Archive for the 'Olympics' Category

Next Entries »
11
Aug
08

Laure Manaudou Takes Off the Speedo

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Hot Olympic Women, Hot Women, Olympics and Other Sports
Tags: , , ,

I keep vacillating between deciding whether or not French swimming sensation Laure Manaudou is hot. Sure her body is pretty great, although her abs could definitely shred cheese, but the issue for me is her face. Sometimes she looks incredibly hot, like here:

and here

And then the next time I see her she looks all square-faced and like she’s getting ready for some post-apocalyptic rave in Soviet Russia. I can’t get a firm read on her and it’s very frustrating because who doesn’t love a French girl; I took 7 years of French for a reason…

Regardless, she’s been a story for quite a while as she and her now-ex boyfriend Luca Marin have had quite the acrimonious breakup, and he’s now dating her biggest rival, fellow Italian swimmer Frederica Pellegrini. Reportedly, the Italians decided to get back at Laure for something by releasing a bunch of naked pictures she and Marin took onto the interweb which seems like the true definition of classy. While I still can’t decide if I think she’s really hot or not, I figure I shouldn’t deprive the rest of you from the chance at a naked Olympian. Leave a comment below on your opinion of her so we can come to a consensus.

So, after the jump some definitely NSFW photos and a link to check out the rest of the posted photos.
Continue reading ‘Laure Manaudou Takes Off the Speedo’

11
Aug
08

The Chinese Put on Quite a Show

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Olympics
Tags: , , ,

I don’t want to lose my blogger street cred, but the Olympics opening ceremonies on Friday were totally, ridiculously amazing; I was blown away by how awesome it was. The ceremony cost over $300 million (that’s even more expensive than Waterworld!), the most expensive by far, and it looks like they took advantage of every penny. The numbers are staggering, 15,000 performers in all, none of whom repeated, which is more performers than there are athletes in the games this year. Even with that many people the precision and coordination of each segment of performers was totally boss, no one was off, no one looked out of place, everything was perfect. Of course, that’s probably because if you screwed up the Chinese government would immediately label you a dissident or something and you’d never be heard from again so…

Director Zhang Yimou put on a show that is going to be extremely difficult to top for a long time. For some reason I don’t think the Vancouver games will have quite the same flair or great stage pictures. The colors of the opening ceremony were so vibrant and striking and combined with the use of the massive LED screen on the floor and the scrim on top the stadium the images from the opening ceremony are going to stick with those who saw it for a while. For a great gallery of images from the ceremony, check out The Big Picture.

Continue reading ‘The Chinese Put on Quite a Show’

07
Aug
08

Those Brits be Crazy

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Olympics
Tags: , ,

With the games starting tomorrow the onslaught of human interest stories has already begun, take for instance this story about Tom Daley, the 14 year old(!), British diving prodigy who can’t dive until he sees his stuffed animal monkey sitting on top of his bag. But that’s not totally ridiculous, after all, he is only 14 years old and being in the Olympics is pretty heady stuff. That is not the case with Cassie Patten, 20, a member of the swimming team who can’t leave home without first arranging her stuffed bear and stuffed clown on her bed. Who stuffs a clown? Who stuffs a clown and leaves them on their bed? Doesn’t that sound like a person who might be dangerously unhinged mentally?

05
Aug
08

Rice in the Water is Oh So Nice

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Hot Olympic Women, Hot Women and Olympics
Tags: , , ,

When the Olympics start in a few days there are a few events and sports that I am more excited for than others, for example, beach volleyball will I’m sure receive high Nielson ratings in the Slanchelor Pad. One of my favorite athletes at the games, Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice, has been making some headlines recently because she broke up with her fellow Aussie swim team member boyfriend before the games so that they could both concentrate on their events, and for posing in FHM on the eve of the games, Both sound like great reasons to be in the news to me!

I’d post the FHM photos, but frankly, they’re fairly tame, and to me, this ad campaign she did with her then-boyfriend for an underwear company are significantly more interesting. So, now that she’s single, I just need you friendly readers to come up with enough cash to buy me a ticket to Beijing and she and I can get started on our life together. So dig deep gang.

