The Slanch Report

Nives Celsius is a Croatian model married to Dino Drpic, a fellow Croat currently plying his trade for Karlsruher SC in the Bundesliga.

Her husband has had a slew of problems recently; for example, his Croatian team, Dinamo Zagreb, terminated his contract in late January due to his gambling problems. The club also previously insisted that Drpic change his uniform number from “69” to “11,” after Nives went on television boasting that the couple had had sex at midfield of Zagreb’s stadium. “Dino had arranged that people should turn on the stadium lights for us and he finally fulfilled his dream of having sex in the middle of a football pitch. It was very naughty,” she told a Serbian talk show. When he was loaned to Karlsruher, Drpic asked for 69 again, and was told the team doesn’t issue numbers that high; except apparently for his teammate Andreas Gorlitz who wears “77”…

Travails like that could be hard on a man, but when you have a wife like Nives Celsius who is down for anything, like say, humping at midfield, life can’t be all bad.

Someday, I’m going to become a big-time European soccer star and all these incredible models are going to throw themselves at me. More than they already do that is…

Anyhoo, here are some photos of Nives’ recent photo shoot for FHM, count me in.