Posts Tagged ‘Milwaukee Brewers

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30
May
08

I Know It’s Around Somewhere…

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags: , , , ,

Julian Tavarez was recently unceremoniously dumped by the Red Sox when they designated him for assignment. After no one stepped up to trade for him, he was released and then signed a deal with the Milwaukee Brewers. So far, his tenure there is very similar to his time in his previous homes as well. Case in point, Tavarez won a World Series ring last season with the Sox, and recently said, “I got my World Series last year and now I feel spoiled. I want another one and another one and another one.”

Perhaps he should take better care of the one that he has currently. This story out of Milwaukee reveals that Tavarez isn’t exactly sure what he did with his ring. After the Sox DFA’d him, he apparently left the $20,000 ring in his locker, somewhere.  “They’re going to mail it to me, I’m sure,” he told the Capital Times. Great.

I like Tavarez, well, not so much as a player but as a guy I’ve seen on TV and such he seems like a giant goofball who acts instintively and never thinks anything through. Perhaps that’s related to how he never really went to school as a child and has essentially been in an even more arrested state of development than other baseball players. That said, he loves to play baseball and while he’ll do boneheaded plays (like rolling a ball to first or punching a wall and injuring himself) he genuinely seems to enjoy himself out there.

But after having spent his entire career trying to win the World Series you’d think that something like your World Series ring might be a bit more valuable to him and at least he’d have a ROUGH idea of where such a thing might be. Maybe I’m just a silly Sox fan, but if I had a World Series ring I’d know where it was at every moment for the rest of my life.

I think Julian should just take Gagne’s. After all, he DEFINITELY didn’t deserve to get one at all. That would settle it easily.

23
Apr
08

It’s Gross When You’re Unappreciated

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , , ,

On Tuesday the Milwaukee Breweres bullpen (cough, Eric Gagne, choke, cough cough) allowed 5 runs in 2 innings to force the game into extra innings. Gabe Gross hit a double in the bottom of the 12th that got him into position to be scored by Gabe Kaplers single, winning the game. Going 2-4 with 2 doubles, 3 runs scored and a stolen base he had quite a fine stat line for the day. Not enough though in Doug Melvin’s, the Brewers’ GM, eyes. Immediately following the game Gross was dealt to the Tampa Bay Shaitan Rays for a minor league pitcher. Nice way to say thanks! What’s worse, is that this is not the first time this has happened to Gabe, he has a long history of things going well and then quickly not.

  • In third grade, Gabe brought in cupcakes for his entire class. During the recess kickball game he started suffering cramps from eating too many and threw up all over Mindy Glotzberg, his crush was never realized.
  • Junior year of high school Gross received his first awkward, teethy BJ and was feeling especially good. When getting a physical later that afternoon, the nurse informed him he had crabs.
  • While playing in Single-A, Gross and some teammates went to a Hooter’s for some wings. He asked out one of the waitresses, who accepted. While walking out the door with her of the restaurant she was struck by a truck and dragged for 13.4 miles.
  • On spring break in Cancun, Gross gets picked to be on an MTV show about wild spring breakers. He ends up on the Real World: Miami instead.
  • A few months ago, during McDonald’s Monopoly game, Gross found all three green pieces, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Pacific, winning a free car! As he pulled off the lot he ran into a tractor trailer carrying frozen Burger King patties, totaling his new ride.
  • Two weeks ago Gabe was specially selected online to get a FREE IPHONE, he followed the links for 2 1/2 hours until his computer was infected with 13 different viruses and then spontaneously started sputtering and smoking. No Iphone was ever delivered to him.
22
Apr
08

Maybe Not One for Milton Bradley’s Hall of Fame Audition

By slanch 7 Comments
Categories: Baseball, Funny, Pop Culture and Television
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I understand that Milton Bradley is a significantly better athlete than I am, he is capable of agility and grace, and that he has accomplished many things at the major league level. However, Monday was not one of those outings.

Embarassing! I wonder what his competitors would say sarcastically to him after such a misplay…

I can just watch that over and over and over, it’s hilarious to me. And I do agree with Buck Showalter, it does indeed look bad. He just crumples in abject horror, justifiably so, scorched cow skin raining randomly from the sky, that’s something most people would want nothing to do with. (On a tangential note, I’m glad to see Buck Showalter back on Baseball Tonight, he gives much better analysis than any other manager they’ve had on recently and was missed.)

That was not all for the bizarre outfield plays this Monday, secret pen-pals Corey Hart and Ryan Ludwick combined together to make two of the stranger plays of the evening. First, there was Corey Hart going for an easy liner off the white-hot bat of Ludwick,

now, to be fair, Corey did just miss a great catch and then banged into the wall pretty hard earlier in the game, so while he should have caught this ball, I’m not going to hold it totally against him for being uneasy about the wall again.

But wait, there’s more! Ryan Ludwick felt bad, he didn’t want to have Hart go home feeling bad about himself, he just knew it would be reflected in an angry IM message later, so he figured he’d do a little something to put the hop back into Corey’s step. With Corey at bat Ludwick charged in on a dropping liner and–

Indeed that is nasty. Strange day out here at Windswept fields

ed. to add:

Great, so MLB took down the videos. Sweet, thanks MLB. I can see why you’d want to take down any ways for the fans to possibly enjoy the game outside of MLB.com. After all, why utilize the millions of users on Youtube, I mean, they don’t matter at all right. Sigh. I’ll try and see about getting them back up. Blame MLB.

I apologize for the shitty screengrabs but they’re the best I can do… it kinda works…

13
Mar
08

Mike Cameron Drinks Your Milkshake (Filled with Amphetamines)

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , , , , ,

So Mike Cameron, now a Milwaukee Brewer, has applied to get an exemption for amphetamines because of post-concussion syndrome suffered from the ugly collision he had back in 2005 with Carlos Beltran. Cameron is also already suspended by the MLB for the first 25 games because of his testing positive for amphetamines.

I’m no doctor, and maybe his head is still messed up from that collision, but to me, when someone says “”I may be fine, but [the test] can’t hurt. I just want to find out for sure, and whether I need anything to help me,” as Cameron told USA Today it reminds me of the kids in high school and college I knew who all had prescriptions for Ritalin and Adderall. Almost as a rule NONE of them actually needed the drugs and I think I knew of at least 5 or 6 doctors who would write me a prescription sight unseen.

I suggest Mike does what I do when I need some energy… Continue reading ‘Mike Cameron Drinks Your Milkshake (Filled with Amphetamines)’

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