Archive for the 'Awesome' Category



17
Apr
09

Show Me State Says Keep Your Ballots Secret

HKO-U20-RUSSIA/USA HOCKEY TOPIXSt. Louis Blues rookie TJ Oshie has made many fans this season, but one fan may have landed in trouble thanks to a cell-phone photo.

During the mayoral elections for O’Fallon, Missouri, a voter put Oshie’s name on the ballot as a write-in candidate. A waste of a vote perhaps, but not illegal. Unfortunately, the voter then took a photo of the ballot and posted it on the internet, which, since it’s illegal to share the contents of a completed ballot means the voter is in trouble.

“[The voter] violated the law, and I’m going to prosecute,” elections director Rich A. Chrismer told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. “They may have thought the photo was cute, but it was very serious.”

“You can’t violate something as sacred as the ballot,” Chrismer said. “People won’t trust going to a polling place if they think somebody is walking around with a camera.”

If convicted the voter could face a year in jail and a US$2,500 fine.

[National Post]

17
Apr
09

It’s Playoffs BEARD Time!

First off, I love the playoffs beard, I think it’s the best tradition in hockey.

Last night the Bruins started their quest for the Stanley Cup with a thrilling victory over the Montreal Canadiens. Here is Bruins phenom Phil Kessel scoring an empty-netter and then a fun brawl breaking out. Pay close attention though to the fan in the white t-shirt behind the glass; as the fight keeps breaking out, the Canadiens’ Alexei Kovalev’s stick comes through the glass and the fan tries to steal it. The look on Kovalev’s face is priceless. Awesome.

Also, if you are a Bruins fan, you have to love this team. Kessel, Blake Wheeler, and my main man Milan Lucic comprise a core that is dopecity, Chara is the best defenseman in the league right now and Thomas should win the Vezina. Go BRUINS!

17
Apr
09

Puuuuuuuullllll!

The presumptive #1 pick in next weekend’s NFL draft, Matthew Stafford stopped by the set of Jimmy Fallon’s new late night skein and helped solidify his status. Now, I still believe the Lions should have traded for Matt Cassel, and given the Patriots better draft selections than the Chiefs, but based on Stafford’s abilities in Skeet Football, he may not be such a bad option…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

15
Apr
09

Bellamy Gets Elected to Rock ‘N’ Jock Basketball HoF

The Onion is always good, but sometimes they just knock it out of the park, like in this article from which I will quote liberally. Read the whole article because it is absolutely fabulous and makes me happy in every way.

LOS ANGELES—In what many agreed was perhaps the surest bet in all of sports, former Violators player, coach, and all-around legend Bill Bellamy was elected to the Rock ‘N’ Jock Basketball Hall of Fame Tuesday.

Bellamy, who was the first player ever to receive 100 percent of the vote, leads a 2009 Hall of Fame class that includes former Blossom star Joey Lawrence, Mark Curry, and Shawn Kemp, as well as Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, chosen for their legendary 1991 halftime performance of “Good Vibrations.”

Coolio and Isaiah Rider were also selected by the Rock ‘N’ Jock Veterans Committee, which consists of Kenny Lofton and Boyz II Men.

Former Bricklayer Dean Cain, who received only 5 percent of the vote, was snubbed for the eighth consecutive year and is no longer eligible for induction.

“This is a tremendous honor and one that I do not take for granted,” Bellamy told reporters, adding that while he had known his place in the Hall was virtually secure, he had spent the week nervously awaiting the call from Hall of Fame chairman and Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea. “When I heard Flea’s voice telling me I’d made it, tears came to my eyes. I was just overwhelmed with memories of putting on that Violator uniform and lavalier microphone and seeing the 25-point basket lowered for the first time.”

“I am very humbled,” Bellamy added. “I owe this to all the people I had the opportunity to play with and against, including [current Hall of Famers] Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Queen Latifah, and, of course, Dan [Cortese]. Thank you. Thank you all so much.”

