Today we here at the Slanch Report had our 400,000 reader, all since March. I want to thank everyone for reading and hope that you will continue and keep telling your friends. Or if it has been 3 people just constantly reloading the page and changing IP addresses, I thank you for your dedication. So keep coming back and I’ll keep bringing you fun stuff.
Most importantly, pitchers and catchers report in 21 days!
In an effort to make me buy their shoes over my preferred New Balances, Nike has released a new limited edition series of shoes called the Nike Media pack inspired by the movies Teen Wolf, Hoosiers and White Men Can’t Jump. While the WMCJ and Hoosiers ones are alright, they aren’t anything super awesome, but it is the Teen Wolf ones that stole my heart. Featuring a fur lined outside AND a fur insole they are simply dope, not to mention Stilesing styling in the Beavers’ team colors.
Oh man, those are SO AWESOME! I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT!
The shoes are going to be available in limited supply exclusively at the House of Hoops locations in NYC, LA and Chicago. To anyone reading out there who wants to make my otherwise depressingly sad life better, these would make a delightful pick-me-up. I wear a size 10.
I don’t have much else to say other than this photo of Roger Federer at the Australian Open is really awesome. So, yeah, enjoy!
[SI]
Unfortunately, in this new era of invasive internet media and the blogosphere there is simply no way that teams will make embarrassingly awful rap videos anymore. It’s a huge shame, because the sheer comedic value of these videos far outweighs anything else. Take for instance this incredibly erotic Los Angeles Rams video from the early 80s. I don’t know who was the smart person who thought this video needed to be made, but goddamn am I glad they did. This video is simply amazing, not to mention incredibly bizarre. Why does a football team want to “Ram it all night long?” I’d think they’d get tired. Unless they mean something else… Make sure you pay attention to #21, he really puts his all into the performance.
At the Parallel Giant Slalom event at the Snowboard World Championship in Hoengseong, South Korea, Tyler Jewell was prepared to start his run but ran into a small problem, the gate wouldn’t open. When the American snowboarder tried to start his run, the gates failed to open and instead of flying down the slope, he was instead flipped ass over tea kettle and embarrassingly fell onto the snow. Fortunately, Jewell was able to get another chance and this time the gates opened properly, allowing him to finish with a robust 10th place standing.
Also, whaddya guys think of my animated gif skills eh? Pretty fancy!
The New York Islanders made headlines several years ago when they signed goalie Rick DiPietro to a record 15-year, $67.5 million contract. Three years into the deal, and as most prognosticators said then, the deal looks like a giant mistake. After playing in only 5 games this season, DiPietro is unable to continue trying to play and will face season-ending surgery on his injured knee.
Last season also ended early for DiPietro who required hip surgery, seeing his season come to a close in March. With this, the third year of the contract, thus far, the Islanders haven’t been able to keep DiPietro on the ice and playing, making his ridiculous contract look all the more outrageous. Especially when you consider that, while solid, DiPietro has never been a truly elite goaltender who would deserve such a contract…
[TSN]
The figure skating judging world is tough. Take Russian figure skater Ekaterina Rubleva and her partner, Ivan Shefer, who despite their best efforts were unable to place higher than 12th during the European Championships, even with Rubleva finishing their routine with one of her breasts hanging out.
The accident occurred during the pair’s routine when during some twirls her outfit started to slide down, but when Shefer held her hand over her head, oops, down went the top. The judges weren’t impressed, scoring the duo only a 29.04. I wonder why Shefer isn’t so shocked, or interested, in the inadvertent boob showing. I know that if I were ice skating with someone and her boob popped out, I’d probably acknowledge it in some manner. Probably with hooting and maybe a bike horn. But then, that’s me…
After the jump the NSFW version.
Marat Safin, while playing in the Hopman Cup tournament in Perth, Australia accidentally drills the net judge with an errant return. Most players would just ignore it and move on, but not Safin, he understands that getting the judges on your side always helps, so he runs up and gives the judge a kiss. I really like how much she enjoys the kiss, clearly Safin’s charms were not lost on the judge.
Unfortunately, one kiss wasn’t enough and Safin lost in the finals of the tournament. Next time I suggest slipping the judge some tongue…
Ric Flair was one of the most famous, most successful wrestlers of all-time, known for his boa topped costumes, his high flying acrobatic work off the ropes and his signature “WOOOOOOOOOOO.” Finishing his career with 16 title “wins” across multiple wrestling leagues, Flair was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2008. Joe Biden yesterday took the oath of office for the Vice-Presidency, taking a 30+ year career in Washington and subjugating himself for the next 8 years to the office about which John Adam famously said, “My country has in its wisdom contrived for me the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived.” Despite their seemingly many differences, the team men share quite the resemblance.
As ever, check out the rest of our awesome doppelgangers HERE, and be sure to exercise your franchise and VOTE in the poll below so that these doppelgangers can join the others.
ESPN must be trying really hard to make sure that their Sunday Baseball broadcasts are watched with the sound down next season. Watching the games was hard enough already with just Joe Morgan and Jon Miller, there is only so much inane talk that can be withstood; but ESPN is announcing today that they will be adding a third man into the booth, Steve Phillips.
The same Phillips who was fired as the Mets’ GM, the same Steve Phillips who has broadcast games for about two years on ESPN and is yet to add a cogent point, the same Steve Phillips who adds NOTHING to every baseball segment he’s been a part of since he joined ESPN. Sounds like a good plan to me!
Now, the Sunday games, which are supposed to be the biggest showcase of the game will feature a broadcasting team that will be completely unlistenable, I wonder if the Nielsen’s can register that the sound is down? What ever happened to the removing of Morgan from Sundays? Is there truly no god?
[Newsday]
I guess Mike Tyson is at Sundance, promoting a documentary about him and at a dinner at his honor he stood up and made this speech. Money quote: “”I’m afraid of how much pussy, and how much money I’m going to get, and it’s going to lead to a lot of problems. That really bothers me a lot. It sounds funny, but it’s really detrimental to me.”
Ah Mike, you so crazy.
In Chicago last night, fans went home saddened by the Blackhawks’ 4-1 loss to the Minnesota Wild, except for one fan. An unidentified fan, through an Illinois lottery promotion walked away from the game with $1 million after the Wild’s Martin Havlat scored exactly at the 10 minute mark of the second period. While the other Chicagoans went home despondent, the man, who requested his name be withheld was full of happiness and also looked a little stunned after the game when he got the chance to meet Havlat.
“At least something good came out of the game,” Havlat told the winner.
During the postgame press conference when the ‘Hawks’ coach Joel Quenneville was informed about the lucky fan he had this understated statement. “He did? Good for him.”
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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