Archive for the 'Basketball' Category

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28
Sep
09

Meet the NBA’s Newest Owner

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and Random
Tags: , ,

If you’re going to be a billionaire, be a Russian one; they seem to have the most fun. First off, they naturally are well-suited to become Bond villains, which is always fun, and then there is the seeming lawlessness that is the Russian government which allows you to make billions more. Win-win!

For instance, here is Mikhail Prokhorov, the soon-to-be new majority owner of the New Jersey Nets just hanging out on his jet-ski doing some tricks. Because you know, what the hell else does he got to do, the man is 6′ 7″, made several billions of dollars in his mid-20s and is already essentially an oligarch.

I just hope he brings the jet-ski and does tricks during half-times. Let’s go Brooklyn!

[Sports by Brooks]

26
Sep
09

So, Lamar Odom Has a Type Huh

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball, Douches and Pop Culture
Tags: , , ,

After a month of dating, Lakers forward Lamar Odom is set to marry Khloe Kardashian who is a pseudo-celebrity famous mostly for her sister getting peed on by by Brandy’s younger brother. Liza Morales, who Odom dated for 10 years and with whom he had 3 children, one of whom died of SIDS, must be pissed! As noted by Sports by Brooks, these two ladies share quite the resemblance, safe to say we know Lamar’s type now…

lizamoraleskhloekardashian

[Sports by Brooks]

26
Sep
09

This Doesn’t Smell Like a Rose

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball, College and Douches
Tags: , ,

derrick20roseAccording to the NCAA, a player from the Memphis University Tigers, who only played on the team for the 2007-08 season before leaving (to go to the NBA) had someone else take his SATs in order to get him into college. That description only fits one member of the team, 2009 NBA rookie of the year, Derrick Rose who continues to insist he did nothing wrong.

“I took it, I took it,” he told reporters Friday. However, when pressed if he could remember his score, from a test presumably taken 2 years ago, he couldn’t recall it, adding “I don’t even remember my last report card.”

He probably can’t remember because college athletics are a joke for stars like him and he probably never went to class or took anything difficult. As smooth as Rose is on the court, his logic off it isn’t so good

“I wasn’t worried about anybody saying I didn’t take [the test],” he said. “If that’s the case, somebody would have then said it.” Well, somebody DID say it, the NCAA; yes the person who actually took the test hasn’t come forward, but that doesn’t change the evidence which points directly to him having someone else take the entrance exam for him.

Not that it matters, he used the school as the one-year delaying mechanism that the NBA has required and they used him to make millions of dollars. Win-win.

[ESPN]

03
Sep
09

The Nets Hate Themselves

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball and Douches
Tags: , ,

NetsReversiblesBeing from New Jersey is bad enough, something very few residents are willing to admit. “Oh I’m from NYC” they’ll say, but last I checked Newark ain’t New York.

Then there are the New Jersey Nets, desperate to move to Brooklyn, but stuck in East Rutherford. Realizing that they are fighting a Sisyphean battle to get fan interest in their own struggling franchise, the Nets have turned to a different marketing strategy. Don’t come see US, see our OPPONENTS!

Offering a 10-game package, to see some of the actual GOOD teams in the league, including the Lakers, Celtics, Cavs and Magic you get tickets to the game, a four week subscription to the NY Post AND 5 special reversible jerseys. On one side are the Nets and on the other side is one of the aforementioned GOOD teams jerseys.

At last you can live your dream of having a Yi Jianlian and Kevin Garnett jersey!

This is simply an incredibly bad promotion. I mean, yes, the Nets WILL suck next season, they’re two marquee players both are gone and next season is going to be a nightmare, but even still, have some pride or self-respect.

And who are the douches that want to WEAR these stupid jerseys; how ashamed for even liking the Nets do you have to be to wear this?

[NBA]

03
Sep
09

Them (Mostly) White Boys Can Shoot

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags: ,

Now, I’m not one for these kinds of videos normally, but these guys sink some pretty fucking awesome shots. And they’re all from Maine! And they have a black friend! In MAINE! Amazing!

My favorites are the ones where they are on the roof of the house and the ones where they do a double or triple bank shot off the garage.

31
Aug
09

Danny Granger IS Batman

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags: , , ,

340x24a2ca9ejc9Danny Granger is a middling NBA player toiling away on the Indiana Pacers. However, he’s more than just a basketball player; he’s also a huge fan of the superhero genre and in particular Batman. Being a young millionaire has some perks; at his home in New Mexico Granger is building a real-life Batcave.

He’s recently hit a small snag with the state’s building codes, but it isn’t enough to stop the project, tentatively expected to be liveable in a year or 2. The Batcave will include a garage and a surrounding moat 

“He likes to dabble in different things,” says his agent, Mark Bartelstein.

