torre’s co-writer, dug up about Roger Clemens.

It seems that Clemens’ had quite the pre-game ritual. For example, before game 2 of the 2000 World Series, Clemens would get into the hot tub at the hottest temperature possible, coming out looking like a lobster. Then it gets weird.

Then [Yankees trainer Steve] Donahue would rub the hottest possible liniment on his testicles.

“He’d start snorting like a bull,” the trainer said. “That’s when he was ready to pitch.”

Uh.

Um…

Roge, you made another man rub liniment on your balls before you pitched? No wonder he was so pumped for the game. It wasn’t steroids it was just his testicles being on fire!

I’m actually just impressed that the trainer was able to FIND Clemens’ tiny balls enough to rub ointment on them in the first place.

I have to imagine that the first time Clemens approached the trainer asking him to rub ben-gay on Clemens’ balls was quite the banner moment for that trainer…

[Fan IQ]




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