Archive for the 'Football' Category



20
Nov
09

Let’s Just Call the New Bills Head Coach Moses

Perry Fewell, the interim Buffalo Bills head coach shows his team the 10 commandments he has received from high above.

  1. I am the Head Coach
  2. Thou Shall have no other coach but I; because no one else would ever want this miserable job. You shall not worship any former Pro Bowlers (Terrell Owens) whose production is now miserable
  3. You shall not take the Bills name in vain, in fact, it’s better to not even mention us
  4. Keep Sundays as our Sabbath and use them as a day of rest, it won’t make a difference on the field anyways
  5. Honor our owner Ralph Wilson, he signs the checks
  6. You shall not murder, except the memories of Bills fans who remember the days when we were good
  7. You shall not seek out other teams for a trade or free agency, you must remain mired in mediocrity
  8. You shall not make any adjustments to your opponent, stick with what has gotten us this far
  9. You shall not give specious quotes to the media, abandon all hope
  10. You shall not covet to be on a better team, if you deserved to be there, you would be, you’re on the Bills for a reason.
20
Nov
09

Tuskers Cap Off Perfect UFL Season — No One Notices

It took 23 years before the first NFL team went undefeated; the nascent and unwatched UFL has had their first undefeated team in year one as SOMEHOW the Florida Tuskers managed to stay focused with all the thousands of reporters following the team. The Tuskers enter the playoffs 6-0 after two successful onside kicks to win 34-27 over the California Redwoods.

Anytime a team with Brooks Bollinger at QB and Jim Haslett as the head coach is facing you, you just KNOW you’re in trouble. If I were the rest of the UFL I’d just give up now, you just can’t beat that kind of talent.

[NBC]

19
Nov
09

Miami Spanks NY in Latest Lingerie Football Game

The Lingerie Football League’s Miami Caliente are HOT, second in their division with a 2-1 record they are fresh off an absolute spanking of the New York Majesty 49-7. Talk about domination!

[UPI]

18
Nov
09

Drunk and Crazy is the Only Way to Watch College Football

This female West Virginia fan looks like she packed a few too many away during the tailgating and now, as the Mountaineers take on Cincinnati on the field she starts throwing some game at a fat middle-aged dude. Looks like someone is suffering from Fat-Father Syndrome!

17
Nov
09

Jerry Jones is in Da Club

Following the Packers’ victory over the Cowboys this past Sunday who could blame Dallas’ owner for wanting to have a few dozen drinks. Drinking affects your decision-making skills you know, clearly in this photo, because I can’t imagine a sober Jerry Jones would ever allow this picture to be taken.

[Celebrity Clubber]

17
Nov
09

Everything is Cheaper in Michigan

The auction for the Pontiac Silverdome has ended and there is a winner, an unnamed Canadian company that intends to keep the venue open for sports. The 80,000 seat arena was sold for a mere $583,000 despite it costing nearly $55 million to build  in 1975. Talk about value!

The stadium’s yearly upkeep costs nearly three times more than its purchase price, costing over $1.5 million a year.

I can’t believe no one bought this for me, look at how cheap it was! I would have thrown an AWESOME party there too…

[Detroit News]

16
Nov
09

Titans Owner Flips Bills Fans the Bird

Bud Adams Flipping the Bird

The Titans have gone through a difficult season; fresh off a 13-3 season they were expected to be serious contenders again this season. Instead they’ve seen their team collapse and become a door mat for the rest of the league to walk all over. Their owner Bud Adams has had his franchise since the inception of the AFL and is the senior owner in the NFL, as we get older apparently we get more ornery.

At yesterday’s Titans/Bills game at home Adams was overly enthused and started giving the middle finger to the Bills sideline. Unfortunately for Adams, many many many people captured his gesture on camera and I would imagine he’ll be fined quite handily by the commissioner’s office. Amusingly, Commissioner Goodell was AT the game, IN BUD’S BOOTH although presumably wasn’t around when Adams signed his displeasure with the Bills. I would have LOVED to see Goodell just straight up tackle Adams down as soon as he flashed the first bird.

Oh well, another time!

[Sports by Brooks]

13
Nov
09

$1 Costs Ochocinco $20,000

ochocincocashUnamused by his attempt to “bribe” the refs during a replay timeout with $1, the NFL has handed Chad Ochocinco with a $20,000 fine.

“I was just being me,” Ochocinco told the NFL Network after the game. “I wasn’t going to do it for real.”

Too bad for Chad, the NFL doesn’t want him to be him citing the rulebook which “prohibits use of abusive, threatening or insulting language or gestures toward game officials. He was also in violation of Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1 (f) of the Playing Rules which prohibits possession or use of extraneous objects that are not part of the uniform during the game on the field or sideline.” They also took umbrage at his using the word “bribe” during the post-game press conferences. A high ranking NFL employee told ESPN that “essentially [in Ochocinco’s postgame comment] he made an admission against his own interest. The integrity of the game is critical to us. Making light of bribing and gambling will not be taken lightly. His action in itself merited the fine but he acknowledged by his comments that he knew what he was doing.”

