Hammer it baby!
After hitting his game-winning home run last night to put the Phillies up a commanding 3-1 in their series against the Dodgers Matt Stairs, professional hitter–unlike the entire rest of MLB which features only amateurs–couldn’t wait to finish circling the bases and get to the dugout. It wasn’t because the portly gentleman was tired from running, no, he wanted to have his teammates hands all over him. “You want to get that one big hit where you feel like you’re part of the team. Not that I don’t feel like I’m part of the team, by no means, but when you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys, it’s no better feeling than to have that done,” he said after the game. Yowzers.
Other fun Matt Stairs facts:
- He’s Canadian, EWWWW
- He coaches a high school hockey team in Maine in the offseason
- He refused to report to a Mexican Winter League team until the team owner agreed to fly in Burger King once a week for him to enjoy
The Slanch Report 
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