Archive Page 126

28
Dec
08

The Reds Can’t Win

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

I guess the trade of Ryan Freel and the loss of Corey Patterson left Reds management desperate for another singles-only hitter who barely contributes to your team, they signed Willy Taveras over the weekend to a 2-year deal. Sure, Taveras has lots of speed and had a ton of infield hits (37 bunt singles in 2007!) but he is incapable of scoring runs. Even on that strong offensive 2007 Rockies team, which scored 860 runs, and in spite of hitting .320 and stealing 33 bags, Taveras managed a scant 64 runs.

Yes, it was in only 97 games, but that’s a pretty good sample size, and this year in 133 games he also scored only 64 runs, this time stealing 68 bases. Maybe it has something to do with having an anemic OPS and thus being incapable of hitting at the top of the lineup. In 2007, which by any reasonable measure was Taveras’ best year, he managed an OPS+ of 89. 89! He had 120 hits last season and 102 of them were singles, and that’s with playing in Colorado with the spacious alleys. Essentially, he can’t hit the ball out of the infield, and if he can’t leg out a hit he has no chance of ever getting one.

Also, his defense is atrocious. For someone who is so fast he gets bad reads on balls, misses plays he should get and doesn’t patrol center field impressively at all.

At first glance I hated this deal for the Reds, but astonishingly, after looking at the remaining free agent outfielders I changed my mind.  Continue reading ‘The Reds Can’t Win’

28
Dec
08

The NBA: Where Champions Battle

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball
Tags: , , ,

Last night in a battle of professional basketball teams the Washington Wizards outlasted the Oklahoma Stupid Names 104-95 in DC. The only reason this game received any attention whatsoever, considering that the two teams were so awful, was that exact reason. The Wizards were 4-23 coming into the game and the SNs had gone a robust 3-27.

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, there had never been an NBA game matching teams who had played at least 25 games combining for worse records…

“It’s no fun having three wins, but it’s important we stay together and we continue to compete for one another,” Oklahoma City interim coach Scott Brooks said.

“Not one guy in this locker room is a loser. Unfortunately, we are not getting wins like we feel like we should.”

Sorry Coach, gotta disagree . If you have won only three games at this point, you are in fact, losers. You are getting housed. You remind me of the Boston Celtics circa 2006. I mean, right?!? That’s not good company, that team lost 18 straight at one point. I know you only recently took over the team, but let’s not bullshit one another, your team totally blows. And that’s even with Durant stroking the ball and scoring 20 per! Your season is over and it isn’t even 2009 yet.

28
Dec
08

Eric Mangini Hates Pig Tying

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , , ,

So this is random, from the New York Times:

Jets Coach Eric Mangini is one of the most cloak-and-dagger wielders of the National Football League’s injury list. The phenomenon peaks with one of the league’s most common injury areas — hamstrings — which have been pulled, strained or otherwise aggrieved 1,154 times among the league’s 32 teams since 2006.

Amazingly, the Jets have apparently had only one hamstring injury in Mangini’s three seasons. It belonged to the former receiver Tim Dwight, whose malady was listed less specifically as “thigh” almost every week of the 2006 season except for Week 4, when it snuck in as “hamstring” before scampering back.

26
Dec
08

Nuff Ced

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags:

From  ZZZLLL, this was spotted at Boston’s Museum of Science’s gift shop.

26
Dec
08

Are You Kidding Me!?!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Hockey
Tags: , ,

Canadian teenager John Tavares, who terrifyingly was born in 1990, is a member of the Canadian Junior Hockey team currently playing in the World Junior Hockey tournament in Ottawa and is widely anticipated to be the first pick in this year’s NHL draft. He also scored an astoundingly incredible goal during Canada’s first game of the tournament. Make sure you see the high quality version because this will blow you away.

Seriously, that is absolutely AWESOME! It reminds me of the moves from D2 of Dwayne Robertson, played by Ty O’Neal, who interestingly is now a professional rodeo cowboy.

26
Dec
08

The Scots are Some Weird Folk

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Golf
Tags: , , ,

Golfers in Scotland have been finding something quite unexpected in the woods off the courses, deer mauled to death. In some cases the deer were found hanging from trees. Clubs in Bearsden, Bishopbriggs and Milngavie all reported finding deer carcasses and the SSPCA believes that deer poachers have been using lurcher type dogs to kill the deer for sport.

Tom Gatherer, from the SSPCA, said: “Using dogs to kill deer is cruel and callous and it is unthinkable in this day and age that people still consider this sport.

“The deer in these areas, although wild, are used to seeing people either out playing golf or walking their dogs so they may not have the same flight response as deer in remote areas.

“The people involved in this activity are getting easy pickings and it is deplorable.”

[BBC]

26
Dec
08

Got 125K and Need a Car?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball and Random
Tags: , ,

Now that Christmas is over, it’s time for all the great bargains from the retailers. Even NBA stars are getting in on the action. Tracy McGrady listed his tricked out 2001 Mercedes CL-Class sedan on eBay for a “buy it now” price of $150,000 with an end date before Christmas, to make it the perfect gift for someone with bad taste. The car, which features over $180,000 in special modifications is a BARGAIN at that price.

But wait, there’s more!

Since no one purchased the car at that price, he has relisted it, now for the even MORE bargain price of $125,000! You’re basically making money if you buy this car. And think of the sentimental value of owning something from NBA legend Tracy McGrady! He’s ALMOST won a playoff series! Think of the stories you can tell your kids.