This is awesome, the only issue I have is that only Batman can build a Batcave, so either Granger IS Batman, in which case he TOTALLY just blew his secret identity, or he’s a poseur. Which is it Danny?

[WSJ via Sports by Brooks]

28
Aug
09

The WNBA Loses to Sesame Street

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Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags: , , ,

871-sesame-street-liveDuring the NBA playoffs the Denver Nuggets and the WWE had a standoff over the double-booking of the Pepsi Center. The Nuggets won out and held their playoff game.

Clearly the efforts to make the WNBA a worthwhile sports league have been a wasted effort.

The Atlanta Dream (stupid name) are on the verge of a playoff spot, with 6 games left to play they feature a robust 15-13 record. That might be a problem though. You see, “Sesame Street Live!” has booked the Phillips Arena and NO ONE puts Oscar in the corner.

Even if the Dream manage to make the playoffs, they won’t have access to their home arena, with the Muppets in place for 8 shows from September 17-20. Possible options for the Dream include holding games in Gwinnet, GA or at Georgia Tech, which is exactly what you would expect from a “major” sport league’s playoffs.

The WNBA, where felt-covered puppets are more popular and important!

Maybe the WNBA should sign up Big Bird whose sex has never really been determined, you can’t teach height after all…

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

28
Aug
09

Pee in the Shower, For the Kids

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and Random
Tags: ,

Water conversation is an important issue, particularly it seems in Brazil where they came up with this creative PSA. As a means of encouraging people to pee in the shower – which according to this ad can save 1,157 gallons of water per year — the ad uses a number of celebrity likenesses, including Stephen Hawking and King Kong. Most interesting was their usage of His Airness himself, Michael Jordan. Is Jordan a shower-pee-er?

[Sporting News]

14
Aug
09

Hey Stephon, Whatcha Smokin’?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and Douches
Tags: , ,

Anxious to have an NBA team sign him, the Summer of Insanity tour, brought to you by Stephon Marbury just keeps cruising along. Here is Stephon in his ride going One Toke Over the Line.

It’s a shame the Jailblazers don’t exist anymore, he’d fit in perfectly. Maybe too perfectly…

14
Aug
09

He’s Like the Town Bicycle…

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags:

quentinrichardson_jpg_w300h334This summer’s biggest moving piece in the NBA has clearly been Quentin Richardson, who yesterday was traded for the 4th time, THIS SUMMER.

Bringing with him an expiring $9.35 million contract and little else, Quentin began his magical mystery tour when the Knicks traded him to the Memphis Grizzlies on draft night. Then the Grizzlies traded him to the Clippers.  That marriage didn’t last too long as the Clippers about 20 days later traded him to the Timberwolves. I hope Quentin didn’t start house-hunting yet though, because 24 days after being traded to the hinterlands of Minnesota he’s on the move again, this time to Miami.

“We are very excited to add Quentin Richardson,” Heat president Pat Riley told the AP. “Over the course of his career, he has proven to be a fierce competitor, a great locker room presence and a very prolific 3-point shooter who may be one of the strongest perimeter players in the NBA. We feel that he will be able to match-up well against the top scorers in the league.”

We’ll see. Judging by the way things have been going this summer, and the attractiveness of his expiring contract, it wouldn’t be crazy to see Quentin get traded at least one more time during this upcoming season.

[Examiner]

14
Aug
09

I Don’t See Kevin Bacon Anywhere…

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags: , , , ,

The makers of this video claim that it’s the first ever 720 dunk, clearly they have never seen me play NBA Jam. This is Taurian Fontenette, nicknamed “The Air Up There” playing in an And1 game and throwing down the aforementioned 720. Not too shabby.

12
Aug
09

Baron Davis’ Laptop Gets Got

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and Celebrities
Tags: , , ,

121108_alba_400X400Baron Davis has been the victim of laptop theft and his lawyers are getting out ahead of any possible use of the “private images” that were on the computer. Davis’ attorneys sent out letters threatening legal action to various news outlets if they use any of the personal photos, video or audio on the computer. According to the lawyers the photos and videos  “depict, among other things, a variety of private images of our client, his associates and his colleagues,” wrote lawyer William J. Briggs, II. Davis “had a reasonable expectation of enjoying total privacy with regard to the images,” Briggs added.

Considering Baron’s longtime friendship with his high school teammate Cash Warren — better known as Mr. Jessica Alba — I can only hope that there are thousands upon thousands of naked pictures of her on the computer and that someone is willing to buck the lawyers and deliver them to the world.

Please?

[The Smoking Gun]

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