I don’t know when exactly this video is from, but I figure most people out there wouldn’t find for the opportunity to see a Red Sox fan take a swan dive onto concrete…
I bet that hurt a lot; although major props for actually making the difficult catch!
[Deadspin]
Overheard from the roomate:
Want to know when you’re ready to move on to the next level of competition, how about when you throw three STRAIGHT no-hitters; that’s what Patrick Schuster of Mitchell High School in Florida just accomplished.
“He’s on a roll and he’s got confidence in every pitch he’s throwing right now,” Mitchell head coach Scot Wilcox said of his ace. “That’s why we’re seeing so much success out of him.”
In addition to the no-hitter, in his last start the University of Florida-bound senior added in 16 strikeouts and only allowed 3 baserunners, one a hit batsman and two on errors. As if that wasn’t enough, Schuster also spun another no-hitter in the beginning of the season. Over his three consecutive no-nos Schuster has 43 Ks and through the 48 innings he’s thrown this season he has allowed a grand total of 9(!) hits total. A number of pro scouts were in attendance for Schuster’s latest gem, although I’m not clear where he ranks in terms of the draft prospects this year.
Schuster will vie for his 4th straight no-hitter on Monday.
Thanks to loyal reader The Sister here are two excellent doppelganger options for you to enjoy as well as one that my own carefully honed eye spotted last night. Please make sure to vote in the polls below and then visit the permanent doppelgangers page to enjoy the many others we’ve assembled.
Nicknamed “The Baseball Monster” by my friends and I, Vladimir Guerrero strikes fear into the hearts of opposing pitchers everywhere; there’s no pitch he can’t hit, no matter how far out of the strike zone it might be, and when he makes contact, the ball goes a long long way. Once graced with the speed of a gazelle, Guerrero would relentlessly run down balls in the outfield before unleashing his absolute cannon of an arm. These days, his movements look like those of an 85 year old man, the years on the hard concrete surface in Montreal taking their toll. Guerrero is also the inspiration for my current fantasy baseball team name: My Two Vlads. There was a time when Arsenio Hall was the king of night-time entertainment; he was hailed as the successor to Johnny Carson and his trademark audience “woofs” took the nation by storm. He also managed to find time to co-star in the epic comedy movie Coming to America, which is on television somewhere, every other week. It is quite possible these men are long-lost brothers.
Thanks to Julio Lugo’s recent knee surgery, career backup and minor-leaguer Nick Green was given the chance to break camp as a member of the Boston Red Sox Opening Day roster. While he hasn’t done much in his MLB career, Green is a maximum effort type of guy, and in addition to the Sox he’s appeared in games for the Tampa Bay Rays, Seattle Mariners, Atlanta Braves and New York Yankees, although he’s only racked up 803 ABs since 2004 in the bigs. A pint-sized receiver, Wes Welker doesn’t seem like much to look at, except the little guy features blazing speed, excellent agility and the ability to make defenders miss. All of which has led 213 receptions in two years with the New England Patriots. During the season Welker is known for his amazing skills in open space and for an epic porn ‘stache that is just plain filthy; he also has dreamy eyes.
Thanks to their lack of a true top-flight center fielder, Reed Johnson, after unceremoniously being dropped from the Toronto Blue Jays made his way over to the Chicago Cubs where he has provided little pop from the bat but excellent defense. He’s also well-known across baseball for his large goatee that he usually lets grow out as the season progresses. Leading the heavy-metal band Anthrax, Scott Ian is ALSO known for his outlandish length goatees, as well as for the band’s hard-driving licks. He also is married to Meatloaf’s daughter and dropped his real last name “Rosenfeld” when performing, I guess because Jews can’t perform hard-rock. Whaddya think, doppelgangers?
I don’t know what it is about baseball players that inspires such wacky injures; maybe it’s too much downtime, maybe they just aren’t that bright, I dunno, but just type in “bizarre baseball injuries” on a search engine to come up with hundreds of examples of ballplayer silliness.
Young Cincinnati Reds outfielder Chris Dickerson is the latest casualty to make it into the weird injury annals, sustaining a large bump on his forehead thanks to an unfortunate run-in, with a hotel revolving door.
My ‘real’ story is I hit my head on the rim during a celebrity slam dunk contest,” Dickerson joked. “They do need to do something about that door. It’s a deathtrap waiting to happen. I can only imagine what happens with people less coordinated than me. I’m a little clumsy, but a pretty coordinated guy. I should be able to fly through that thing easy. I struggle with it every day.
