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07
Aug
09

The Giants Fail at Bobbleheads

By slanch 8 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , ,

0807_miller_bobblehead

Bobblehead promotions are one of the easiest ways to entice fans to come to the ballpark; after all, who doesn’t love free collectibles of their favorite players? Unlike the Cleveland Indians who know how to make the coolest and most interesting bobbleheads (here, here and here), the San Francisco Giants marketing staff has some work to do. That is, unless you’re some HUGE Jon Miller fan…

I know I’ve been waiting my WHOLE life for the chance to have Miller’s bobbing Hawaiian-shirted visage grace my home. And look at that smile! Now isn’t that precisely what you want staring at you as you doze off to sleep at night?

I thought promotions were something you were supposed to get you to WANT to go to the game…Do not WANT.

[San Francisco Giants]

07
Aug
09

Do The Jockeys Get to Ride the Cougars?

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , ,

news-cougar1_t350As part of the advertisement campaign for the Cougar II Handicap Race at the Del Mar Thoroughbred Club, the always innovative race track held a Miss Cougar 2009 contest. Because just because you’re at the race track on a Wednesday doesn’t mean you can’t try and meet some mature ladies!

Last year’s race had a mere 9,213 fans in attendance but thanks to the promotion — and free admission and half-price concessions — this year’s tilt had 13,245 fans.

Among the fans in the grandstand were

Tom Wold, 29, of San Diego [who] arrived with four friends he had e-mailed about the contest. ‘I said, let’s round up all my under-30 friends and let’s get over here,’ he said, holding up his beer. ‘We want to meet the winners and console the losers.’

Rosie Goldstein, (above right) a real estate broker from Tierrasanta took home the crown and title of Miss Cougar 2009, earning a free day at the races for her and three friends. What a lame prize! For Goldstein, who describes herself as “in her 40s,” this contest was very important, after all, she defines a cougar as “a woman who’s independent, in control and not afraid to take chances.”

“I hold my head up proud,” said Goldstein, “I have never felt more beautiful than this year.”

[Sign On San Diego]

06
Aug
09

Supposedly

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags:

According to WEEI, David Ortiz is going to have some sort of response/answers etc to the charges that he tested positive for some sort of PED in 2003 later this afternoon.

Stay tuned…?

UPDATE: Now there ISN’T going to be a press conference today. Ortiz said he doesn’t have anything new to report yet. Snooze.

06
Aug
09

Call it Getting Lucky with the Irish

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , , ,

oleary1Troy O’Leary, one of the most non-Irish ballplayers to ever suit up for the Boston Red Sox hasn’t been seen in the majors since he played with the Cubs in 2003.

Troy’s ex-wife, Annette Gray O’Leary (left) has been working as an assistant principal at Kyrene Del Cielo Elementary School, at least until June when it was discovered that in the evening hours she was working as an escort.

Going by the name Taya Taylor on various online escort sites, O’Leary advertises that for $450 she provides one of my favorite experiences — the full “Girlfriend Experience.”

Local parents, such as Stacey Ambert were outraged saying:

How could this not be found out before she got a job? It seems like there should have been some research. If there’s a job on the side that’s fine, but if it’s something that compromises character, especially when the school is promoting how much character is important and character counts, then that’s an issue.

I don’t see what the big deal is; it’s not like she was banging any of the parents — probably.

And it’s an elementary school, where, as the Prez notes on Barstool Sports where I first saw this story, “Who cares if the assistant principal is an escort. Kids that age wouldn’t know what that means if she was riding dick right in the middle of their four square game.”

[AZ Central via  Barstool Sports]

06
Aug
09

Them Demons be Crusty

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: ,

I don’t care at all for BMX or motocross, but if you’re on a team called the Crusty Demons I’ll throw up a gallery of some of your moves. Take note other motocross teams!

4_t520x340

[The Daily]

06
Aug
09

It’s Still Better than Being Named Rusty Kuntz

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

By far the best player in baseball, when Phat Albert steps up to the plate with his smug face on, as a pitcher you know you’re in trouble. But before you fret and start thinking about the many many miles of home runs that he has hit, take heart that some anonymous ESPN staffer is on your side. ESPN’s player card for Albert Pujols finally has the phonetics right for pronouncing his name. Enjoy!

pujols

And I think we can all agree that Albert has had just a slightly better career than ol’ Rusty Kuntz…

[ESPN]

05
Aug
09

World’s Best Waterslide

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: ,

I don’t have any idea for certain that this is real. What I do know is that it is super dope. I’m simultaneously jealous and hopeful that no one ever makes me do this. If this is real, it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.

