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19
Jun
09

Bush Participates in Naming Ritual For Hicks’ Box

Bush1-thumb-547x410-1259791Former President George W. Bush stopped by to take in the Rangers/Astros battle for Texas last night. W, who prior to becoming Governor of Texas was the principal owner of the Rangers was honored before the game by current Rangers owner — and recent defaulter of loans leading him to seek out new partners to buy 49% of the team from him — Tom Hicks who renamed the owner’s box to the President George W. Bush Owner’s Box.

Prior to the game, Bush also visited the Astros clubhouse, stopping in to congratulate Ivan Rodriguez on setting the new record for all-time games caught. Rodriguez who was on the Rangers when W was in command gave the former C-in-C one of his bats from the record-setting game.

Another Astros player, pitcher Tim Byrdak asked Bush if he could get a hug, a request Bush granted, Byrdak then yelled out to his teammates, “And you said it couldn’t be done!”

Bush responded with, “Just as long as he didn’t kiss me.”

It’s times like this that remind me how if only Bush had become the Commissioner of baseball instead of Governor of Texas how much better this entire world would have been. It’s not often you can say you would have changed the world, but no Bush presidency would have made everything better. Sigh.

[Tag Lines]

18
Jun
09

Sweet Lou Doesn’t Know the Sweet Cheeba

Lou Piniella, swarmed in a press conference with media desperate for a quote regarding the “shocking” revelation that Sammy Sosa did steroids offers up this gem.

Ah Lou, is there anything you do that isn’t magnificent?

18
Jun
09

She’s OK!

If you haven’t yet seen the video from Tuesday’s Reds/Braves where a member of the groundscrew (Robin Habisch) loses her footing, falls and then nearly gets trapped under the tarp. Fortunately for her, she manages to crawl her way out, a little bit wet and a big bit embarrassed and to cheers from the crowd.

17
Jun
09

He’s a WITCH!

The Long Beach Armada are an independent league baseball team featuring such luminaries on their roster as Jose Lima and Hideki Irabu. That’s right, Mr. Fat Toad HIMSELF is back in the game, trying to make a comeback in the indy’s. Also on the roster is Josh Womack, a former 2nd round pick of the Seattle Mariners (2002) who was subsequently released. The 24 year old OF may have only reached AAA in the Mariners organization but he has at least one thing going for him, he can do this totally awesome bat trick.

And yes, if you’re wondering, it was Lima who calls out “Nice pants” to Womack, who replies with a suitable response, “Nice Face.”

[With Leather]

17
Jun
09

6-Year Old Makes Catch of the Day

833-derby-full.standalone.prod_affiliate.7Out on the water with her mother and father, 6-year old Tegan Humphrey ended up pulling out of the water a 138.8 pound halibut, big enough to win the Lady Angler division of the Homer (Alaska) Jackpot Halibut Derby.

Not too bad a feat for the 40 pound youngster, besting the next closest competitor by 77 pounds. However, while her parents were impressed and proud, Tegan herself was a bit sad, it was a nice catch sure, but it was the wrong species.

“She was fishing for a mermaid, and she didn’t get what she wanted,” said Courtney Humphrey, her mom. “So she was a little disappointed.”

Having already caught a decent-sized chicken halibut earlier in the morning, Tegan rebaited her hook and cast again.

“No sooner did she hit the bottom, than that fish was on,” ship charter captain Rob Hyslip (left) said. “And it took off zinging line. Next thing I heard was, ‘I can’t crank it, I can’t crank it.’ “

Tegan’s father, Charles went over to help, and the battle lasted about 25 minutes. As he was reeling in the fish, Hyslip took out his sawed-off shotgun.

“You’re not going to shoot my fish,” she pleaded.

“Yeah,” Hyslip acknowledged. “She wasn’t thrilled at first. She didn’t really understand what was going on.”

Ultimately she relented and the Hyslip shot the fish in order to bring it on-board. While her father did the hard work in bringing it in, everyone agreed it was her fish, and the small angler was exhausted.

“She was completely tuckered out,” Courtney said. “I’ve got an awesome picture of her on the way back in, sleeping.”

