Posts Tagged ‘Real Madrid


What’s the Matter, Lose Your Stud?

Real Madrid winger Royston Drenthe was transferred to the team for a mere $21 million dollars and obviously, he feels very threatened by his lack of earnings compared to some of his more famous, and fabulously wealthy teammates.

The other day at practice Drenthe wore one of his diamond earrings, at the end of practice though, the bauble was gone!

He walked all over the practice field trying to find it. He didn’t. But he did manage to be be captured in this photo looking sad and forlorn, so, at least there’s that!

[Dirty Tackle]


Real Madrid Gets CRUSHED by Third Division Club

192445_alcorcon_raul_dest_2Real Madrid, which boasts a payroll over $600 million, squared off against Alcoran, a third-division club in the King’s Cup on Tuesday. Despite being one of the premier soccer clubs in the world Real was defeated handily, 4-0 by a club whose total payroll comes to $1.8 million. How embarrassing! Sure, they were missing several of their top players to injury but that’s still no excuse, they’re fucking REAL MADRID.

This is like the Yankees being taken down by a D3 liberal arts college.

“It’s an embarrassment, I have no explanation,” manager Manuel Pellegrini said at a news conference afterwards. “When you lose like that there is not much to say. Sometimes in the Cup you think that your weaker opponent is easily beaten and until you lose you don’t take them seriously.”

Fortunately, the club officials are taking it all in stride. Real director general Jorge Valdano apologized to the fans on the team’s website for his team’s pathetic performance. “It’s difficult and I know how the Madrid supporters must be feeling. We have to take it as a lesson in humility that must serve as a starting point for a fresh beginning. We must stick together, and when I say together I am also thinking about the coach.”



Wizard Puts a Curse on Ronaldo

cristiano-ronaldo-shirt-off-_5According to a letter obtained by the Spanish newspaper El Mundo, a man claiming to be a wizard has placed a curse on Real Madrid superstar Cristiano Ronaldo. The sorcerer, explains that he is not anti-Real Madrid but that he’s a professional and has been paid by a woman who is famous and knows Ronaldo personally. The curse is not necessarily supposed to seriously injure Ronaldo — although that’s what the woman wanted — but should cause him to play poorly.

The wizard, who is hiding his identity claims to have already begun the spiritual process, in his “lab” he has photos of Ronaldo and he applies his “arts” on them.

As well, the wizard won’t reveal who hired him to put this curse on Ronaldo in the first place, saying, “I cannot say it because I am a mixture of priest and doctor, and have to respect the confidentiality of my client.”

The team is ignoring the notice, saying that they get crazy letters like this all the time. The same wizard sent similarly threatening letters to the team in 2003 and 2006 — both seasons subsequently turned disastrous.

Ronaldo, quite the Lothario has wracked up an impressive list of women across the continent and so it is really anyone’s guess as to who might have hired this wizard in the first place.

As Congreve wrote, “Heav’n has no rage like love to hatred turn’d/Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.”

[El Mundo via The Big Lead]

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