The Slanch Report

We all think about doing it, but for most people, common sense kicks in and we don’t indulge our inner demons. I’m of course referring to the our inner desires to kick our respective bosses asses. Well, Shawn Chacon found his breaking point on Wednesday and grabbed general manager Ed Wade by the throat and throwing him to the ground and then jumping on top of him.

That’s certainly a way to express your displeasure at being removed from the rotation over the weekend. Of course, when you begin the season with 9 straight no-decisions and are currently 2-3 with an ERA over 5 in 15 starts, maybe it’s not the GM’s fault…

“I sat down to eat and Ed Wade came to me and very sternly said, ‘You need to come with me to the office,'” Chacon said. “I said ‘for what?’ I said ‘I don’t want to go to the office with you and Cooper.’ And I said, ‘You can tell me whatever you got to tell me right here.’ He’s like, ‘Oh, you want me to tell you right here?’ And I said, ‘yeah.’ I’m not yelling. I’m calm.”

“[Wade] started yelling and cussing. I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling at me.’ Then I stood up and said, ‘You better stop yelling at me.’ I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling.”

Ed Wade then told Chacon he needed to “look in the mirror’ and Chacon completely lost it, throwing Wade to the ground by the neck and jumping on top of him before other players pulled Chacon off.

“Maybe it shouldn’t have happened,” Chacon said. “But when you do those things and you’re yelling at somebody and you’re cussing you better know what type of person you’re dealing with. If there’s any regret, I just wish they had just let me alone. I wish they had left me alone.”

I’m sure the Astros wish they had done that too. Chacon is signed to a, for a starting pitcher, inexpensive $2 million deal and it’s evident that he’s way overpaid. Chacon has been completely ineffective and unable to get major league hitters out in any sort of consistent manner. Hell, he hasn’t been able to inconsistently get anyone out. Even when he’s throwing punches he only gets one or two in and then gets pulled.

Now according to ESPN, “Chacon is now concerned that he might not pitch in the majors again.” I’d think that’s a very realistic concern. GMs have shown a willingness to sign steroid users, wife-hitters and all other manner of scumbags provided they can do one thing, get hitters out. Chacon doesn’t have that ability anymore. Before he was a douchebag who could play some ball, now he’s just a douchebag.

“He is suspended pending final resolution of whatever move we end up making with him,” Wade said. I’m pretty sure the collective bargaining agreement doesn’t allow for anything that Ed Wade would really like to do to Chacon so most likely he’ll just get released.

However, I am 100% willing to shell out some cash to see them really go at it, bare knuckle brawling style. I say we form up a collection and offer it to the winner. After all, it doesn’t seem like Chacon is going to have much in the way of work anytime soon…