Archive for the 'Douches' Category



16
Nov
09

Titans Owner Flips Bills Fans the Bird

Bud Adams Flipping the Bird

The Titans have gone through a difficult season; fresh off a 13-3 season they were expected to be serious contenders again this season. Instead they’ve seen their team collapse and become a door mat for the rest of the league to walk all over. Their owner Bud Adams has had his franchise since the inception of the AFL and is the senior owner in the NFL, as we get older apparently we get more ornery.

At yesterday’s Titans/Bills game at home Adams was overly enthused and started giving the middle finger to the Bills sideline. Unfortunately for Adams, many many many people captured his gesture on camera and I would imagine he’ll be fined quite handily by the commissioner’s office. Amusingly, Commissioner Goodell was AT the game, IN BUD’S BOOTH although presumably wasn’t around when Adams signed his displeasure with the Bills. I would have LOVED to see Goodell just straight up tackle Adams down as soon as he flashed the first bird.

Oh well, another time!

[Sports by Brooks]

13
Nov
09

He Had TOO Much Captain in Him

Brent Celek Captain MorganIn Sunday’s Eagles/Cowboys contest tight end Brent Celek scored a touchdown in the third quarter, to celebrate he squared himself perfectly in the camera’s lens and posed a la the recent Captain Morgan’s Rum commercials with one leg up on an imaginary cask of rum. The No-Fun-League  was less than pleased.

“A company can’t pay a player to somehow promote it’s product on the field,” NFL spokesman Greg Aiello told Yahoo! Sports this week. “Every league has the same rule. … It’s come up before, companies trying to use our games and then players for ambush marketing purposes.”

On the field the celebration earned the Eagles a 15-yard penalty thanks to Jason Avant coming over and aiding in the celebration.

While Celek denied any knowledge of the ad campaign an ad executive handling the Captain Morgan account admitted that Celek WAS involved.

In hopes of raising brand awareness, Captain Morgan intended to offer lucrative charity contributions in exchange for each instance a player was caught on camera doing its pose during a game. The contributions were earmarked for the Gridiron Greats Assistance Fund – a non-profit which helps retired NFL players with various hardships after leaving the game.

“The [ad campaign] has been going around internally for a while and [Celek] learned of the program through his contact at Diageo [Captain Morgan’s parent company],” said Glenn Lehrman, an account director at Rogers & Cowan, the Los Angeles-based firm that handles Captain Morgan promotions. “Brent said, ‘You know what, if I get the opportunity, I’m going to go ahead and do it.’ He sort of beat us to the punch, but we’re certainly not going to complain.”

Captain Morgan promised to donate $10,000 per pose during the regular season, $25,000 in the playoffs and $100,000 if someone were to do it in the Super Bowl. Celek was not fined for his actions but the NFL has promised that any subsequent “posing” by the players will lead to “substantial” fines.

“The issue is that players are specifically prohibited under our policies from wearing, displaying, promoting or otherwise conveying their support of a commercially identified product during a game while they’re on the field,” Aiello said. “Whether it’s rum or soft drinks or any other commercial product, that type of promotion is prohibited.”

[Yahoo!]

10
Nov
09

You’ve Got to Be F&@king Kidding Me

JeterErrorThe AL Gold Glove awards were announced today and Derek Jeter was awarded his 4th Gold Glove. 4, Derek Jeter has 4!!!! fucking Gold Gloves. The man who is a TERRIBLE fielder has won an award for excellence in defense 4 times. You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

Now, I’ll grant that this year Jeter’s defense increased significantly but there is simply no way you can tell me that Jeter is a better fielder than Detroit’s Adam Everett, the Angels’ Erick Aybar, Baltimore’s Cesar Izturis or even Tampa’s Jason Bartlett. The guy who probably most deserved this was either Aybar or Texas’ Elvis Andrus (but he’s a rookie and probably hasn’t received enough publicity yet.) I absolutely give Jeter credit for working over the winter at his lateral movement and improving as a fielder even in his mid-30s, but going from the worst fielding shortstop to the middle ground still doesn’t make you good. Jeter still can’t go to his right, anything a few steps to the left is definitely out of his reach too, basically, you hit it right at him and he’ll get it, otherwise, all bets are off.

