“Stop running away from me Derek. I know we can make this work.”
h/t to Ben for the photo.
Archive for the 'Awesome' Category
19
Oct
09
A-Rod Gloms on with Both Hands
Viana Esporte is a low-level Brazilian soccer club and found themselves up 2-0 in the 81st minute. However, they learned that the team closest to them in the standings had advanced ahead of them thanks to winning their final game 5-1. Because goal differential was a tie-breaker, Viana Espotre would need 9 goals to advance.
Then they did it, 9 goals in 9 minutes. I wonder if this is like how Ichiro claims he could hit lots of home runs if he wanted to but just doesn’t; are these soccer players able to just score at will and choosing not to?
I will say it looks like the defense just totally gives up at multiple points, they aren’t even half-assing it, more like one-eighth-assing.
I am HORRIFIED. During the Minnesota/Penn State this past weekend the Penn State football team twitter feed reported a truly SHOCKING story, “From the Centre Daily Times: Security guards confiscated two-thirds of a bottle of Captain Morgan’s from the Minnesota cheerleaders.”
College students DRINKING, AT A FOOTBALL GAME! ACK! What has this country come to, I remember the days when everyone would just go to the malt-shop after the game, have some soda, and then park somewhere and do some uninspired awkward heavy-petting. What happened to THAT America? The one where teens only drank alcohol because the tough kid in the leather jacket spiked the punch bowl as his doofy friends laughingly looked on and kept a look-out.
And to help with the visualization of these alcohol-swilling harlots, via Uncoached comes some photos of the team at an earlier non-plastered phase.
19
Oct
09
Give an Assist to the Beach Ball
During Saturday’s Liverpool/Sunderland match in the English Premier League the Liverpool goalie was powerless to stop a shot from Sunderland’s Darren Bent early in the game.
The goal, which proved to be the difference in the game, was controversial because after Bent shot the ball it ricocheted off a beach ball that had fallen on the field, before redirecting into the goal. The league officials later said that there should have been a drop-ball after it hit a beach ball en route to the goal.
19
Oct
09
Those Moves Have to be Illegal
This has nothing to do with sports, but who cares, because it’s my blog and I think y’all should see Shakira performing on this past weekend’s Saturday Night Live. Goddamn! I didn’t know bodies could move like that. I also don’t know why Shakira hasn’t called me or nothing, I mean, I’m into her, why wouldn’t she feel the same towards me?
I once blew a near sure-thing hookup with a French-Canadian who looked identical to Shakira. True story, and still one of my biggest failures.
As their manager hunt continues, one of the names who would like to be on the list is former Tribe skipper Mike Hargrove. When he was at the helm, from 1991-1999 Hargrove took the Indians to 5 postseasons and 2 World Series (losing to the Braves in ’95 and the Marlins in ’97.)
Since being fired resigning from the Seattle Mariners midway through 2007 Hargrove has been out of the majors; he has though been managing the Liberal (KS) BeeJays a semi-pro team he played on while in college.
Wanting to be on the list doesn’t just make it so, according the Cleveland Plain Dealer he hasn’t been interviewed and isn’t likely to do so. The likely candidates right now include recently fired Nationals manager Manny Acta, Bobby Valentine and Travis Fryman among others.
This marks the first time in history that a man is looking to dump liberal BeeJays for the opportunity to get involved in a hot mess. I mean, if they’re free-flowing why ever leave?
[Yahoo!]
Sunday’s Panthers/Buccaneers game wasn’t must-watch TV for most NFL fans, after all, who wants to watch misery? If you didn’t see the game though you probably have no idea about the pummeling that Panther Dante Wesley gave to Clifton Smith during a punt return. Smith gets knocked unconscious, Wesley sparks a mini-brawl on the field and then is ultimately ejected from the game.
Football!
The perfect thing to help you into your weekend has come along from the good folks over at Mental Floss; here is an awesome quiz, “Who Said It? Dictator of NFL Coach?”
