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02
Oct
09

Can’t Get Enough Fantasy Hockey?

Hockey-Heaven.jpgMe either, but I’m doing it anyways! There are limited slots available in the inaugural Slanch Report fantasy hockey league, and we’re looking for YOU!

If you think you have chops or you know anything about hockey you’re already a decent shot to win. We’re drafting MONDAY night, so, you must sign up BEFORE THEN. If you want in, send me an email here and I’ll send you all the relevant information.

If you’ve ever dreamed of being in a fantasy hockey league with a famous blogger, settle for me! If you’ve never played fantasy hockey and/or know nothing about hockey, join us!

Fantasy hockey forever!

02
Oct
09

I Always Preferred the Red Kind

3557444We have a new favorite in the Best Name in College Sports competition, meet red-shirted sophomore Gelo Orange from Wake Forest. A linebacker by trade, Orange has several blocked punts on his resume, once of which was integral in the Demon Deacon’s victory over Boston College last November. Originally from Haiti, Orange moved to Florida in 2004 to live with his father, and that is when he took up football.

[Wake Forest Sports]

02
Oct
09

So THAT’S What They Do When Guys Aren’t Around

I always knew that when I wasn’t around cheerleaders everywhere were playing craps, smoking cigars, helping each other stretch and of course, the pillow fights. Always the pillow fights. I don’t know what it is, but something happens once those pillows start flying and feathers fill the air, women live for that moment. Right? Yeah, that’s probably true.

If you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes in the Washington Redskins cheerleaders dressing room, here’s your (incredibly staged) chance.

I just hope the NFL won’t come down hard on these ladies for their locker room gambling, it could really jeopardize the Redskins’ chances this season.

[You Been Blinded]

02
Oct
09

I’m Guessing Most of These Guys are Single

Some people are EXTRA passionate about their local NFL team, you’ve seen them on TV, dressed to the 9s in some outrageous outfit that somehow shows they care for their local 22. The terrifying thing about these people is that during the week they are probably just like everyone else, but come Sunday, some switch in their brain gets hit and the crazy starts coming out. Just think, next time you’re at the grocery store, this could be the guy in front of you, or behind you. Look out!

Crazy-NFL-Fans-231

[DJ Mick]

02
Oct
09

Devoted Husband Chooses Hockey Over Sex

couchBefore every sports season some lazy columnist somewhere will write the same tired article; X sport has started and some fans are really into it and don’t pay attention to their loved ones. The Globe and Mail’s Dakshana Bascaramurty churns it out this time, but at least he adds a fun wrinkle, some TMI from a New York couple.

Cori Stern-Torres (not pictured) retires her risqué lingerie and razor from October to April every year and lets her body become “a jungle.”

Her husband of seven years, Jim Traynor (also not pictured), is a rabid New York Rangers fan and she says she’s invisible to him during hockey season.

It’s why Ms. Stern-Torres, 46, relishes commercial breaks: She’s mastered the art of doing the deed in those brief minutes before her hubby’s focus returns to the glow of the TV screen.

But if Ms. Stern-Torres yearns for a longer session between the sheets, she has to share time with 21 hulking men – her husband’s beloved Rangers.

“There were times when we were having sex and he’s been watching the game,” she said from her home in New York. “If I want to get some and there’s a game on, that’s what we have to do.”

Last I checked, commercial breaks are only a few minutes which means that she spends from October until theoretically June being unsatisfied. Well, at least there’s always the summer!

Oh, and if, like me you’re a visual person, thanks to the magic of Google, here are Cori and Jim’s Facebook pages so you can put faces to this sexless couple. Enjoy!

[Globe and Mail]

02
Oct
09

That’s Not a Balk, This is a BALK

I keep meaning to post this but forgetting. In Monday’s Phillies/Astros game during the 6th inning, Yorman Bazardo balked, allowing Shane Victorino to score from third. Yorman was SHOCKED and so home plate umpire Tim Tschida demonstrated exactly what Bastardo did. For an older guy, Tschida has some serious moves. He should be on the MTV’s The Grind.

Vodpod videos no longer available.
Hey, remember the Grind? That show was awesome, especially the spring break ones and the one where they did it simultaneously in 4 countries. Ah, good times. How has MTV not brought that back yet?

[The Fightins]

01
Oct
09

Should the Mets Trade Jose Reyes?

JoseReyesLast night the Mets continued their efforts to completely demoralize their last remaining fans by closing out their season series with the Nationals, and of course, did so with another loss. After the game team officials confirmed that Jose Reyes’ injured hamstring had actually gotten WORSE and he suffered a tear that will probably require surgery.

