Monica Slimmen the scary-eyed Debra Messing doppelganger to the left caught a 1.72 pound northern pike during an ice fishing competition in Somerset, Wisconsin, earning her second place among 2500 fellow competitors. The winner of the competition was Lee Shehow who caught a 2.4 lb pike which got him the grand prize, a brand new 27,000 truck. All in all, a fine day for the town’s Youth Athletic Association which raised more than $100,000.
Luckily for Slimmen, Shehow is a shady dude and it turns out that he smuggled in his winning catch in his coat.
“He was buying water from the girls, out buying water and pop, and he was all wet on his shirt and inside his coat. And that was some suspicious activity also,” says John Montpetit, event organizer. “He was very nervous when he came up, and the people registering the fish and weighing the fish thought something was abnormal.”
The organizers then brought in a private investigator and a lie detector expert and were prepared to give Shehow a polygraph but he disqualified himself and returned the truck. Now, Slimmen, who has spent the brutal Wisconsin winter without 4-wheel drive has a brand new truck and more importantly, can claim to be the winner of a semi-prestigious fishing event, which is almost nothing to sneeze at. Almost.
The local sheriff is investigating Shehow, but since he returned the truck it is likely that there won’t be any charges.
Don’t worry though, next year’s event will have much better security according to organizers so that we can all angle confidently and safe from treachery.
Bulgarian Grand Master Kiril Georgiev broke the world record for the largest number of simultaneous chess matches on Monday when he played 360 games at one time. The marathon process took 14 hours and 8 minutes with Georgiev playing against opponents ranging from children to retired old people.
A confused helicopter pilot made a lot of cricket players VERY confused when he mistook the “H” painted on a corner of the field and landed during a match. The game on Saturday was delayed when the hapless pilot suddenly landed his craft scattering the players and disrupting the game.
The US-Government-Owned Citi Field opens in just a few short months, and a city famed for its restaurants and high food cuisine should be expected to serve similarly delicious treats to the fans at the game. Sure, Shea was characterized more by the few food stands, limited options, and often overcooked meats, Citi Field will be totally different, providing you’re able to even afford to get into the stadium in the first place.
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Joe Gibbs Racing signed Darrell Wallace Jr. recently to its developmental driver program, which is unremarkable except that Wallace is only 15 years old. The Mobile, Alabama native isn’t legally allowed to have a license for another year, but that hasn’t stopped him from racing, or seeing him get named Rookie of the Year in the United Auto Racing Association. Wallace finished his season 6th overall in the points standings last year and was also the youngest driver to win a race at Franklin County Speedway.
Sounds reasonable to me, after all, I love chasing killing machines in a fragile fiberglass kayak that is easily tipped over. The team paddled into the middle of a group of salmon sharks–weighing in at about 1000 pounds and 9 feet in length–about 300 of them in total and then started hunting.
The Slanch Report 
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