Archive for the 'Baseball' Category



03
Aug
09

Yankees Go Green With Envy

Carl Pavano was so ineffectual and rarely seen on the field for the New York Yankees that the team’s DL became derisively known as the “Pavano.” In 4 seasons as a Yankee, Pavano won a grand total of 9 games, meaning that the Yanks effectively paid him $4+ million per win. This season, after signing a 1-year $1.5 million contract with the Indians, Pavano has already won 9 games this season, in 20 less innings than he threw over the course of Yankees tenure.

The Yankees clearly are disappointed, so much so they’ve gone green with envy — or at least their old home has. The destruction of the old Yankee Stadium is taking a little while, and in the meantime, nature has weeded her way back in. Where once fat, obnoxious, disgusting New York Yankees fans bellowed and hollered, now weeds, vines and other fauna are working their way through the concrete.

4853242

[WCBS]

31
Jul
09

Bat Man Takes in a Bisons/PawSox Game

batbatcrowdDespite having gone to many baseball games I have never caught a foul ball. Not since a Little League game have I managed to snag one, I was close twice, but never close enough. I’ve certainly never been in a good enough spot to score a bat if one of the hitters accidentally let loose. I would be way WAY more psyched to get a bat than a ball. Plus, catching a bat is about 78% more bad-ass.

However, the Erie County Health Department is trying to find an as yet unknown fan who caught a live bat at a AAA game between the Buffalo Bisons and Pawtucket Red Sox. During Tuesday’s game the man reached out and snagged the nominally nocturnal creature, much to the chagrin of some health department employees who were also in the stands.

The brave fan released the bat after holding it for a brief time.

[Newsday]

31
Jul
09

Jose Rijo Finds a New Career Path

jose_rijoSo, what path do you take if you are fired from your last job for suspected fraud and a series of irregularities? If you’re former major leaguer and then former Washington Nationals executive Jose Rijo, you turn to politics. Which, I suppose makes sense, if you’re already used to shaking down baseball prospects it’s a relatively easy step up to fleecing an entire city.

Formerly serving in the front-office of the Nationals, with responsibilities including over-seeing the team’s Dominican academy — out of which came a prospect with a forged identity and a series of questions regarding skimming of bonuses from player — Rijo was less than stellar and canned by the team in an attempt to avoid further (legal) problems.

Rijo is now running to become the mayor of his Dominican hometown, San Cristobal where he campaigns door-to door nearly every day. “Here [in the US], he’s been somewhat humiliated,” a source close to Rijo said, “but down there [in the Domincan] he’s still like the Godfather, larger than life.”

Raul_Mondesi_0001The competition to become mayor though will be tough as Rijo faces off against another former big leaguer, none other than Raul Mondesi!

God, I hope they hold dozens of debates and they are all televised. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. And, in case you were wondering, for his career, Mondesi went 3-9 against Rijo with a double and 3 punchados.

[Washington Post]

30
Jul
09

F#$K F#$K F#$K F#$K F#$K F#$K

boston_red_sox_mnv_01The NY Times (part owner of the Red Sox) are reporting that both Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz were on the list of players who tested positive in 2003.

Fuck.

Fuck.

False positive? False hope? I still love Ortiz, but if this is true…sigh…I don’t even know. Ugh.

No name surprises me, but some can still make me sad.

[NY Times]

29
Jul
09

Buehrle Celebrates Perfection With Whisky

Buehrle-Wise-Crown-Royal-XRWhen he pitched his first no-hitter, Mark Buehrle purchased watches for all of his teammates and coaches as a “thank you” gift for being a part of his moment. After pitching the 18th perfect game in MLB history last Thursday, Buehrle took the time to get another gift for his teammates, this time purchasing each of them a specially packaged bottle of Crown Royal XR.

Each bottle came with embroidery on the velvet pouch saying “Thank you,” the players name, Mark Buerhle Perfect Game and July 23, 2009. Pretty neat!

That said, DeWayne Wise who made one of the best catches of the year, let alone the best catch ever to preserve a perfect game, just gets a bottle of liquor just like everyone else. C’mon Buehrle, you have a $56 million contract, let’s throw something a bit more impressive at DeWayne than just a $140 bottle of liquor, he saved your perfecto! Buy him a car or something, I mean, REALLY!