The company that made Ochocinco’s iPhone app announced that because of the fine they would be donating $20,000 to the Hillview Acres home for abused children in Chino, California.

Today, on his Twitter account Ochocinco continue to play up his antics tweeting:  “Barrack I’ve just been fined again, can we meet to set up a fun rule please. I can’t go to mcdonalds for 2 weeks now.”

[ESPN]

13
Nov
09

He Had TOO Much Captain in Him

Brent Celek Captain MorganIn Sunday’s Eagles/Cowboys contest tight end Brent Celek scored a touchdown in the third quarter, to celebrate he squared himself perfectly in the camera’s lens and posed a la the recent Captain Morgan’s Rum commercials with one leg up on an imaginary cask of rum. The No-Fun-League  was less than pleased.

“A company can’t pay a player to somehow promote it’s product on the field,” NFL spokesman Greg Aiello told Yahoo! Sports this week. “Every league has the same rule. … It’s come up before, companies trying to use our games and then players for ambush marketing purposes.”

On the field the celebration earned the Eagles a 15-yard penalty thanks to Jason Avant coming over and aiding in the celebration.

While Celek denied any knowledge of the ad campaign an ad executive handling the Captain Morgan account admitted that Celek WAS involved.

In hopes of raising brand awareness, Captain Morgan intended to offer lucrative charity contributions in exchange for each instance a player was caught on camera doing its pose during a game. The contributions were earmarked for the Gridiron Greats Assistance Fund – a non-profit which helps retired NFL players with various hardships after leaving the game.

“The [ad campaign] has been going around internally for a while and [Celek] learned of the program through his contact at Diageo [Captain Morgan’s parent company],” said Glenn Lehrman, an account director at Rogers & Cowan, the Los Angeles-based firm that handles Captain Morgan promotions. “Brent said, ‘You know what, if I get the opportunity, I’m going to go ahead and do it.’ He sort of beat us to the punch, but we’re certainly not going to complain.”

Captain Morgan promised to donate $10,000 per pose during the regular season, $25,000 in the playoffs and $100,000 if someone were to do it in the Super Bowl. Celek was not fined for his actions but the NFL has promised that any subsequent “posing” by the players will lead to “substantial” fines.

“The issue is that players are specifically prohibited under our policies from wearing, displaying, promoting or otherwise conveying their support of a commercially identified product during a game while they’re on the field,” Aiello said. “Whether it’s rum or soft drinks or any other commercial product, that type of promotion is prohibited.”

[Yahoo!]

13
Nov
09

San Dimas Football High RULES!

Bill and TedI’m late to this story but it is simply too important to ignore; the San Dimas High School football team is CRUSHING the competition. Currently sitting 8-1, the Saints have outscored their opponents 343-91 with 4 shutouts, including 3 in a row.

This past week they took on the Northview Vikings, who scored a season high 24 points against San Dimas. That simply wasn’t enough though as the Saints rushed for 313 yards proving once more the prescience of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure; San Dimas Football DOES rule.

Be excellent to each other.

And, PARTY ON DUDES!

[San Gabriel Valley Tribune]

12
Nov
09

Belichick Wears a Mic

I love insider-y stuff, getting the chance to listen to Bill Belichick on the sidelines during a game is exactly the type of thing I’m interested in.Now, obviously the audio gets edited by the NFL before they release it, but it still is a totally cool way to see/hear/understand the game, particularly from a football genius like Belichick. I’d love someday to be the guy in the truck who gets to hear the whole, unadulterated version because I bet THAT is super-interesting. Oh well.

[NFL]

12
Nov
09

Who is Ready for the Superbowl Halftime Show!

The WhoI’ve been wondering WHO will be performing at the Superbowl halftime show, since 2004’s infamous “wardrobe malfunction” the performers have been on the older, more classic rock side of the dial. According to Sports Illustrated’s Hot Clicks, this year’s performers will continue that trend, so get your DVRs ready now for THE WHO! Yes!

I love The Who! Who DOESN’T love The Who? Consider me especially excited now for the eventual Saints/Patriots Superbowl; Tom Brady, Drew Brees, kid-toucher Pete Townsend, Randy Moss, Keith Moon, they’ll all be there! Well, maybe not Keith…

There had been rumors that perhaps Bon Jovi would be doing the halftime show, but I can only hope that it is The Who, and them alone. I like me some Bon Jovi, but compare them to The Who and it simply is no contest.

[Hot Clicks!]




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