The internet was abuzz a few weeks ago with the 4,800 calorie burger due to be offered by the West Michigan Whitecaps minor league baseball team and now a vegan advocacy group is trying to get in on the action.
The 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips — all on an 8-inch bun looks, sounds and most likely is absolutely delicious, if also terrifyingly nauseating.
Susan Levin, a staff dietitian for the Washington-based Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, disagrees, and so she sent a letter to the Grand Rapids minor-league team on Tuesday asking that the 4,800-calorie burger be labeled a “dietary disaster” that increases the risk of cancer and heart disease.
Um, no shit! Do these vegans think that anyone looking at that burger would believe that it was healthy or good for you in any possible way? For chrissakes, it weighs 4 pounds! I mean, look at the thing, it screams out “HEART ATTACK,” but if you’re too retarded to know that in the first place do you really think a warning is going to make any difference. I don’t think anyone is at the food stand deciding between a hot dog or this monstrosity and then comparing calories. If you’re gonna order this behemoth, you know it walking in the gates. But of course, the vegans are too busy thinking they’re better than everyone else and so are trying to make news with this story. I’d like a warning to be attached to all vegan food from now on, “Warning: eating this does not equal eating real food and is likely to make you a sanctimonious asshole that no one wants to be around. Also, we make the fake meats look like real meat because you know you’d rather eat the deliciousness that is real food instead.”
The team has no intention of removing the item or putting a warning on.
[MSNBC]
“It was a gut-wrencher,” said manager Jim Leyland, who stayed up late thinking about the decision to release a likely Hall of Famer. “It’s not good when you light up two Marlboro’s at the same time at 3 a.m., washing it down with a glass of chocolate milk.
When Joba Chamberlain finally has his day in court for his DUI arrest later today, he should feel much more confident regarding the outcome thanks to the man at his side. That’s because Joba’s attorney, Randy Paragas just got arrested with his OWN DUI, so he should be well-versed in the court procedures. I can also understand why Joba chose Paragas as his attorney, since Paragas drives a 1998 red Corvette with license plates that read “NOTGLTY”, I’m no expert, but if MY attorney had those license plates I know I’d feel secure. I don’t know how you could get any other attorney who doesn’t promote “not guilty” pleas via their car. Paragas’ arrest had no bearing on Joba’s case, other than explaining the delay in Joba’s case being heard by a judge. Don’t fret though Yankees fans, both Paragas and Chamberlain got off easy.
Gary Sheffield possessed the quickest wrists in baseball for a fair period of time. When the Tigers acquired him to fill their DH hole I thought it was a great move, even the extension they signed him to seemed reasonable. Unfortunately his time with the Tiggers is over, they cut ties with him today, granting him his unconditional release. Even MORE unfortunately for Sheffield, he remains stuck at 499 HRs. Even though his bat has noticeably slowed, he doesn’t have the health to play the outfield on a regular basis and he’s never been a model teammate, I imagine SOMEONE will pick him up at some point. Maybe a team like the Royals or the Twins could use a decent bat off the bench in a part-time role. As much as I’ve disliked Sheffield over the years I’ve always respected his abilities and been scared of him during important at-bats. Also, I’m simply overwhelmed by the fact that Sheffield came up as a SHORTSTOP before shifting to third, before eventually becoming an outfielder. I find that awesome. So, bonne chance M. Sheffield, I hope you get that 500th home run and then go away.
Finally!
Prior to moving into their new digs at Citi Field, the New York Mets let St. Johns University and Georgetown get in a game to test out the stadium. Former St. Johns and Mets player John Franco was on hand to throw out the first pitch before a crowd of 22,397 who came out despite the wet and chilly afternoon.
The Slanch Report 
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