The car comes with a custom paint job, which appears white but under direct light is actually a light baby blue. As well it has 20 inch chrome wheels, special side skirts and mufflers, spoilers and front and rear parking sensors. The heated seats are black leather with Gucci print accents as well as coming with built-in massagers, each headrest also has a T-Mac logo. The center console has a 10 inch LCD display with input for CD, MP3, XM and DVDs and in the trunk is a customized JL stereo system with 15 inch sub woofers and their own power source.

What more could you want!?! The work was all done by West Coast Customs, the guys who did all the stuff for MTV’s “Pimp My Ride.”

If all those features and special items weren’t enough, the winner of the auction will get the opportunity to meet Tracy McGrady himself and get him to sign the dashboard if you so desire. Pretty sweet no?

26
Dec
08

That Doesn’t Mean What You Think it Does…

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Football and Television
Tags: , , , ,

The Hawaii Bowl featured a match up between Hawaii and perennial bowl game loser Notre Dame and, amazingly somehow, Notre Dame pulled out a victory. It just might have saved Charlie Weis’ job. At least for a couple more days…

Anyways, during the game, Dave Pasch, one of the announcers made a slightly bizarre statement that I don’t think was what he intended to say.

Yeah, that means something very different than what you meant Mr. Pasch.

Unless you could see something that we can’t from the TV broadcast…

26
Dec
08

Today in 90s Family Television

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Football and Television
Tags: , , , ,

This weekend’s San Diego Chargers and Denver Broncos game is a battle for supremacy of the AFC West and the bad blood between these teams is spilling over into a war of words. A strange war of words. For instance, take this bit of trash talk from Chargers defensive end Jacques Cesaire:

They have bad teeth. They have bad hair. They don’t know how to cook. What else don’t I like about them? They watch Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Who does that? Who watches Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman? That’s what I want to know. I heard the Denver Broncos watch it. I’m just sayin’.

I’m not quite sure how that is supposed to scare or intimidate the Broncos, but then again, Cesaire is a 2nd string D-Lineman who isn’t particularly good in the first place. Don’t worry though, he wasn’t done.

For the most part, I have no problem with those guys. Some guys might. I mean, obviously the quarterback (Jay Cutler), from what he’s saying about my quarterback (Philip Rivers), I have a little problem with him. But my biggest complaint with him is that he looks like Ringo Starr, you know? I’m just not feeling his haircut.

Take a look at Cutler sometimes. He has like this shag look going. I don’t even know what it’s called. I was just looking at his press conference the other day after the game. He had on this overgrown suit jacket. It was like ‘Come on, man. Let’s get it together.’

When asked what he might say to Cutler if he were to sack him, Cesaire responded with a one word answer, “supercuts.”

Teammates on the Chargers, like Luis Castillo were not in a rush to get behind Cesaire’s comments, worried that he might have given the Broncos some bulletin board material. However, I feel fairly confident that the Broncos are not going to be extra energized just because some scrub accused them of watching “Dr Quinn,” after all, Jane Seymour is a good looking lady, even still, and besides, that show was pretty good. I’m not ashamed to say that when I recently saw the complete series box set available at Costco I seriously considered getting it. I didn’t but I thought about it.

OK. I’m kinda ashamed about that.
[Sign On San Diego]

26
Dec
08

Europeans Know How to Party

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , , ,

Somehow my press invitation must have gotten lost, but last weekend, in Amsterdam no less, was the European pole dancing championships. Ladies from Albania to Spain took to the pole to show off their acrobatic skills on two different poles, one in a fixed location and one that rotated, I suppose to add to the challenge and drama.

“Everything which we do requires so much strength. You train your legs and your muscles. It has nothing to do with eroticism. You have no time to think of that!” said Jeannine Wikering, a 26-year-old competitor from Germany who, probably FOR that reason finished third. “I think one day it should be an Olympic sport — but that will take time. You would have to agree which moves on which to judge competitors, at the moment we all have such different routines,” she added. Of course, she’s not the only one who wants to make it an Olympic event as we’ve already seen.

Galina Troschenko, 36 (above), of Spain took home top honors, evidently impressing the judges with her acrobatic displays. “I’ve only been doing this for three years, but I suppose I have a background as a dancer,” she said.

Now here’s my question, what inspires a 33 year old woman to start pole dancing, and then to do it competitively? What was going on in her life that led to this path? I want answers!

Kenneth Tao, one of the several hundred audience members had this to say after the event, “I didn’t see anything which I thought was erotic. It was gymnastic. I was watching their choreography in particular.”

In other news, Kenneth Tao only reads the Playboy articles and finds the most erotic part of a woman her brain. I do too, but usually I have the brain in a jar sitting on my desk….

[Champions 365]

24
Dec
08

Happy Hannukah!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball

To celebrate Hannukah, how about a bad local news reporter with awkward interviews with NBA stars who don’t know anything about Hannukah. Top it off with a random Paris Hilton bit that makes no sense. Local news, where the best come to play!

[Coed Magazine]

24
Dec
08

We Destroy the Ones We Love

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball

Isn’t it crazy that this is what we all look like on the inside?

The slow deconstruction of Shea Stadium continues. Today, check out the bowels! For more from this gallery, go here.

shea1

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