The Gold Glove clearly means NOTHING these days — that’s been true for several years now, since at least Rafael Palmeiro won one for playing 16 games in the field — it’s almost not even worth getting upset about.

However, the only reason I do get mad is that other morons then cite the Gold Gloves as PROOF that someone is good, it’s even worse than the people who think Wins are a realistic barometer of a pitcher’s ability, or RBI show how good a hitter is; they don’t! Gold Gloves are voted by the players and coaches and at this point I think things like the Cable Ace Awards are a legitimately more respectable award.

[ESPN]

06
Nov
09

Give Him Points for Balls, Not the Execution

ticket-scalperPolice arrested Douglas Clark outside Yankee stadium before game 2 for trying to sell fake World Series tickets. Ever the entrepreneur, Clark did the only reasonable thing available, he offered a bribe to the arresting officers. In exchange for letting him loose, Clark offered the cop tickets to a later game in the series.

Considering he was being arrested for selling FAKE tickets, the cop turned him down. Now Clark is being held for attempted bribery and possession of a forged instrument. Ooops!

[NY Post]

 

05
Nov
09

Jorge Posada Punches His Wife

Prior to last night’s game, the local NYC Fox affiliate aired some of an interview they had earlier in the day with Laura Posada, the Yankees catcher’s wife. Generally it wasn’t that interesting but she did casually drop one bomb, Jorge gets heated up before big game and has fights in his sleep with the umps. He apparently thrashes around and even can get violent. Fast forward in this clip to the 2:35 mark to hear her tell about him punching her in the face!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Poor form Spanish George, poor form. I should also point out that I hate Jorge more than any other single Yankee.

[Fox New York]

03
Nov
09

Youth Football Coach Attacks Assistant

4356Former Oakland Raider tight end Jeremy Brigham (1998-2001) (left) has moved on in his retirement to coaching youth football, but the competitive fire still burns strong within him. Scott Haggerty was an assistant on Brigham’s staff, until Brigham recently fired him.

After being fired, Haggerty watched his now-former team’s next game from the stands, cheering on his son who remained on the squad. After the game, the opposing coach joked to Brigham that “Haggerty gave me all your plays.” Even had Haggerty done so, it didn’t do much to help, seeing that Brigham’s team cruised to a 38-0 victory.

Brigham didn’t take it as a joke though and confronted, and then allegedly punched Haggerty in the head, ultimately putting him in a neck brace.

I don’t really understand why Brigham was so upset, what he wanted to win 84-0?

Who knew that pee-wee football was so drama-filled!

Hmm, head coach attacking an assistant, Brigham really is living the Raiders tradition.

[UPI]

29
Oct
09

A-Rod Has Been Choking for YEARS!

This clip astonishes me. No, not that Alex Rodriguez in his final high school playoff game made a truly terrible throw to second, tossing the game away and losing it for his school, but that this is the first time I’ve seen it. I spend a lot of time on the Internet (you might have noticed) and this is the first time I’ve ever come across this moment. Success breeds success, failure, well, failure breeds further failure. Despite his torrid pace early in the playoffs, last night Cliff Lee just baffled A-Rod all game long. Let’s hope to see this trend continue, after all, they say people never really change.

Vodpod videos no longer available.
[Barstool Sports]

29
Oct
09

Yankees Fans Show They Don’t Care and Are Fair-Weather Fans

yankeestadiumempty1The greatest fans huh? Now, call me crazy, but if it is the FUCKING WORLD SERIES you DON’T LEAVE THE GAME UNTIL IT’S OVER NO MATTER WHAT THE SCORE. Or at least, that’s what Phillies fans, Red Sox fans or Cardinal fans would do. That’s because those are informed fans who actually understand baseball as opposed to fair-weather rich people who follow a team only because they were successful in the past.