[Anchorage Daily News]

16
Jun
09

The Battle for the Windy City

If you think that I wasn’t going to post these galleries of hot White Sox vs. hot Cubs fans then this must be your first day here at the Slanch Report. Make sure to check out the full larger galleries by clicking HERE and enjoy!

Loyal readers know who I’m opting for…

[Chicago Sun Times]

16
Jun
09

Another One Comes to Light

Ho-hum, another name from the 104 players who tested positive for steroids in 2003, ladies and gentleman, prepare your shocked faces, it’s Sammy Sosa. No one was clean, no one is that surprised. In the end all the players who should will get in the Hall of Fame and all of them should have steroids prominently mentioned on their plaques.

[NY Times]

sammysosa.600

16
Jun
09

He’s in Too Deep

Ah a local news reporter getting overrun by boisterous fans streaming out after a college world series game, now that’s entertainment. I like how annoyed the reporter is, here’s a thought, DON’T set up right by the exit where the fans will walk by. If there is one thing that is true in this world, it is that people will do ANYTHING to get on television.

[Awful Announcing]

16
Jun
09

Wherein the Justice System is Flawed and Bulls*!t

On March 14, Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth, while driving drunk, struck and killed a pedestrian. On May 20, Michael Vick was released from prison after serving 21 months in prison for his role in a dog-fighting ring and has another 2 months under house arrest.

With today’s plea agreement, Donte Stallworth will be serving a grand total of 30 DAYS in prison for getting behind the wheel and KILLING a person. In addition Stallworth made an undisclosed agreement with the family of the victim for financial compensation. He will serve 30 DAYS in prison. FOR KILLING A PERSON. Michael Vick, kills and hurts some dogs and serves 21 MONTHS.

Continue after the jump for my full opinion about this ridiculous situation

Continue reading ‘Wherein the Justice System is Flawed and Bulls*!t’

16
Jun
09

“Better Make This My Greatest Race Call”

Five years ago today California was hit with an earthquake that registered 4.9 on the Richter scale. When the quake hit, Vic Stauffer was in the middle of making his call for the second race at Hollywood Park that day. Ever cool, Stauffer maintains his wits and uses the earthquake to help his call of the race. As the race comes to the wire he announces with gusto that it comes down in “a SHAKER!” Well done sir.

16
Jun
09

Let’s Hope This Bird Isn’t Cooked

In the late 1970s KGB-FM radio in San Diego created a cartoon character as an advertising mascot, an acrobatic chicken. The radio station also hired a local college student to portray the mascot in person, that young man was Ted Giannoulas and he has subsequently went on to portray that chicken character for 35 years. For a time he was the famous San Diego Chicken, appearing at one time at 520 straight Padres games and was a mainstay at all San Diego sporting events.

Unfortunately, the Chicken became a victim of his own success. Because of the popularity of the character Major League teams started hiring their own mascots, diminishing opportunities for the Chicken to perform.

Today Ted is still performing as the Chicken but it’s possible that this might be the end of the road for the much-beloved mascot. In his heyday, the Chicken would perform 250 times a year, these days the number is closer to 50. “It’s the one magic elixir that keeps me young,” Giannoulas said. However, the toll his act takes on his body is becoming harder and harder for the 55 year old to bear which is why he is considering making this the final year of the Chicken.

“At the end of this season, I’ll make a determination if I think I can go another season. I can’t say for certain. I’ll just see how my body feels, what my energy level might be going forward,” Giannoulas said. “The fun and energy is still at the ballpark. I still get a charge out of it.”

Performing 3-4 times a week from June through early September, the Chicken’s routine, which includes over 100 trademarked bits will be out in full force this summer so if you get a chance see him soon, it may be the last chance you get.

[Amarillo.com]

16
Jun
09

Nice Throw!

Now, the why of this video is a bit beyond me; it’s a parade to celebrate the Pittsburgh Penguins and their Stanley Cup victory but a fan in the crowd is throwing a football. Seems like mixed messages. Regardless, he makes a hell of a throw here and we can always celebrate that.

[The Big Lead]




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