“Now I have to get going. I’m hosting a new reality television show where white guys date black women. It’s funny.”

[The Onion]

15
Apr
09

He’s Unstoppable!

patrick-schusterWant to know when you’re ready to move on to the next level of competition, how about when you throw three STRAIGHT no-hitters; that’s what Patrick Schuster of Mitchell High School in Florida just accomplished.

“He’s on a roll and he’s got confidence in every pitch he’s throwing right now,” Mitchell head coach Scot Wilcox said of his ace. “That’s why we’re seeing so much success out of him.”

In addition to the no-hitter, in his last start the University of Florida-bound senior added in 16 strikeouts and only allowed 3 baserunners, one a hit batsman and two on errors. As if that wasn’t enough, Schuster also spun another no-hitter in the beginning of the season. Over his three consecutive no-nos Schuster has 43 Ks and through the 48 innings he’s thrown this season he has allowed a grand total of 9(!) hits total. A number of pro scouts were in attendance for Schuster’s latest gem, although I’m not clear where he ranks in terms of the draft prospects this year.

Schuster will vie for his 4th straight no-hitter on Monday.

[Sun Coast Pasco]

15
Apr
09

I Can’t Do That

You know what’s awesome about a good bicycle kick? Everything.

14
Apr
09

Now THAT’S a Brawl

Vodpod videos no longer available.

When a brawl breaks out at a rugby match is it really that different from a normal game? I guess so, because 8 minutes into a game between Dinamo Bucaresti and Farul Constata of the Romanian Rugby League a full on brawl broke out. 9 players were eventually taken to the hospital, also 9 players (possibly the same ones) were banned from the Romanian Rugby League for their participation in the fight with the league saying it “condemned the players for conduct devoid of fair-play.”

And now, for fun, the fight in slow-motion.

[Fan IQ]

14
Apr
09

Glory Days Well They’ll Pass You By

Since 1905, Easton High in Pennsylvania and Phillipsburg High in New Jersey have played football against one another. One of the oldest high school rivalries in the country, the two high schools, separated only by the Delaware River, have one score to settle, the 1993 Thanksgiving game that ended in a tie. As part of a documentary sponsored by Gatorade, the 1993 teams are returning to play another game to finally settle the score. Overtime didn’t exist for the schools then, and so both were left with a sour taste in their mouths.

784423Now, 30 players from both teams, all in their 30s now, began meeting about a month ago to start training for the game to be held on April 26th. The weekly practices are also in conjunction with special training sessions from Velocity Sports Performance to help the players get in as close to game shape as possible.

“I wasn’t sure what kind of mind-set the players were going to bring – is it just kind of fun? – but it’s Easton-Phillipsburg no matter your age,” former Phillipsburg coach Bruce Smith said who will return to the sidelines for the game. “The mind-set is, we are in it to win. It’s never just about fun with this game.”

In 1993, Easton came into the game riding high with an 11-1 record, the 4-5 Stateliners from Phillipsburg though put up a fight and kept shutting down the Easton offense. After making two dramatic goal-line stands, the Stateliners blocked a field goal attempt leading to the unsatisfying tie.

“I just remember the empty feeling we left the stadium with,” Steve Shiffert, then, and current head coach of Easton said. “We didn’t know how to act because there was such buildup for the game, and they couldn’t even give out the trophy.”

Now the players are hard at work in an effort to get into shape for the game, a difficult task considering many have been away from the gridiron for nearly 15 years.

784424“It was good to put the pads back on but the soreness afterward was rough,” Darren Smith, a sophomore on the 1993 Easton team said. “You knew it was a different kind of getting back into shape, and you knew you had a lot of work to do. We just don’t recover like we used to. We don’t want to look like a bunch of old guys. We want to come out and look like we can play football. We are 30-year-old men, but we aren’t over the hill yet. We are working hard so we can come out and put a show on.”