29
Jul
08

I See Red People

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Olympics
Tags: , ,

In order to beat the oppressive pollution conditions, Olympic athletes are looking around for ways to combat the haze and smog which can make visibility difficult. The British women’s field hockey team has taken an unusual approach so they can continue their run toward the gold, red contact lenses. Apparently the red provides enhanced visibility through the smog. After practicing on the Chinese island of Macau, the women found that with the contact lenses they could perform significantly better and their vision was drastically increased. Not to mention that it also is semi-terrifying, if I were the coach of that team I would insist that each of the players eat some alka-seltzer tablets during the game or pop blood packets and just let the blood and/or foam drip down the women’s faces, but then again, I haven’t been allowed to be an Olympic field hockey coach since the ’84 games. How was I supposed to know that if you hit a ref with a stick that they’ll go unconcsious?!?

28
Jul
08

Don’t Breathe too Deep

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Olympics and Random
Tags: , ,

With the Olympics just a few weeks away, the news out of Beijing has been constantly about the problems facing the host city. The internet isn’t working properly, restaurants have been informed not to serve black patrons and a multitude of other issues have surrounded the upcoming games. No single concern though has taken over as much as the amount of smog surrounding the city, some athletes are not going because they don’t want to run in such poor quality, the equestrian events are now in Hong Kong because of health concerns, and the Chinese are working frantically to clear the air before the games begin.

This is what it looks like outside the main stadium, not an especially appealing looking view. So using that standard Chinese government openness, they have taken some steps to fix the situation. For instance, the city isn’t ALL bad, that’s why they’ve been putting up color billboards all around town to add color to the otherwise gray and drab cityscape like this image below.

Wow! I feel totally transported out of a disgustingly polluted city, how magical! These Olympics are going to be a shitshow, get excited!

Check out this gallery for more of these bizarre billboard/city mashups go here.

17
Jul
08

Yummy Olympic Athletes

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Hot Women and Olympics
Tags: , , ,

One of the things I love about the Olympics is that the villages where the athletes stay have thousands of condom distributors around because the athletes are constantly boning one another. And why not? They’re all in incredible shape, and once you do your event you’ve got like a 2 week party vacation with nothing else to do. Plus all those raging hormones from increased testosterone and whatever from exercising so much leads to lots of needed stress relief. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to be incredibly attractive like some of these athletes. Gawker put together a very nice collection of some of the hottest athletes who will be participating in the games, and you should definitely check out their full gallery. Enjoy!

Stephanie Rice, Australian Swimmer

Stephanie Rice, Australian Swimmer

Lu Xuan, Chinese Gymnast

Lu Xuan, Chinese Gymnast

Elka Graham, Australian Swimmer

Elka Graham, Australian Swimmer

[Gawker]

16
Jul
08

I Hope This Doesn’t Spoil Your Excitement

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Olympics
Tags: , , ,

Are you an Olympics junkie, unable to wait for the opening ceremonies on August 8th? Well, good news jonesers, despite trying to keep the ceremony’s fireworks display under wraps, it required a rehearsal and it’s not so easy to keep that totally hidden. Since China is so open with the media, there was little doubt these photos would get out to interweb’s tubes, and being an expert journalist, my secret Chinese sources smuggled these out to me via the British newspapers.

Check out here for more, better quality photos.


Bookmark and Share

15
Jul
08

Old Man Dressages His Way to Beijing

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Olympics and Other Sports
Tags: , , , ,

Hiroshi Hoketsu has been gearing up for the Beijing Olympics, finishing his training, packing his bags and making sure all his equipment is in order. Hoketsu, an equestrian rider will be making his second trip to the Olympics, so you’d think that all this would be old-hand to him already. It is, but that’s only because his hand is really old.

Hoketsu is 67 years old and his first trip to the Olympics was at the Tokyo Olympics in 1964. Now he’s back and getting prepared for his turn in the Dressage event. In 1964 he participated in Show Jumping, finishing a strong 40th overall. He’s keeping his goals low this time out, merely hoping to finish in the top-25.