[Barstool Sports]

05
Aug
09

The LFL is Sure to Delight

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Football and Hot Women
Tags: , ,

46612138Sure, the NFL season is getting underway with training camps in full swing. Starting Sunday there will be preseason football being played, but why care about that when there’s an unpstart new football league to follow. No, not the UFL, which will prove to have the same shelf-life as the XFL or USFL, I’m talking about the Lingerie Football League. The season starts up in September and should serve to push the women’s movement ahead lightyears.

Here are some photos from some recent practices for the Miami Caliente and the New York Majesty, enjoy!

[Fox 13]

05
Aug
09

This Race Sounds Like Fun

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , ,

Winning the Tour de France earns you something in the area of 3/4 of a million Euros plus the respect of European cycling fans — something you obviously CAN’T put a price on. Winning the Single Speed World Championship doesn’t come with the same kind of prize.

Started probably in 1995, the SSWC is a mountain-bike race where all the competitors tackle a daunting course with just one gear on their bikes. Featuring a myriad of interesting characters in the race, the winner doesn’t take home a yellow jersey or a trophy, instead the winner gets a MANDATORY tattoo — where is up to you.

sswc-3Where the Tour de France has rigorous drug-testing, the SSWC considers you like a doper if you’re NOT hung-over during the race. And forget those classy lycra bike uniforms with sponsors names all over them, at the SSWC ridiculous costumes and outfits are de rigueur.  Think frilly dresses, neon unitards, Helga wigs, fishnets, feather boas, and faux fur, and that’s just on the dudes. The big prize for the participants, besides bragging rights, was a bottle opener with their placement number on it, but only for the first 150 of the 350 participants. SWEET!

Don’t worry, the participants aren’t the only ones in ridiculous outfits, with rambunctious (hard-partying) fans lining the course and celebrating the rides as they roll by.

The 2008 race was in Napa, California, the 2009 one will be in September in Durango, New Zealand. Start your training now!

[Outside and SSWC09]

05
Aug
09

Smoke Weed Every Day

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Douches and Football
Tags: , ,

charles-rogersThe biggest joke of the NFL draft every year is when are the Lions going to take ANOTHER wide-receiver. After taking one with their first pick multiple years in a year, much to the detriment of the team, the Lions finished last season as the worst team in NFL history. Success!

One of the biggest bust picks for them was Charles Johnson, a receiver out of Michigan State who was supposed to help stretch the field and be a dynamic play-maker. Instead, he corraled 36 passes for 440 yards and a mere 4 TDs over three seasons, taking nearly as many trips to the Injured Reserve list as to the end-zone.

One of reasons Rogers never lived up to the hype of being the number 2 overall selection? In an interview with ESPN’s Outside the Lines Rogers admitted that he used to smoke weed “every day.”

Since the Lions dropped him like a bad habit, Rogers has had various legal problems, and is yet to find another NFL team willing to take a chance on him.

Considering that EVERY SINGLE YEAR he was in college he FAILED a drug test, I for one, am SHOCKED by this revelation. Having signed a 6-year contract when he was drafted, including $14.2 million in guranteed bonuses ($8.5 million of which he was forced to pay back to the team), that can definitely buy you more than a couple ounces of some fine-ass hydro…

I mean, I’ve heard…

[Detroit Free-Press]

04
Aug
09

Mark Madsen, Would-Be Internet Mogul

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball
Tags: , ,

marksits_16Professional towel-waver, bench-warmer and occasional basketball player, Mark Madsen has a lot of free time on his hands. Especially when he doesn’t have to worry about playing in those pesky NBA games and so he has taken the opportunity to become something of an Internet entrepreneur by buying up various domain names.

For instance, he recently purchased the domain name P2P.com on eBay for $111,000. Unfortunately, it turns out the person he bought the domain from DIDN’T ACTUALLY OWN IT. OOOPS!

Using his eBay name thecollins2 and his self-started company, Woodside Technology Group, Madsen has bought and sold a number of domains, even getting involved on a message-board where domain name investors congregate. In July, 2006 he sold internetdating.com, as well as trying to sell FreeCreditChecks.com, carbohydrates.com and CaliforniaDUILawyers.com. Last year, he waded deep into the world of Canadian domain registration, with such winners as chocolatecandy.ca, accordians.ca, schooners.ca and, obviously, menstrualperiods.ca, reaping $21,000 from the sales.

[Fanhouse]

Weird.

04
Aug
09

Don’t Forget the Barbeque Sauce

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags: , ,

Delonte West is a marginally decent NBA player on the Cleveland Cavaliers and here is a lengthy, but worth-it video of him while waiting over 18 minutes in the drive-thru line for his KFC. I don’t know who Delonte’s buddy is, but he is a GREAT hype man, he’s on POINT with Delonte, anticipating his rhymes and just killing it. That’s a true friend.

The best part is that they are waiting on Delonte’s cousin who is supposed to be making them the chicken. Good to see that he’s taking his conditioning serious in the offseason…

Also, nice KFC aprons…

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