Archive for the 'Golf' Category



30
Sep
09

Bikini Golfer Strokes Her Way Out of Trouble

I’m only posting this video as a public service to remind people how helpful and important it is to receive proper instruction in golf. Look at how her coach has helped this young bikinied lass to work through her issues with sand traps and improve her lay.

Just say what she needs to do to make it better and she’ll do it.

[With Leather]

18
Sep
09

Man Throws Thousands of Golf Balls Into Park

misc_golf_ballsIn a bizarre and misguided attempt to pay tribute to dead golfers everywhere, 57-year-old Douglas Jones went to the Joshua Tree National Park and threw upwards of 3,000 golf balls into the “giant sand trap.”

Starting in 2007, park rangers “began discovering large quantities of golf balls in some turnout areas of the park,” said park spokesman Joe Zarki. “We were wondering what was going on here. There were also some tennis balls involved.”

In addition to the golf (and tennis) balls, random cans of fruit and vegetables would be scattered throughout the park with park literature surrounding them.

Finally, this summer rangers caught up to Jones, who admitted to the charges.

“He said he did it because he wanted to honor all the golfers who had died,” Zarki said. “He left the cans of fruit and vegetables supposedly for the assistance of stranded hikers. He wanted to leave his mark.”

While rangers had initially thought someone was hitting the balls into the park, it turns out that Jones was just throwing them from his car.

Contrary to what rangers originally thought, Jones wasn’t chipping golf balls into the desert with a club. He was hurling them from his car.

Jones lives with his 84-year-old father, also Douglas, who had no idea about his sons activities until reporters called him.

“It certainly sounds strange,” his father said. “He hikes out in Joshua Tree every three months or so and he golfs maybe once a week. But I don’t know where he would get that many golf balls.”

Considering that the younger Jones works at a golf course, I have a hunch on how he might have acquired so many balls…

[LA Times]

14
Sep
09

Steve Blass Suddenly Becomes Accurate Again

SteveBlass2It’s usually an honor to have something named after you, unless of course you’re former major leaguer Steve Blass who inexplicably lost the ability to accurately throw a ball and has since seen any player who loses the skill be said to have “Steve Blass Disease.”

Blass won 19 games in 1972 but in 1973 his control went downhill and he lost the ability to locate. Within two years he was out of the game.

This past Thursday Blass participated in the annual Pirates alumni golf outing along with several other former players where he managed a very impressive feat; Blass scored TWO holes-in-one in ONE round.

“It’s the first time I signed more autographs than [Hall of Famer Bill Mazeroski],” Blass said, “And it’ll probably be the last.”

Blass and his group of 5 started on the back nine and so the first one happened on the par-3 15th hole when Blass powered an 8-iron through the 154 yard hole. The second ace came on the 7th hole, a 175-yard par-3.

According to Golf Digest, the odds of a golfer making two holes-in-one in the same round are 1 in 67 million.

“I can finally make some kind of ball go where I want it to,” Blass said. “Maybe it’s a sign from above that I should start pitching again.”

[Pittsburgh Live]

02
Sep
09

Old Men Tells Young Golfers to Get Off His Lawn, With Pummeling

baseball1_smallIf there’s anything I want to hear when a 67-year-old man is hitting me in the back of the head with a golf club, it’s the soon-to-be immortal words of Charles Kascinski, “That’ll show you to undermine me!”

It will show me.

Or it would have if I were the one hit, instead that burden fell upon 16-year-old Austino Blaydon of Langhorne, Pennsylvania. Two of Blaydon’s friends were hitting golf balls in the area and hit one through Kascinski’s upstairs window, inciting him towards anger.

Being a responsible adult, Kascinski called the police to report the incident. While he waited for the police to arrive, the two teenagers returned with a third friend, Blaydon. Because he’s sane, he started yelling at the kids, took one of their golf clubs and told them that the police were on their way.

Instead of that being the end of it though, when the police arrived, Kascinski decided to take matters into his own hands. As the boys walked towards the officer on the scene, Kascinski came up behind Blaydon and slammed the golf club into the back of his skull, giving him a 3-inch cut, a fractured skull and a concussion, leading to two days spent in the hospital.

Kascinski was taken into custody, charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person and disorderly conduct and released on $30,000 bail.