It’s the goddamn World Series, it’s supposed to mean something. Way to show up Yankee fans.

[h/t NYC Barstool Sports for the photo]

28
Oct
09

Kobe, You Left Phil Hanging

Derek Fisher patiently waits so that he can get a fist bump from his coach prior to tipoff for the Lakers’ title defense run, his patience is rewarded by Phil Jackson giving him an enthused bump.  Phil takes a seat and Kobe walks by, assuming that Kobe would want to acknowledge his coach and get the season started on a good foot Jackson anticipates the bump but there is none forthcoming. Phil recovers though and acts like he never even went for the bump in the first place, but we know what actually happened.

27
Oct
09

Derek Jeter Just Makes This Too Easy

derek jeter SNL in DragWhile on Fox tonight the World Series will be getting underway, New York Yankees captain Derek Jeter will simultaneously be making an appearance on NBC’s The Biggest Loser. It only makes sense that Jeter appear on a show with that title, because I dislike him and it allows me to call him a big loser. Thanks DJ! BOOM! You see what I did there? See I juxtaposed Derek Jeter and being a big loser and then put them together for comparison, and Jeter turns out to be a loser! God I’m smart.

Now, Derek, if you wouldn’t mind appearing on an episode of Stupid Faced D-Bags Who Slanch Would Like to See Never Play Baseball Again on Spike I think I’ll be good.

Also, I would watch the SHIT out of “SFD-BWSWLSNPBA” it would get SUPER HIGH Nielsen ratings from my house, so, TV executives get on it!

[NBC]

27
Oct
09

Phillips Enters Sex Addiction Rehab, Sounds Like Fun!

Steve-phillips-fired-from-espn(1)After being unceremoniously canned by ESPN late Sunday night, now-former BBTN analyst Steve Phillips did the only super cliche thing left to him, enter a rehab facility. Because after all, the American public will forgive and forget ANYTHING so long as you at least make a cursory “attempt” to get help. This isn’t a PR ploy though, after all, Steve

“really needs help, and this was the best way to do it,” said his agent, Steve Lefkowitz, in describing his decision to attend a high-priced facility — in a mystery location — that specializes in sex-addiction treatment.

“It was a bid to keep his life. He’s going in for an illness,” Lefkowitz said. “The problem is, he fell off the wagon.”

I had no idea there were high-priced facilities to treat sex-addiction, I just thought you send someone off to one of the Hedonism resorts and let them sate their appetites for a week. I know sex addiction is a real issue that can be a hardship for many people, but it’s hard to look at as anything but fun. I mean, if you’re a sex addict and you get sent to a place filled with other sex addicts is a bad idea, especially when you’ve had a vasectomy and anything goes. Unless of course you have terrible taste in women. Uh-oh! Steve Phillips is in trouble…

[NY Post]

 

27
Oct
09

340 Yards to the Pin? Gimme the M-16 and Stand Back

Recovered RiflesPGA Tour rules maintain that a golfer can carry no more than 14 clubs in his/her bag during a tournament. There isn’t any limit on how many guns you can carry in the bag as well though. This is a lesson that Juan Gibson, a 16-year-old in Palm Beach, Florida and a friend of his learned after Gibson decided to rob his former neighbor’s house and grab the guns he knew to be there. Of course, transporting 13 guns can be a bit onerous, so Gibson and his friend loaded them into two golf club bags as camouflage.

Then, as any normal 16-year-old toting a mini-arsenal of guns would do, they rode the public bus and headed home. Unluckily, a police officer noted the two boys carrying abnormally heavy golf bags and called in backup to investigate. After being stopped by a patrol unit, the boys started fighting the police and then attempted to make a getaway; Gibson was nabbed but his friend managed to get away. The 13 rifles, shotguns and assault rifles were recovered and returned to their owner, who I’m sure needed to have all of them back, because really, a half-dozen assault rifles is just never enough for home defense, you need that full bakers dozen.

[WPTV]




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