I don’t know where this is from or when. I do know that soccer players love to be pussies. Play the goddamn game and stop trying to get a penalty. Winners play.
Archive for the 'Soccer' Category
Talk about making a notable debut; Aloisio is a striker on the second-division Brazilian soccer club Vasco da Gama who managed to knock himself unconscious in a unique manner. After colliding with an opponent, Aloisio choked on his chewing gum, losing consciousness for several minutes on the field.
“It was a very serious situation,” Vasco doctor Paulo Cesar Rocha said. “Luckily we identified the problem quickly and took the gum out to help him breathe again.”
With a propensity to get injured AND a propensity for choking I can’t believe Omar Minaya isn’t on a plane right now, contract in hand.
“I don’t remember a lot,” Aloisio told the media. “I only remember the doctor taking the gum out. I have never been scared like this — no more chewing gum for me.”
27
Aug
09
A Tale of Two Cities
In Houston, Texas, fans at Reliant Stadium may find their thirsts not quite quenched. Where once their cups overfloweth with 24 ounces of great tasting, less filling beer, now their cups runneth dry with a mere 20 ounces. The price, obviously, remains the same.
Vice President for Communications Tony Wyllie had this to say: “If we’d served 24 ounces this year, the price would be higher. Honestly, it was more of a responsibility decision [to try and cut down heavy drinking]. It wasn’t a business decision. … We as the Texans wanted to do the most responsbile thing.”
You bet! This has NOTHING to do with the team making more money…
And to only point out how ass-backwards America is next to our European compatriots, German soccer team Bayern Munich — who are currently stuck in 14th place — will give out 7,000 liters of free beer before their game on Saturday.
Hmm. Less beer for the same price or FREE beer… hmm…hmm… You know, I’m switching allegiances. I’m now a Football fan. You win this round Germany.
[Houston Chronicle and Yahoo]
We’re all well-versed in the inequities between men’s and women’s sports, here’s another fun example. In the European soccer leagues men get transferred for many millions of Euros, just this past June Brazilian superstar Kaka and his silly moniker were transferred for €57.5 million. In the US, the struggling Women’s Professional Soccer League has seen several of her players, including some of the biggest names, such as fellow Brazilian Marta Vieira da Silva turning to Amway to supplement their incomes.
Three Washington (DC) Freedom players have also signed up with the household products company thanks to their pittance-like salaries of $25,000 – $40,000. Considering Amway likes to promise 6-figure salaries to dedicated and successful sellers, that’s quite the upgrade. The Freedom players are also hopeful they can solicit their teammates to sign up too.
It’s a sad state of affairs for professional athletes when you’re working full-time as a commercial real estate broker, as Freedom midfielder Joanna Lohman (left)does, plus her “part-time” gig, playing for the Freedom which takes 3-5 hours a day, 6 days a week and you aren’t able to make ends meet.
14
Aug
09
Getafe and Creepily BK Team Up
We already have seen the creative advertising campaigns for Spanish soccer club, Getafe, thanks to a partnership with Burger King, the team will also have some creativity on the field.
As part of their scary ad campaign using the BK King, next season’s Getafe uniforms will feature a BK logo on the outside of the shirt. The really innovative part though is on the INSIDE of the new uniforms where a picture of “The King” will be, upside down!
Now, when a Getafe player scores and pulls his shirt over his head to celebrate, as many soccer players do, the King’s face will be right-side up for the cameras.
Concerned that soccer players may not be smart enough to figure out how to properly show off the King, the shirt comes with instructions. The only potential problem here is that Getafe just barely avoided relegation and are not known for their goal-scoring prowess so there may be limited opportunites to show this off.
[CNBC]
13
Aug
09
Those Uniforms Look Stylish!
On Monday, Argentine soccer team Velez Sarsfield held an event to honor their 2009 Clausura championship and to show off their new uniforms. Learning from Linfield FC of Northern Ireland’s example, Velez didn’t use their players to show off the new unis. Instead they got some hotties! Much better choice. Although, I’m still left wondering what the shorts will look like, since these ladies seem to have disdain for them…
13
Aug
09
No, THIS is Nasty
Yesterday’s Cubs/Phillies game saw Shane Victorino go back for a fly ball in the 5th inning. He got the ball but he also caught a face-full of beer thrown from the fans above him. That’s pretty bad.
Not HALF as bad though as what the fans in Mexico were throwing at the US soccer team in yesterday’s game:
The man with the tri-colored mohawk took a swig of beer, stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited the mixture back into his cup. In the next seat another man, who was wearing a T-shirt with a cartoon drawing of the decapitated heads of Barack Obama and Landon Donovan, poured out what remained of the Corona beer he had been chugging and urinated into his cardboard drinks container.
Welcome to the Estadio Azteca, where allegedly projecting bodily fluids at another human being is acceptable in the name of soccer fanaticism.
Then, according to a neutral bystander who witnessed these disgusting acts, the pair stood on their seats, high-fived and hurled their vile concoctions in the direction of Donovan, the United States men’s national team star who was preparing to take a corner kick 15 yards away.
Now, I love the Red Sox, enough to vomit in a cup and then throw it at someone… well, maybe not… Ah well, soccer truly is the Beautiful Game…
[Yahoo!]
04
Aug
09
Whisky Can Prevent Swine Flu?
In order to protect her citizens, Russian authorities have issued a warning to soccer fans who might travel to Wales for the Russian team’s next World Cup qualifying match. Worried about the spread of swine flu, the Russian Health Ministry has recommended that any fans who travel to the game imbibe plenty of Welsh whisky as a disinfectant. “That should cure all symptoms of the disease,” said Alexander Shprygin, the head of the country’s soccer fan association.
“Health officials say this virus is very dangerous but being a fan myself I can tell you that for a real fan nothing is more important than the well-being of the team,” said Shprygin. “Russian fans don’t fear anything or anybody so this virus will not stand in our way of supporting our team.”
Is there anything whisky CAN’T do?
[Reuters]
Despite an incident with a fan and his overall tenure with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the MLS being underwhelming, David Beckham is still a pretty decent soccer player, as evidenced by this sweet penalty shot he took yesterday during a match against FC Barcelona.
Look, it bends!
31
Jul
09
HEAD! MOVE!
I definitely had this happen to me a couple dozen times as a kid. Of course, you wouldn’t know it talking to me. Bumper cars gogglegoth blopker.
This video never stops being funny to me.
The Slanch Report 
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