Some of the key skill players from both teams are missing, but that hasn’t dampened enthusiasm, “We’re doing some shuffling,” Smith said. “You can’t go into a game like this and expect people to play a position they played 15 years ago.”

Although the score won’t change in the record books, for the players this is their shot at redemption. “Some people say you are crazy, some say it’s great, but it’s a good opportunity,” coach Smith said. “It’s neat renewing relationships with players you had 15 years ago and are 30 now and have families of their own. It makes this game unique.”

[High School Rivals]

14
Apr
09

I Dislike Your Officiating

Comercial coach Pedro Santilli of the Brazilian second division had seen enough during the Sao Paolo Championship game against Catanduvense. Frustrated with the way the game was going, when the ball went out-of-bounds by him, he picked it up, and when a Catanduvense player came to make a throw-in, Santilla threw an elbow into his chest. Now, I don’t want to say that the player is a wuss and was faking it, but when an elderly man bumps you, you shouldn’t be knocked to the ground like Tyson just knocked you out…Santilli wasn’t done though, he walks onto the field, yelling at the ref and gives the ref an uppercut before being sent off and leaving the field. Comercial ended up losing the game and were relegated to the third division.

13
Apr
09

Birdies Make Me Grabby

During his pursuit of the top of the leaderboard at the Master’s yesterday, a hard-charging man-boobed Phil Mickelson seemed poised to maybe pull off a great upset. After shooting a robust 30 on the front nine, Phil came awfully close to wearing the green jacket once more. The fans in the galleries were right there with Phil, living and dying on every shot; some fans even found themselves getting excited by the play in front of them. Take for instance, this man who amidst the excitement of Mickelson’s birdie on 15 went for a boob grab. His wife/girlfriend/whatever wasn’t too upset by it, but she also wasn’t too psyched. I’m just glad he didn’t take anything out of his golf bag, after all, you shouldn’t be using a wood on the fairway anyways…

11
Apr
09

Almost One Step From Anarchy

kindle_20090410234319487_320_240The Boston Red Sox were extremely fortunate that their home opener had to be postponed; were it not fans at the game would likely have been without a most important condiment, ketchup. Consider the butterfly effect, wherein the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can have great affect long-term, because the Sox may have just avoided such a catastrophe. In Sydney, Ohio, far away from Yawkey Way, a truck was stolen by a disgruntled employee, that wouldn’t seem to have any relation to the Red Sox, but it turns out the truck was carrying 996 bottles of Heinz ketchup ultimately destined to arrive at Fenway. Instead, Christopher Kindle (right), in a dispute with his trucking company, stole the truck and disappeared. The company didn’t notice until they received an email stating the truck had never arrived at its intended destination in Norton, MA. After finding out the importance of the ketchup, the company dispatched another truck and actively sought to find the first one. Police ultimately caught up with Kindle, who lead them to the truck’s location, in Baxter, Tennessee, far far far away from any delicious Fenway Franks.

Had the game not been delayed, it is possible that Opening Day at Fenway would have seen a lot of naked hot dogs, missing America’s favorite ketchup. Had there been no ketchup, angry fans might have thrown wrappers on the field, there, a Sox player might have slipped, injuring himself for the season, flushing the team’s championship hopes down the drain one game into the season. The thought of returning to mediocrity with our baseball team might have turned New England (even more) into a giant wallowing pit of misery, leading to depression, causing mass absences from schools and job sites around the region. This massive slow-down on the economy, coupled with the larger recession would lead to financial disaster for most of the banks and larger corporations in the area, following their collapse, and the inevitable fall into anarchy that would ensue, it is likely that by the end of this weekend, people would be cannibalizing their neighbors, living in the woods with painted faces, wearing fur clothes and without any sense of order and society.

All thanks to no ketchup.

We should all be thankful that second truck was rapidly dispatched!

[Fox Boston]




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