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04
Sep
09

Disco Hayes Coming to a Big League Park Near You?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: ,

discohayesUndrafted out of Northwestern, Chris Hayes paid his own way to Arizona for the possibility of some open tryouts with a few MLB teams and living his dream of playing in the big leagues. Someone mentioned to him that the Royals were also having a try-out.

“Where?” Hayes asked.

“Surprise,” the guy said.

“What’s the surprise?” Hayes asked.

“The town,” the guy said.

“The tryout is going to be in a surprise town?” Hayes asked.

“Exactly,” the guy said.

Amazingly, he went to the try-out and the Royals offered him a minor-league contract. Hayes, nicknamed “Disco” because his sidearm-flung fastballs all are in the 70s, doesn’t light up the radar gun, obviously, and had never in his life ever made an all-star team, at any level of baseball.

After his first year in Single A, Hayes finished the season with three times as many strikeouts as walks, and a 2.66 ERA. The Royals were unimpressed and sent him back to A ball the next year. His numbers were again impressive, again he struck out 3 times as many as he walked. They offered him a job in the front office but he wanted to keep trying for his dream. Finally, they promoted him. He pitched with a 1.64 ERA and again 3 times as many strikeouts as walks. They didn’t believe in the numbers and so held him at AA for another year. He repeated his stellar numbers AGAIN. Continue reading ‘Disco Hayes Coming to a Big League Park Near You?’

04
Sep
09

Fat, Drunk and Asleep is No Way to Get Through a Chess Tournament Son

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , ,

drunkchessPlaying chess isn’t a very physically taxing activity, but at the highest levels apparently you need to have all your faculties with you if you’re going to play. Grandmaster Vladislav Tkachiev learned that lesson the hard way when he showed up to an international tournament in Kolkata, India.

After just 15 moves he lost his round on technical grounds when he fell asleep drunk in the middle of the game. Playing India’s Praveen Kumar the highly inebriated  Tkachiev couldn’t sit still and then, like your uncle at Thanksgiving, passed out with his head on the table.

Ranked 58 in the world, despite tournament organizers’ best efforts, Tkachiev wouldn’t wake up.

Because it’s chess, he lost the match for being unable to finish within the time limit. However, while he was warned and slapped on the wrist, he was allowed to participate in the rest of the tournament.

[Reuters]

04
Sep
09

A-Rod Mounts a Mountie

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

During last night’s Blue Jays/Yankees game Alex Rodriguez went chasing after a foul ball of the bat of Lyle Overbay. Keeping his eye on the ball, Alex didn’t notice that he was on a collision course with a Canadian police officer seated along the line.

After the game A-Rod quipped, “I’m just glad she didn’t read me my rights … Oh my god, how embarrassing.”

Seems like a pretty sad way to just cop a feel of a cop.

arod2

[Blitz Corner]

04
Sep
09

It’s Over When the Game is Over

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, College, Douches and Football
Tags: ,

Last night college football’s season began. Hooray. I guess. It’s not an exciting thing for me, or anyone else who likes seeing GOOD football being played. But it happened. The game between Oregon and Boise State ended with Boise State coming out on top, much to the chagrin of the Ducks.

Senior running back LeGarrette Blount of Oregon in particular had a rough game, finishing with -5 yards on 8 carries and was tackled for a safety. Not a highlight reel game. During the spring he was also suspended from the team for an academic issue.

I would expect to see him suspended again since after yesterday’s game he went for the trifecta. He sucker-punched a Boise State player, shoved and tried to fight a teammate, then he went after the fans before he was dragged off the field by an assistant coach and security people. He’s got some FIGHT!

What he probably DOESN’T have anymore is a place on the team.

03
Sep
09

Phillies Employee Flushes His Ring Away *(UPDATED)*

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

Thanks to the security camera footage at Citizens Bank Park, the missing Phillies World Series ring has been recovered!

A janitor at the stadium found the ring and led police to it in a supply closet where he had stashed it wrapped in a paper towel.

Police are planning on filing charges against the janitor, who they believe hid the ring because he had second thoughts.

[Officer.com]

03
Sep
09

Why America Loves Ken Griffey

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , , ,

beltreIt took some prodding — not in that way — from manager Don Wakamatsu but Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre finally agreed to wear a cup when he plays in the field. Despite a BLEEDING TESTICLE from taking a grounder off the junk, Beltre still wasn’t convinced that the cup was worthwhile.

“Adrian will wear a cup tonight,” Wakamatsu said before Tuesday’s game.

In a moment of pure comic genius, teammate Ken Griffey Jr. arranged to have Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker” play when Adrian strode up to the plate for his first at-bat.

Brilliant.

[Seattle Times]

03
Sep
09

I Have GOT to Buy an NFL Team

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , ,

scroogeForbes Magazine released their annual valuations of the NFL franchises and despite a downturn in the economy the numbers are staggering.

The average NFL franchise is worth $1.042 BILLION and makes $237 million in annual revenue. That seems like a lot.

Leading the way are the Dallas Cowboys who are worth $1.65 billion, making them the most valuable sports franchise in North America and second worldwide only to Manchester United. Never mind that they haven’t won a playoff game since 1996 or a Super Bowl since 1994, somehow the Cowboys still are the name brand of NFL teams.

The Washington Redskins are second at $1.55 billion but lead the league in revenue at $345 million a year. New England is third in value at $1.361 billion but second in revenue at $302 million.

At the bottom of the barrel are the Oakland Raiders, worth a mere pittance of $745 million. In total, 18 teams are worth over a billion dollars. Not too shabby.  

[Forbes]

03
Sep
09

The Nets Hate Themselves

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball and Douches
Tags: , ,

NetsReversiblesBeing from New Jersey is bad enough, something very few residents are willing to admit. “Oh I’m from NYC” they’ll say, but last I checked Newark ain’t New York.

Then there are the New Jersey Nets, desperate to move to Brooklyn, but stuck in East Rutherford. Realizing that they are fighting a Sisyphean battle to get fan interest in their own struggling franchise, the Nets have turned to a different marketing strategy. Don’t come see US, see our OPPONENTS!

Offering a 10-game package, to see some of the actual GOOD teams in the league, including the Lakers, Celtics, Cavs and Magic you get tickets to the game, a four week subscription to the NY Post AND 5 special reversible jerseys. On one side are the Nets and on the other side is one of the aforementioned GOOD teams jerseys.

At last you can live your dream of having a Yi Jianlian and Kevin Garnett jersey!

This is simply an incredibly bad promotion. I mean, yes, the Nets WILL suck next season, they’re two marquee players both are gone and next season is going to be a nightmare, but even still, have some pride or self-respect.

And who are the douches that want to WEAR these stupid jerseys; how ashamed for even liking the Nets do you have to be to wear this?

[NBA]

03
Sep
09

Nice Joke Smart Guy

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball, Boston and Douches
Tags: , , ,

jews-fake-bomb-threat-new-jerseyBefore Wednesday’s game with the Red Sox an employee of the Rays was arrested for planting a fake bomb in what he termed a “practical joke.” Funny. I get it!

William L. Jordan, a mechanic with the team built and hid the device as a goof according to the St. Petersburg police.

“His actions were in very poor taste and do not reflect the values of the organization,” Rays vice president Rick Vaughn wrote in an e-mail.

The “bomb” was a box taped to a shelf with wires sticking out and emitting a “beeping” sound. The police were called and, realizing the severity of the situation, admitted he had put it there and apologized.

Unfortunately, the bomb squad had already been called and arrived on the scene where they confirmed it was a fake. Jordan, who has worked for the team for 3 years may not have much longer in his tenure with the team.

“This will be handled internally,” Vaughn wrote regarding whether or not Jordan would lose his job.

I gotta say, if you can plant a FAKE BOMB at your workplace and NOT get fired, that’s a hell of a leniant employer.

I guess when you have such a history of failure as the Rays do it only makes sense…

[Tampa Bay.com]

03
Sep
09

Them (Mostly) White Boys Can Shoot

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Basketball
Tags: ,

Now, I’m not one for these kinds of videos normally, but these guys sink some pretty fucking awesome shots. And they’re all from Maine! And they have a black friend! In MAINE! Amazing!

My favorites are the ones where they are on the roof of the house and the ones where they do a double or triple bank shot off the garage.

03
Sep
09

Y’arr, Who Be Parking in Me Spot

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, College and Football
Tags: , ,

MikeLeachTexas Tech football coach Mike Leach loves pirates so it was quite a happy surprise for him when he showed up to work and his parking was transformed by other members of the athletics department. I guess a Red Raider could be a pirate…

[The Wiz of Odds]

02
Sep
09

I Could Take Her

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: ,

AshleyRomeroAt less than a year old, an injury left Ashley Romero paralyzed from the waist down; at age 5 she participated in her first arm-wrestling competition.

Today, the girl-next-door-cute 18-year-old is able to walk, although with a noticeable limp, but it is the arm-wrestling that is taking her places. She left on Saturday for Porto Viro, Italy for the 31st annual World Arm Wrestling Championships as a member of the US team.

As a high school freshman she won an arm-wrestling championship at the New Mexico state fair, leading her to Team USA and joining their team.

Since joining the big leagues, success hasn’t always been easy.

“This will be my second year to compete in the world championships,” Ashley said. “Last year I competed in Canada. I broke my left arm in the championship round of the 55-kilogram division (121 pounds). I was competing against this girl from Sweden. As the match went on I heard a loud pop. I just thought the referee hit the table. It was not until I saw my opponent gasp that I knew something was wrong.”

She tried lifting her arm but could instead only feel the bone in the upper arm move. OW!

At the championships last year she qualified as both a left-hander and a right-hander, but after the injury this year she’ll settle for just going out as a right-hander.

I’m not scared. Bring it on!

[QC Sun]

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