With questions like “Short speeches make long friendships. I learned that a long time ago,” and the answer being either Bill Belichick or Mahmoud Ahadinejad the choices aren’t easy. I scored a 92 myself.
Good luck!
16
Oct
09
Don’t Leave Me Hanging
Last week’s Wisconsin/Ohio State game was not going especially well for the Badgers. QB Scott Tolzien had 2 interceptions returned for touchdowns and had very few good plays. When he finally gets one he comes off the field PUMPED and looking for some love; his teammates do not pick him up.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
22-year-old German Matthas Schlitte has been arm-wrestling competitively since he was 16 and it only takes one look at him to see that he has dedicated himself to being a top arm-wrestler. That’s because Schlitte’s right forearm is MASSIVE, measuring 18 inches, which is a huge contrast to his left arm, which looks puny and tiny in comparison.
Schlitte’s giant right-arm has been successful leading him to first place finishes in several competitions including the Iron Curtain Armwars in Blackburn and the German Championships in Haltern.
Hmm…started at 16, one forearm DRASTICALLY is bigger than the other, what would a 16-year-old be doing so much that he would increase the muscle mass in just his right arm so much…hmm…there has to be something else besides arm-wrestling that led to this girth.
Oh, wait! I got it! Masturbation! Well-played Matthas, I get it, you didn’t want everyone to know how much you were jerking it so you went all out and happened to be good at arm-wrestling too. Hey, it’s not your fault buddy, you were 16 and feeling as these new and exciting feelings, plus that gust of wind hit you in just the right way and you couldn’t help but abuse yourself. Well, at least you’re putting your special purpose to good use. And they say masturbation won’t get you anywhere…
Normally swords are a bit out of place at the Winter Olympics — although I would pay good money to see the curling teams duke it out on the ice — but at the Vancouver games the Integrated Security Unit announced that Sikhs who are participating in the games will be allowed to wear kirpans — a ceremonial sword considered a sacred religious symbol — around the venues.
Anyone wearing a kirpan will be required to inform security before entering any of the venues, providing they follow these stipulations.
- All articles — including unshorn hair, turban, comb, steel bracelet, kirpan and soldier’s shorts — of faith must be worn.
- The maximum total length of the kirpan, including the sheath, may not exceed 19 centimetres with a blade of not more than 10 centimetres and a handle of five centimetres or less.
- The kirpan must be worn in keeping with Sikh traditions, including being secured into its sheath, attached to a fabric belt and worn across the torso.
- The kirpan must be worn under clothing and not easily accessible.
If any of the conditions aren’t met security can refuse admission. The change was brought about because a study conducted by the security officials found that there are very few incidents where a kirpan was used as a weapon.
Most of us will never have the chance to get close to either Tom Brady or his lovely bride Gisele Bundchen, but if you have $10.9 million lying around you can at least putter around his old pad; on Monday Tom Tremendous listed his luxury duplex penthouse condo on the market.
In 2006 Tom, showing excellent business acumen, purchased an entire limestone mansion, originally built in 1871, converting it into 4 condos plus the penthouse. His 5,311 square foot apartment was designed by the same designer who recently did the Mandarin Oriental Boston and features multiple gas fireplaces, a gourmet kitchen, roof deck, high-tech entertainment media room as well as panoramic views of the Charles River and Cambridge. The three bedrooms are on the lower floor and the master bedroom has amenities like a steam shower, his-and-her dressing rooms and a private balcony. The apartment also comes with 4 garage parking spaces plus an outdoor space, which in Boston is ridiculously extravagant and awesome.
With Gisele pregnant and his son Jack with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynihan, Brady must be looking for a bit more room for his growing family. Tom originally moved to Boston when he first became a Patriot, liking the feel of being in the city, now that he’s a family man it must be time to head to the suburbs. I just want to make sure I’m in the same PTA that Gisele joins.
The Slanch Report 
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