Now, I get that many baseball players are not the definition of athletic, but you’d think a simple revolving door wouldn’t be too much for someone whose life has been built around athletic feats. Perhaps, from now on, Dickerson should have the hotel doormen take care of opening passages for him…
[MLB.com]
The Boston Red Sox were extremely fortunate that their home opener had to be postponed; were it not fans at the game would likely have been without a most important condiment, ketchup. Consider the butterfly effect, wherein the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can have great affect long-term, because the Sox may have just avoided such a catastrophe. In Sydney, Ohio, far away from Yawkey Way, a truck was stolen by a disgruntled employee, that wouldn’t seem to have any relation to the Red Sox, but it turns out the truck was carrying 996 bottles of Heinz ketchup ultimately destined to arrive at Fenway. Instead, Christopher Kindle (right), in a dispute with his trucking company, stole the truck and disappeared. The company didn’t notice until they received an email stating the truck had never arrived at its intended destination in Norton, MA. After finding out the importance of the ketchup, the company dispatched another truck and actively sought to find the first one. Police ultimately caught up with Kindle, who lead them to the truck’s location, in Baxter, Tennessee, far far far away from any delicious Fenway Franks.
Had the game not been delayed, it is possible that Opening Day at Fenway would have seen a lot of naked hot dogs, missing America’s favorite ketchup. Had there been no ketchup, angry fans might have thrown wrappers on the field, there, a Sox player might have slipped, injuring himself for the season, flushing the team’s championship hopes down the drain one game into the season. The thought of returning to mediocrity with our baseball team might have turned New England (even more) into a giant wallowing pit of misery, leading to depression, causing mass absences from schools and job sites around the region. This massive slow-down on the economy, coupled with the larger recession would lead to financial disaster for most of the banks and larger corporations in the area, following their collapse, and the inevitable fall into anarchy that would ensue, it is likely that by the end of this weekend, people would be cannibalizing their neighbors, living in the woods with painted faces, wearing fur clothes and without any sense of order and society.
All thanks to no ketchup.
We should all be thankful that second truck was rapidly dispatched!
The Chicago White Sox sometimes go by the moniker of The Pale Hose, but I was unfamiliar with this nickname for the team…
CC Sabathia may have floundered badly in his first start with the Yankees, but at least he has a decent place to rest his head when the team arrives in NYC. The Sabathia clan, CC, his wife Amber and their three kids will be residing in sunny Alpine, NJ, with neighbors the likes of Sean Combs, Mary J. Blige, Stevie Wonder, Chris Rock and Britney Spears. I bet the block parties are BANGING! Somehow, the Sabathia’s will have to make do in this 12,000 square foot manse, situated on a mere 2 acres. The house was listed for $15 million, but CC STOLE it with an offer of $14.9 million in cash. I hope he has enough money to put grass seed down and maybe buy a couple panini makers or something, after all, the man is ONLY making $23 million this year…
[NJ Report via The Sporting News]
When he arrived on the scene, the portly Bobby Jenks was a godsend to the Chicago White Sox, helping lead the team to victory in the World Series. Since then he’s been an efficient closer, with an 88% save rate and is very noticeable out on the field for his large girth and long goatee, which he often has bleach dyed. Last year for Mother’s Day, Jenks and several other White Sox dyed their facial hair pink to honor their mom’s. Back in the day, you were no one if you didn’t have at least 50 troll dolls arranged around your house or desk. With their silly hair, and protruding bellies, the dolls were supposed to help bring luck, although they were more likely to instead bring dollars to their manufacturers instead. It’s possible that rubbing Jenks produces good luck, but you’re also likely to induce noxious gas…regardless, I think it’s fair to say these two share quite the resemblance.
For all the other doppelgangers, make sure to visit the permanent page here, and also please vote in the poll below!
As awful as the product on the field is, all 6 Washington Nationals fans can take solace in at least that they play in a gorgeous new ball-park. Unfortunately, the District’s government is intent on ruining the beauty of the stadium. On Wednesday, 4 new public works of art were revealed at the stadium just inside the center field gates featuring former stars of Washington baseball past, Walter Johnson, Frank Howard and Josh Gibson. In addition, a giant mobile was hung by the food concessions on the first base line. Soon, fans may actually prefer to see the awful play on the field, if only to erase the awful memory of these works of “art.”
The statues were designed by Israeli-born sculptor Omri Amrany, who is now based in Highwood, Illinois and who specializes in sports art. He may want a new specialty. Intending to use the bronze and capture the speed of the game, Amrany instead made the players look like they have multiple limbs and tumorous growths on their backs. Amrany says that the bronze growths that push out from the players’ backs and legs are meant somehow to indicate the momentum of their actions; that their multiple limbs are meant to convey the players’ moving parts. Instead, they make the players nearly unrecognizable and ruin the overall pieces.
The mobile, actually comprised of 4 different mobiles was designed by Washington-based artist Walter Kravitz and while less awful than the bronze statues are boring and uninspired. Featuring wacky cut-outs of players in Scooby-Doo-type colors they left one child who saw them saying, “I really don’t like how they did the bodies.” And if you can’t impress kids with your art, then just get out of the game.
Fortunately, these works only cost $600,000 out of the public coffers. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE public funding of art, I think it is an extremely important thing for our government to do, I just wish they had picked better artists…However, considering how middling the Nationals are likely to be for the near future, maybe these statues make perfect sense…
I like Teddy Kennedy, I think he’s an awesome Senator and I’m glad he represents me in Congress. He’s a dedicated public servant and has done much for the people of the United States. It’s a good thing, because he doesn’t have a future pitching in the bigs..
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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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