[Home Run Derby]

29
Jul
09

The Worst Possible News

27131_Scully-Vincent-EdwardFrom the LA Times comes the worst news of the entire MLB season: after the 2010 season Vin Scully expects to retire.

“God willing, I will probably come back for one more year,” Scully said in a phone interview. “At this moment, my health is excellent, and I’m leaning toward one more year.”

And then retire?

“Yes, that makes sense,” he said.

Next year would be the 81 year old Vin’s 61st in baseball, all spent broadcasting games for the Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers.

I would happily have Vin Scully be the voice of ALL baseball games so that even if you’re watching the Reds/Pirates you get Vin. Hell, he can still do the Dodgers game, I just love to hear him call a game. One of the best things about having the MLB package is getting to listen to Vin. I always get INFURIATED when the player automatically goes to the non-Vin broadcast, why listen to someone else, no matter how good, if they aren’t Vin Scully? We have 15 months left to enjoy Vin on the air, I suggest you get busy.

Also, in a very morbid way, I am kind of interested in the idea of Vin dying on the air and describing seeing the light; which would probably be the most incredible bit of television ever. Tell me you wouldn’t be interested in hearing that.

[LA Times]

28
Jul
09

Cuz This is THRILLER

When you show up to a minor league game and get stuck in a rain delay, there isn’t much entertainment left for you. Unless you were at the Long Palm Beach Cardinals game the other day where Casey Mulligan, an infielder relief pitcher took to the field and did a damn fine Thriller dance. Replete with single batting glove, Mulligan goes all out, it’s just a shame that whoever is videotaping it is with a talkative annoying little kid. I wanna see the moves son! Just because you were born 20 years after the song came out doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.

The Cardinals would be smart to immediately reward Mulligan and bump him up a level.

[With Leather]

24
Jul
09

This Day in History

ap_varitek_arod_080727_ssv5 years ago today the fortunes of the Boston Red Sox changed forever. As a birthday present from my lovely sisters, we went to the last game of a series between the Red Sox and Yankees. Every game was heated, full of passion and dislike for the opposing side.

When we got to the stadium it wasn’t 100% that the game was going to be played. Rain had come through during the night and stuck around, but fortunately by mid-afternoon it had disappeared.

With Bronson Arroyo on the mound facing off against Tanyon Sturtze all of us in attendance knew we were in for a pitching duel…

Under the overhang, about 35 rows from the Pesky Pole, my sisters and I got into the game. With 2 outs in the top of the 3rd inning, up 3-0, Alex Rodriguez strode to the plate. With adrenaline pumping, Arroyo ended up flinging a pitch in that struck A-Rod on the shoulder. Alex took exception to that, despite him struggling at the plate; he believed that the pitch was purposeful. It wasn’t. After jawing at Bronson for a moment, catcher Jason Varitek stood up and got in Alex’s face. A-Rod challenged Varitek, the two of them threw some F-bombs in each other’s face and then BOOM, ‘Tek’s mitt and fist met in the middle of A-Rod’s face and the brawl was on.

I stood up on my chair quite literally screaming for blood. “I WANT TO SEE A-ROD BLLLEEEEEEEEEEEED,” hurled forth from me. “A-Rod is a Tool” was my next chant and I got my whole section in on it. The brawl was excellent, the Red Sox took command of the situation but they still remained behind in runs.

The game got crazy from there, entering the 9th with the Yankees still up, although the lead was whittled down to 9-8. Mariano Rivera, Mr Automatic came in to boos and disgust from the Fenway Faithful. Our exuberance from the fight still was there but the back-and-forth of the game had left many drained. Did the Sox have a little more moxie in them?

Entering the game, Rivera was in the midst of one of the greatest seasons by a closer, his ERA was a miniscule 0.89, in 50 innings all season he had given up 1 HR. In his entire career Rivera had given up 1 walk-off home run. With Dave McCarty on first, still down a run, and with 1 out, up came Bill Mueller. Before he got to the plate I turned to my sisters and said, “Watch this, he’s going to hit a home run.” Mostly all wishful thinking, I wanted the Sox win and I had Mueller on my Fantasy team and could really have used the HR. Down in the count 3-1, Rivera let loose with another of his famous cutters.