Chris Blaydon was outraged. “I am one irate grandfather,” he told a Pennsylvania newspaper, Chris also happens to be the Mayor of Langhorne, so, I’m sure this will all end well for Mr. Kascinski. Continue reading ‘Old Men Tells Young Golfers to Get Off His Lawn, With Pummeling’

01
Sep
09

Golf Just Got Good-Looking

eye-candy caddies4

Eye-Candy Caddies2I don’t golf, I find the act of hitting the ball enjoyable, aiming and or following after it — not so much. Throw in the slowness of the game and I simply can’t get excited about it. However, a new service in the UK has me willing to reconsider. Introducing Eye Candy Caddies who will assign you a young female model to serve as your caddy at various clubs throughout England.

Wearing tight pink uniforms, the caddies will accompany you on the course, carry your clubs and “offer advice on prevailing wind conditions.” Finally! I’ve been waiting for YEARS for women to offer me advice on my wind.

Looking at the money men spend on golf, the Eye Candy website keenly advertises itself as “the gorgeous new solution for unforgettable golf days,” and that “other golfers will be green with envy.”

Eye-Candy Caddies1Most importantly, the caddies are “much more than just a pretty face,” having completed a golf caddying training course – which, according to the website, includes learning what ‘Fore!’ means. That must have been a tough class! Strangely, the girls’ bios don’t mention anything about their golf qualifications…

Sarah Stacey the Managing Director of the company said: “We add that extra sparkle and difference to any golf day and put a smile on people’s faces. All the girls are trained in the etiquette of golf and uniformed in appropriate golf attire. They all sign a code of conduct so everyone is clear about the boundaries.”

Those boundaries include: “Models are not encouraged to fraternize with clients after an assignment has ended. If a client asks a model to engage in social activities after an assignment has ended, it is the model’s responsibility to refuse the offer or if accepting to make it clear that he or she is doing so on a personal basis.”

Looks like I’ll have to make my move while we’re still ON the assignment then…

eye candy3

[Eye Candy Caddies and Daily Mail]

18
Aug
09

Kind of an Expensive Mistake

paddypowerPaddy Power is a British bookie with a reputation for paying out to his winning bets early. This past weekend, after only 36 holes at this past weekend’s PGA Championships, the bookie paid out nearly $2 million to those who bet on Tiger Woods to win the tournament. At the time, Tiger Woods was leading the championships by 4 strokes and was at 1:5 odds. Of course, Tiger didn’t end up taking home the trophy, being bested by Yang Yong-eun of South Korea.

“It takes a special kind of dimwit to turn what should have been our best ever golf result into our worst,” Paddy Power said in a understated statement.

The only thing that prevented Paddy Power from losing even more millions of pounds was the extreme long-odds of Yang turning in the winning round, he was a 150-1 shot before the tournament and at 16-1 before the last day of play.

Talk about premature ejaculation…Paddy’s girlfriend is probably a very unsatisfied lady.

[Daily Star]

10
Aug
09

The Terrorists Have Won (the Right to Maintain Sand Traps)

Bermuda Guantanamo DetaineesAfter 7 years of captivity, in early June, four members of China’s Muslim Uighur minority were released from Guantanamo Bay to luxurious Bermuda. They were resettled on the pink sandy shores of Bermuda because US law forbids returning prisoners to their home country if they are likely to be tortured, as these men certainly would be if remanded to China, despite US evidence showing them innocent of any crime — which didn’t stop the US from holding them…

Initially, the biggest concern for the men was finding a job, but that problem is solved. They’ve been hired on to replace some Filipino workers who suddenly left their job on the grounds-crew staff for the plush Port Royale Golf Course, home to the PGA’s Grand Slam of Golf tournament.

Wendall Brown, chairman of the board of trustees for Bermuda’s public golf courses, said that, “They have been offered a temporary position at Port Royal until the Grand Slam. There are still special projects that we need to do like cleaning up and beautifying the course … All four of them have been given a job there. It’s on a temporary basis. Two of them speak fairly good English.”

While the men hope to settle permanently on the island and raise families, the British and US governments remain in conversations regarding these mens’ futures.

