Al Reyes, the Beelzebub Rays closer last year, went out last night to celebrate his 38th birthday. Showing how baseball players are just like us, he entertained himself at a local bar and had a few drinks in his own honor. Then, as anyone is wont to do, he got into a fight, broke a ceramic pot, was Tased twice by an off-duty cop and spit blood on the people around him. Standard birthday fare. In fact, that’s the EXACT same breakdown of my 5th, 16th, 19th and 23rd birthdays. I hope he got a Game Gear too! According to Rays PR flak Rick “Please stop calling me ‘Wild Thing,’ I get it, I’m in baseball and we have the same name but please god just let me live my life in peace” Vaughn, “We are looking into the situation as we are just learning of it.” So rest assured the Beelzebubians are on top of it. The breakdown of events is that around 2:30 am, Reyes knocked over the pot, breaking it and then got into an altercation with another bar patron who it seems, decked him in the face. Following that, according to the police, Reyes “began to spit blood on the people in the area and began to swing his arms about.” So that’s fun! When the off-duty cop who works as a bouncer at the bar warned him to stop, Reyes continued throwing his arms around and continued with the spitting of the blood on people.
After warning him, the cop Tased Reyes, but clearly the cops haven’t ever seen a game Reyes has pitched in because otherwise, they would have known that damaging outings are his specialty. Reyes is a gamer, he’ll give up a grand slam and keep wanting to pitch, or in this case, fall to the ground Tased and stumble back up in order to be Tased again. I for one am inspired by his example. Perseverance! It’s just like that Dwyane Wade commercial!
It’s never too late to hop onto the Beelzebub’s bandwagon, tickets are still available, these guys got moxie!
The Slanch Report 
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