The pitch comes in, CRACK! The ball flies in the air; stuck under the pavilion I couldn’t see the flight of the ball, so I RAN down the aisle tracking it in the air. I reached the edge of the roof just in time to see the ball sail into the Red Sox bullpen. YES! WE WIN! I start screaming. I high-5 the rando standing in his seat next to me, he’s going crazy. I’m going crazy! I run up the aisle high-5’ing everyone. The stadium is ROCKING, the entire building is alive. We came back. It was the single best game of baseball I’ve ever been to.

Of course, that single game changed everything. The mystique was gone, Rivera was mortal. When the ALCS rolled around and it came down to the bottom of the 9th in game 4, once more it was Bill Mueller up against Rivera. The memory of July 24th rang out in my brain. “We’re going to do it!” I knew we would come back. We had to. It was meant to be.

All thanks to July 24th, 2004, the date of the best baseball game I’ve ever been to and I was there.

[WEEI]

23
Jul
09

Mattingly Spits, Not Swallows (His Pride)

20090722-232212-pic-900632050_t607I don’t know how or why it is, but ball-players sure do seem to spit more than the average person. Maybe it’s the wide expanse of green that makes them salivate more but regardless, spitting is an integral part of the game.

Growing up in the Yankees clubhouse, Taylor (son of Don) Mattingly must have seen thousands upon thousands of spittle projectiles launched. Now 24, the former 42nd round pick of the Yankees in 2003 was arrested Tuesday night for battery and criminal mischief after allegedly pushing his mother and then spitting in her face. 

I love family reunions!

The reason he was so upset? Taylor’s mom reportedly sent him a text message insulting his girlfriend and father. Taylor was also upset that his mother had canceled the cable at the family’s ranch where he was staying. Which of course, led to him flipping over tables and breaking windows. Standard fare really.

I for one am not surprised, I mean, I look at this mug-shot and all I can see is giant douchebag. In fact, I’m submitting this photo to wikipedia for the douchebag definition page.

[Courier Press]

23
Jul
09

Free Tickets in Exchange for Buttplay

Gorshinriddler_JPGAs a means to promote awareness and get more men screened for prostate cancer, the Tampa Bay Rays will hold free screenings Thursday at Tropicana Field before the game.

For participating in the test, men will receive 2 free tickets to a game during the team’s August 18-23 home-stand. Last year more than 400 men came and were checked out as part of the same event.

Starting at 7 am, the screenings will take place in the center field concourse, which is exactly where I would want a stranger’s finger to be inserted into my anus.

As important as prostate screens are, there HAS to be an easier/better way to get free tickets to a game…

[Tampa Bay Online]

22
Jul
09

I Am Jack’s Throbbing Doppelganger

After being the choice of many for the Cy Young award last season, instead, Justin Verlander suffered through the worst of his young career. He has bounced back in spectacular fashion this season though and remains the only bright spot on my otherwise miserable fantasy baseball pitching staff. One of the best actors of his generation, Ed Norton has avoided the pitfalls of over-saturation for the time being and has had the fortune of being in some incredible movies. Of course, he’s also incredible, so it goes both ways. Verlander and Norton go only one way, to the PERMANENT doppelgangers page! (We hope! Vote in the poll below!)

VerlanderNorton

h/t to Saint Dynamite for the tip!

22
Jul
09

You Know What I Like About Doppelgangers?

Tim Lincecum has dominated baseball the last 2.5 years, unfortunately, he plays his games for the San Francisco Giants who have zero offense. Despite that he won the first of his Cy Youngs and is on his way to earning several more. The pint-sized ace wears his hair long and doesn’t take any guff from the older kids. In 1993, Wiley Wiggins — who incidentally looks like this now — played young Mitch Kramer in Dazed and Confused; the young future freshman phenom pitcher who narrowly escapes the evil clutches of Ben Affleck. I have zero doubt in my mind that, at some point this season, Randy Johnson has chased Lincecum around the clubhouse with a paddle. I also have little doubt that Lincecum has dumped paint onto Bengie Molina from a hotel balcony.

As ever, please vote in the poll below and visit the permanent Doppelgangers page by going HERE.

LincecumMitch




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