[Yahoo! via Sports by Brooks]

10
Aug
09

Michelle Wie Has a Potty Mouth

Michelle Wie took some time out of her schedule to stop by Dodgers Stadium over the weekend and throw out the first pitch. In addition she took part in an impromptu putting session with beefy Dodgers closer Jonathan Broxton. After all that she took the time to speak with Fox Sports and drop an innocuous “kick ass” on TV. Fun! She seems just like any other normal, super-athletic 19 year old superstar.

07
Aug
09

You’re Supposed to Yell “Fore”

Here is Sergio Garcia teeing off at the Bridgestone Invitational and slamming one off the dome of a spectator. I’d feel bad for the spectator but he CHOSE to go watch golfers in person, he already has mental problems.

Sergio was nice enough to shake hands with the man and give him an autographed ball. Almost worth it. No, not really.

27
Jul
09

Mind if I Play Through

07-27-09_golfFor the troops there probably aren’t many opportunities for fun while being stationed in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Thanks to some Canadians though, that has changed somewhat. Bill Pigden, a retired major who now works as the civilian manager at the Canadian Forces’ Personnel Support Agency at the Kandahar Air Force Base decided to honor the 100th anniversary of the Canadian Open, which was also held this weekend.

In order to do so, he trucked in 4 loads of sand, nearly 2000 feet of Astroturf carpeting and worked with a full team of helpers in order to create a miniaturized exact replica of the Glen Abbey Golf Club in Oakville, Ontario where the actual Canadian Open was being held. “We’ve reconstructed it down to the correct scale . . . with the exception of water and trees. Not a lot of those,” said Pigden.

Unlike their countrymen who were slogging through soggy courses, that wasn’t a problem in Afghanistan. “We just have 50-degree heat to deal with,” Pigden said. It took three days for Pigden and crew to lay out the course, but it was well worth it. They held a tournament, with an entry price of $20 and ended raising $1,500 for Soldier On, a charity that helps wounded soldiers get involved in paralympic sports.

“I think it’s just a wonderful replica, a great idea,” said Lt.-Col. Kevin Bryski, chief of staff with the Afghan Regional Security Integration Command South, and an avid golfer. “Working here in Afghanistan is quite a long toil. We have a lot of work to do here . . .Having opportunities like this to vent a little bit and get out and have some fun on the golf course with your comrades . . . it’s just a wonderful opportunity.”

Of course, Pigden won his own tournament, taking home a trophy and a baseball hat, besting the other 35 competitors. The tournament organizers also challenged fellow Canadian golfers, like Mike Weir, to match their charitable contribution.

[Chronicle Herald]

22
Jun
09

Are You Sure You’re Talking About Golf?

weir_mike_drive_getty_260Another fun out-of-context quote, this time from golfer Mike Weir who was probably talking about playing golf in the US Open, but I prefer to think he’s talking about something else.

I’m not the longest…but usually pretty consistent and I’m very determined, I would say. Might not be the prettiest, but I usually find a way to get it in the hole.

[CBS Sports]

19
May
09

Fore!

NL_RoofGolf297363x002.med_t350PGA Tour card holder Briny Baird got the chance to hit a unique golf shot on Monday when he teed off from the 34th floor of the Omni San Diego Hotel, which sits alongside the Padres’ home, Petco Park. With a large bullseye and a pin placed in the right field area, Baird hit ten balls to raise money thanks to PF Changs for the San Diego Navy/ Marine Corps Relief Society. If Baird hit the center of the bull’s-eye with any of his 10 tries, Americans were to receive a free wrap (with entree order) and the society would gather $2,000. The inner ring meant $1,000 per ball, the outer ring $500 per ball.

Because he’s a pro golfer, the 34-story tee off didn’t faze Baird, who scored on 8 of 10 shots, raising $17,500, being a fine corporation, PF Changs upped it to $25,000.

Prior to taking his swings, Baird allowed someone a bit more familiar with Petco to go ahead of him, GM Kevin Towers who managed to get a couple shots close. Fortunately, it being the Padres home, there was no chance of hitting any base runners.

When asked how this makeshift hole compares to some of the harder holes on the PGA tour, Baird said, “I’d say the 17 at Sawgrass is probably easier. With a little bit of wind, this would be harder. I’ll blame not getting them all in on my caddie, and he’s a thousand miles away.”

[Sign on San Diego]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

July 2020
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories