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12
Sep
09

The Most Darling Moment of the Baseball Season

Friday’s Tigers/Blue Jays game featured a very special visitor to the mound; a 6-year-old boy in the stands who jumped out of the stands at the end of the 7th inning and went straight towards the mound. His hat falling off his head, the little boy grabbed the ball that was left on the mound for the Tigers’ next pitcher and ran back to the stands.

Security was obviously caught unawares but in a surprising bit of decency, and conferring with a police office and the boy’s uncle who was in the crowd they allowed the boy to go back to his seats and to keep the ball.

According to the uncle, his nephew misunderstood when he suggested that he go to the railing and try and get a ball. A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E.

I’m trying to find video of it, but so far it eludes me. Don’t worry though, I’m on the case!

[Detroit News]

12
Sep
09

Two Things That Don’t Go Well Together

20090912_blanketI’ve been a fan of the Cleveland Indians’ marketing staff all season, their bobblehead choices (here, here and here) have been particularly inspired. However, today’s promotion just seems a little off; all fans who enter tonight’s game against the Royals will receive an Indians logo fleece blanket. This seems like the perfect way to remember their truly offensive past logos. What a time!

Also, for some reason I just don’t associate free blankets and the Indians in a good light; that hasn’t gone so well in the past…

I’d say Progressive Insurance, who are sponsoring the giveaway, aren’t quite living up to their name.

[Cleveland Indians]

11
Sep
09

Tom Brady’s Got ANOTHER Baby Mama

Gisele-4It’s confirmed! Clearly, Tom Brady is not a fan of condoms. The long-rumored pregnancy of his new wife, Gisele Bundchen was confirmed by Tom Tremendous in an interview with Chris Berman. Hopefully that is the only time something so ugly and Brady/Gisele’s children are near one another.

During the interview Brady joked about going to the Lamaze classes with his wife saying: “Well, it couldn’t be harder than this training camp, so I’ll be prepared. The women are the ones who have to do the work, we just have to be there and support them, so it’ll be nice to do that.”

Wow. I bet Bridget Moynahan read that and just broke about 12,000 things in her home. That just has to burn her ass don’t it.

Also, I desperately need to find a pregnant lady in the Boston area who is in their class, I don’t care if she’s preggers, I’m still happy to steal Gisele away.

[ESPN]

11
Sep
09

That Seems Fast. Was That Fast?

I’m not so much of a runner myself; when I was in college and was regularly streaking it was usually more of a jaunt than a run.

Part of my distaste for running is that I am slower than slow. Like, really slow. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not fast.

Sarah though, Sarah is REALLY fast; but then, she’s a cheetah, she was genetically built that way. Here she is at her home in the Cincinnati Zoo setting a new record for cheetahs by running the 100 meters in a mere 6.13 seconds, besting her nearest (male) cheetah competitor by .06 seconds. By comparison, Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive holds the human record at 9.69 seconds. What a slowpoke!

[Barstool Sports]

11
Sep
09

I’m Sure She’ll Grow Up Happy and Positive

Nearly free of the Chicago Cubs after their sale, the Chicago Tribune can finally see the team in a light-hearted manner. Or at least one clever editor in the Birth Announcements section can where this notice was slipped in:

photo_132576897Suki and Justa Crapi Yeare of Chicago’s north side are proud to announce the birth of our daughter, Waitle Nex, born Thursday, August 20th in Los Angeles. The entire Yeare family eagerly awaits her arrival back in Chicago. The first Waitle Nex Yeare was born in Chicago in 1909. It’s too bad great-great-grandma isn’t around to see her namesake.

Baby Waitle was born several weeks premature but is somehow perfectly healthy. Doctors tell us that the chip on Waitle’s shoulder will wear down over the winter and she will be 100% healthy by spring. You should see how cute she looks with the albatross necklace around her neck.

Hey, what’s a century of failure between friends? Don’t worry Cubbies fans, now you have NEX YEARE on your side.

[Chicago Tribune]

11
Sep
09

They’re On a Boat

I don’t own a boat, I’ve never owned a boat, I’ve never spent much time on a boat, but I still find myself invariably drawn to sailing and the ocean. I can’t explain it, but my dream is to turn this blog into a giant cash-cow leading me to owning a super-yacht or the like. You know, small dreams.

So, it was with great interest I saw this video of L’Hydroptere (translates to Hydrofoil) setting a new speed record for sailboats by reaching 51.36 knots (59 MPH) in just 500 meters. Awesome.

How dope is that?!!?

11
Sep
09

Bears Can’t Count to 50

Normally the team’s logo goes in the MIDDLE of the field, but the Chicago Bears, ever the trendsetters, instead are caught here painting their logo on the 45 yard line instead. OOPS!

They don’t play at home this week, so presumably this will get fixed. You know, or not, I mean, this is the team that thought Rex Grossman was a starting quarterback in the NFL…

500x_bearsfield

[Deadspin]

10
Sep
09

The Dumbest Thing to Happen to Fantasy Sports

09072008brady_source600After Tom Brady’s knee injury knocked him out of football seven minutes into the season, and in the process knocked the Patriots out of Super Bowl contention and ruined millions of fantasy football teams, Henry Olszewski, an employee at Intermarket Insurance came up with an idea, Fantasy Sports Insurance.

“That Monday, [Olszewski] came in the office, and he was bummed out,” said Anthony Giaccone, president of Intermarket Insurance. “He asked ‘Why can’t we buy insurance for fantasy team players?'”

The Fantasy Sports Insurance guarantees that various players won’t miss more than a certain number of games, if they do, FSI will reimburse your entry fee. The three coverage options are:

  1. One key player misses 10 out of the first 15 NFL regular season games – due to injury
  2. One key player misses 8 out of the first 12 NFL regular season games – due to injury
  3. Three key players miss a combined total 18 out of the first 15 NFL regular season games – due to injury

The cost for FSI is based upon the amount of coverage you choose, the total cost is calculated at a 10% rate of the insured value, plus fees. “For example: If you choose to insure ONE player for $200 – based on a 10% per $100 insured – your FSI cost will be $20.”

To show you’re covered FSI will send off a certificate of insurance outlining the coverage and in the unfortunate situation that you need the coverage, they’ll send off a cashier’s check reimbursing you.

Don’t worry, FSI has branched out to all other fantasy sports too, but you have to be a real kind of fucked up in the head to be getting fantasy insurance for your fantasy NASCAR and hockey leagues.

[CNN and FSI]

10
Sep
09

Jeter Takes a Ride on the Iron Horse

Derek-Jeter-Rookie-Series-Limited-Edition---Photofile-Limited-Edition-Photograph-C11837076Obviously, this pains me to write, but here goes anyways; congratulations to Derek Jeter. While I’ll never be a fan of the Yankees and you continue to be embarassingly overrated at shortstop, tying Lou Gehrig’s record for most hits all-time for a Yankee is a pretty awesome feat.

Unlike other Yankees, my dislike for Jeter is solely on the field. He’s the guy you don’t want your team to have to face when the game is on the line. He loves the game, he loves to play and will do anything he can to get out on that field. He’s the ultimate competitor and has enjoyed a phenomenal career thus far.

As he’s been getting older Jeter seems to be IMPROVING, he had one of his best all-time seasons in 2006 and he’s nearly matching it this year, despite hitting age 35 this season. Even his defense hasn’t been woeful this year!

Jeter will certainly pass 3,000 hits next season and, if he got the playing time conceivably could even get to 4,000 which is crazy. Now, I don’t think he will because after his contract runs out next season his years as the starting shortstop for the Yankees will begin coming to a close. With Teixeira and A-Rod under contract for the better part of the next decade, there isn’t an obvious place to move Jeter to on the diamond. Maybe second base or left field, but most likely he’ll become some sort of a 3-4 game a week player in a utility role. Regardless where he plays, Jeter will hit.

At the end of his games, that’s the last you hear of Jeter until the next day’s lineups. You don’t see Jeter on any steroids list, or a police blotter or in court for some silly lawsuit, off the field he does just 2 things; crush some of the hottest ladies in the world and think about baseball. I may dislike him strongly, but I certainly respect and appreciate him.

ed to add: I will say though that I am SHOCKED the Yankees have never had a 3,000 hits player in their history. I know they’ve had players who have reached that point, but never solely as a Yankee. In the end, this isn’t THAT big a story, but in my mind, anytime you get mentioned with Lou Gehrig it’s a pretty big deal.

10
Sep
09

She’s a Man, Man, or is She? *(UPDATED)*

caster-semenya-pic-getty-489275065Remember Caster Semenya, the mannish-looking South African sprinter who caused a controversy that led to her being gender tested after winning the 800 m gold at the World Athletic Championships? Well, the test results are IN!

The good news is that Caster IS a woman; the bad news is that she is ALSO a dude. According to the results, Semenya doesn’t have a womb or ovaries but does have internal testes. With the revelations that she is a hermaphrodite, track officials are unsure of their next step, do these tests mean she should be stripped of her medals? Does this change nothing?

According to a source at the IAAF, who ordered the tests in the first place:

Everything is going to have to be done absolutely by the book, no question of a challenge to our findings. There’s all sorts of scans you do. This is why it’s complicated. In the past you used to do a gynaecological exam, blood test, chromosome test, whatever. That’s why the findings were challenged, because it’s not quite so simple. So what they do now is they do everything, and then they can say look, not only has she got this, she’s got that and the other. The problem for us is to avoid it being an issue now which is very personal: of the organs being a hermaphrodite, of not being a ‘real’ woman. It’s very dramatic.

Despite having higher hormone levels than normal, Semenya is still within the official limits for a woman. As well, her birth certificate and her family both claim her as woman.

This whole experience has ruined at least one thing for me, I used to think sex tests sounded like FUN, now I’m disillusioned.

[The Sun]

10
Sep
09

Red Sox Wives Hit the Runway

Some of the wives and girlfriends of the Boston Red Sox players took some time out of their day yesterday to model some “swanky” clothes for their annual Fenway to the Runway fundraiser. The event, which raised $75,000 for the Red Sox Foundation featured among others: Kristen Bay, Ana Delcarmen, Farrah Lester, Sheigh Drew, Bertha Lowell, Tomoyo Matsuzaka, Yuka Okajima, Tiffany Ortiz, Lindsay Clubine (fromer Deal or no Deal model and Clay Bucholz’ fiancee), and team owner John Henry’s blushing new bride, Linda Pizzuti.

I for one am furious they didn’t hold this event back when Mark Kotsay was still on the team so we could get some new photos of his astonishingly hot wife, Jamie. Well, I’ll have to make do with supporting a good cause, and supporting Farrah Lester. Wowzers.

090909soxpw005

[Boston Herald]

10
Sep
09

Van Damme is on the Warpath

JCVDkamsingMarch 2010 is going to be an awesome time to be in Vegas because that’s when famed actor Jean-Claude van Damme is due to fight Thai Olympic gold-medalist boxer Somluck Kamsing in a Muay Thai MMA fight. Kamsing confirmed the fight will be taking place, it will consist of 5 two-minute rounds.

Because he’s an actor and depends on his face, JCVD requested that the use of elbows be banned for the fight. Kamsing told Siamsport that JCVD didn’t want to get his face cut or bruised.

Of course, prior to being a woldwide “acting” sensation, JCVD was highly trained in martial arts. And of course, he won the tournament in Bloodsport despite being blinded. So, watch out Kamsing!

I’m booking my travel plans NOW!

[Five Knuckles]




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