So, here’s a crazy idea and I wonder who blinks first on this one. The San Francisco Giants are desperate for offense, and while they primarily need power bats, more than anything else they need OPS men. Besides Pablo Sandoval (.930) they don’t have a single regular player with an OPS above .743. Ignoring this season’s largely injured season, Jose Reyes OPS the last three full season years has put up an average OPS of .816, certainly not amazing, but better than anyone else on the Giants.

For a long time there have been rumors of a deal that makes too much sense for both teams, the Brewers trade Prince Fielder to the Giants for Matt Cain. That deal definitely works for both teams, but what if instead the Giants traded Cain to the Mets? Would the Giants or Mets hang up first? Reyes is signed to a much more affordable contract than Prince (whose agent is also Scott Boras) and for more years, he plays a premier position and is a dynamic lead-off man (presuming that he’s healthy.)

So, what do you think, am I crazy? Which team would be more scared/willing to make this deal? Chime in!

01
Oct
09

Holy Goddamn NOW I’m Ready for Hockey!

From the folks over at the University of Alaska-Fairbanks comes this video that the hockey team is supposed to come out to, I don’t know about you but I am PSYCHED up now! The UAF Nanooks better straight up DOMINATE the competition, look at how fearsome that polar bear is, he tears the ROOF OFF!

01
Oct
09

Completionist at End of Journey to See Every MLB Team Play

MJS salvo, nws, sears, 1-1 salvoJohn Salvo, 62, lives outside Milwaukee and has now seen 959 Major League games in 57 different stadiums. Among those games he’s seen 2 no-hitters, World Series games and a triple-play. He’ll also, after Friday’s Astros/Mets game at Citi Field, have seen every one of the possible 422 major league match-ups, home and away of teams in the same league.

“To say this is a compulsion would be accurate,” Salvo said. “I like to complete lists of things.”

I’ll say. He also has every ticket stub and every scorecard from this awesome journey. When not seeing live baseball, Salvo has other interests, for instance he has driven every mile on each Interstate highway that has two numbers, from I-10 to I-90 with everything in-between. The retired Racine School District payroll manager has also taken-off or landed in a plane in every state in the country and, being a bit of a history buff, he’s visited the 39 different Presidential burial sites.

Without the support of his wife of 41 years, Barb, Salvo probably would never have been able to do all the traveling and accomplishments.

“I’m happy for him,” she said, “He’s worked hard at it.”

At one point on his journey Salvo became slightly discouraged, in 2001 while taking in an Astros game in Houston he started questioning whether it was worth continuing, “I was getting a little tired of it,” he said, “But then I met Jim. That helped.”

Jim is Jim Waddell, a retired railroad worker who was trying to accomplish the same thing as Salvo. In a bit of cosmic magic, Waddell was seated directly in front of Salvo at the game. Overhearing Waddell talking about what he was trying, the two started talking and are now fast friends and have taken in over 70 games together. Waddell finally completed his goal last year after beginning in 1951.

After tomorrow night’s game one goal will be completed for Salvo, but he doesn’t plan on stopping. Baseball continues on after all; plus there’s all the interleague match-ups, and he’s only seen 53 of those.

[Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel]

01
Oct
09

Show Me the Person Who Doesn’t Like VD

When he was drafted as the 6th overall pick in the 2006 draft, Vernon Davis was supposed to explode onto the scene as a tight end sensation. Without first-round pick Michael Crabtree on the roster it’s up to Davis to pick up the slack. It’s taken some time, but after his stellar 7 receptions, 2 TD and 96-yard performance last Sunday (on my BENCH!) he may just be on the verge of super-stardom. These T-shirts are already superstars; whether you’re in San Francisco or anywhere else, letting everyone know your a fan of VD is always a good introduction.

VernonDavisShirt[Zazzle]

01
Oct
09

Only the Strong Yankees Fans Can Survive

If a Yankee fan hits another Yankee fan is there any crime? I say no. Let the animals tear themselves apart.

Or in this case, two toddlers go at it with foam fingers. Same difference.

[NYC Barstool Sports]

01
Oct
09

Are You Ready For Some Hockey?

Tonight marks the start of the 2009-10 NHL season, not that you’d know it by the lack of coverage everywhere. To celebrate, here are some lovely photos of some of the lovely ladies who work as Ice Girls around the league. Hey, that ice isn’t going to maintain itself!

Check out the full gallery here.

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[WFAN]




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