A retired drug company executive, Hoketsu he didn’t know how long he would keep competing but told reporters, “It’s up to fate and fortune. But for now I will keep on riding as long as me and my horse remain fit and fine.”

Also awesome, “Hoketsu was born in Tokyo into a family which allegedly has its roots in a clan of pirates who infested the Inland Sea in the medieval ages.” I don’t know how that helps him on a horse, but it’s an awesome bit of family history.

Hoketsu will be the oldest Japanese man to participate in the Olympics, but remains behind Oscar Swahn, a Swedish sharpshooter who won Silver in the 1920 games at the age of 72 years and 10 months.


Bookmark and Share

09
Jul
08

I Hope They All Watch “Bring it On”

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Olympics, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , ,

So as the Olympics come closer, more stories about the preparations and extreme steps the Chinese are taking to make the games go off well and have the media report good things about China. To that end, the Chinese have created the largest cheerleading squad ever, over 200,000 people! The cheerleaders are comprised of people from all walks of life, from students to retired civil servants–who I’m sure have by far the best moves–and will learn some simple dance steps and have nosiemaking thunderstix to excite the crowds.

From the 200,000 there will also be an elite group of 400 who will server as cheerleaders, dancers and acrobats. To help get these teams ready since China has no history of cheerleaders, the games organizers arranged for the teams to get training from the New England Patriots cheerleaders.

The girls have been training for 4-6 hour days and are gearing up for the games.

“‘Everyone knows cheerleading is a Western activity, but we hope we can find a Chinese way to do it [and] show the world,” says He He, who sports long, dyed-red hair and a sparkly belly-button ring.”

Let the games begin!

12
Jun
08

What is it About Pole Vaulting?

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Hot Women, Olympics and Other Sports
Tags: , , , , ,

Everyone by now is well aware of the hotness that is Allison Stokke, and I already brought you the joy that is Melanie Adams; who knew that the fine art of pole vaulting attracted such attractive and well-formed athletes. It seems that the cold war arms race for hottest pole vaulter continues between the United States and Australia, both nations have been arming themselves and I present two of the latest weapons in this dastardly battle.

First off, Australia was finding itself lacking in babe-artillery and so imported Tatiana Grigorieva, originally from Russia, who emigrated to Australia in 1997. Tatiana has now retired so pole vaulting fans will be unable to see her handling the big rod anymore. That doesn’t mean we have to restrain ourselves from ogling though, but be careful , she’s now a gladiator on Australian Gladiators.

tatiana_grigorieva12tatiana_grigorieva10tatiana_grigorieva9

This doesn’t mean that the USA is weaponless. Sure, we already have the most powerful weapon possible in Allison Stokke, but there’s nothing wrong with constantly building up an arsenal. Thus, the US Track and Field Association presents the delectably sweet Mary Sauer, pole vaulter extraordinaire and a woman who is no stranger to either Maxim or Playboy.

18460_golden-girls-gm_l16

Still no one can knock Stokke off the top, she is definitely the hottest, but that doesn’t mean that we should just stop paying attention or looking. Who knows, maybe this summer at the Olympics we’ll all fall for a new pole vaulter. Or maybe even a javelin thrower…

Join us after the jump for a nsfw photo of each as well.

Continue reading ‘What is it About Pole Vaulting?’

09
Jun
08

Who is Excited for the Olympics!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Olympics, Other Sports and Poor Governing
Tags: , , ,

The Summer Olympics are due to start in Beijing in only a few weeks, and the Chinese government has been very busy constructing new facilities, cleaning up the city, jailing dissidents, etc, in preparation. The eyes of the world will be on Beijing this summer and the Chinese want to make sure that the games go off without a hitch. I only hope people can see them.


This is the view of James Fallows, a writer for The Atlantic, from his apartment in downtown Beijing. Get excited world!

Next Entries »

Follow The Slanch Report

 Subscribe to RSS Feed

twitter / slanchreport

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

February 2026
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
232425262728  

Categories