I wasn’t even aware that such a thing as anvil shooting existed, let alone that someone as awesome as Gay Wilkinson was the world champion. The sport consists, simply enough, of loading some black powder into an anvil, putting another on top and then lighting the fucker and letting the top anvil fly into the air. Gay says that he gets confused queries from women such as “why would you do this?” while men understand and just want to see it get launched. I know you don’t care about anything else I’ll say, here’s the video!
I’d like to be a Cirque du Soleil performer, sure I don’t have anything like the agility, body-control or skills needed to do so, but so what. Here is a rehearsal video from the Cirque’s Dralion show featuring Oli Lemieux and some kick-ass moves on the trampoline.
Sunday’s Des Moines Marathon was going to plan, the leaders were headed to the finish line, they could see it only 400 meters away but they were stopped in their progress. Despite letting the Iowa Interstate Railroad (IIR) authorities know that the race would be crossing the tracks and arranging for no trains to come through, a long freight train was going through no matter what.
“It’s one of those things, when I heard through our communications — what can you do at that time?” Race Director Chris Burch asked.
The eventual winner, Kenyan Simon Sawe said he was shocked to see the freight train, “Nobody is prepared for that scenario,” Sawe told The Des Moines Register. “I couldn’t believe it. It was a long train.”
Because he was forced to wait, Sawe’s lead dwindled and fellow Kenyan David Tuwei was about to catch up. Once the train cleared the two men sprinted to the finish line, with Sawe winning by about 5 seconds. Can you imagine how furious Sawe would (justifiably) have been had he lost the race because of the train?
Mick Burkhart, Iowa Interstate Railroad vice president, apologized via e-mail. He said the railroad was aware of the race and had agreed not to operate in the area during the marathon.
“Due to some miscommunication, a train was allowed into the race area before it was supposed to,” Mick Burkhart of the IIR said. “There is no excuse for this happening.”
22-year-old German Matthas Schlitte has been arm-wrestling competitively since he was 16 and it only takes one look at him to see that he has dedicated himself to being a top arm-wrestler. That’s because Schlitte’s right forearm is MASSIVE, measuring 18 inches, which is a huge contrast to his left arm, which looks puny and tiny in comparison.
Schlitte’s giant right-arm has been successful leading him to first place finishes in several competitions including the Iron Curtain Armwars in Blackburn and the German Championships in Haltern.
Hmm…started at 16, one forearm DRASTICALLY is bigger than the other, what would a 16-year-old be doing so much that he would increase the muscle mass in just his right arm so much…hmm…there has to be something else besides arm-wrestling that led to this girth.
Oh, wait! I got it! Masturbation! Well-played Matthas, I get it, you didn’t want everyone to know how much you were jerking it so you went all out and happened to be good at arm-wrestling too. Hey, it’s not your fault buddy, you were 16 and feeling as these new and exciting feelings, plus that gust of wind hit you in just the right way and you couldn’t help but abuse yourself. Well, at least you’re putting your special purpose to good use. And they say masturbation won’t get you anywhere…
Sydney Australia was recently invaded by 28,292 athletes ranging in age from 24-101 to participate in the world’s largest multi-sport event, the World Masters Games. Among the storied competition comes the tale of Ruth Firth, a 100-year-old great-grandmother who took home the gold in shot-putting with the leading toss in her age group.
Her throw went nearly 14 feet making her far and away the leader in the 100-104 age bracket; although to be fair, she was the only competitor. “I only had to turn up to win the medal, but that wasn’t going to be good enough for me,” said Firth. “I had to show everyone that I could still do it.”
When a Games official suggested to Firth that her success called for a drink, she replied that she doesn’t smoke or drink, but don’t think she’s some health nut, when asked if it were vegetables that powered her success she responded “Oh goodness no – I haven’t eaten vegetables since I was a kid. I don’t like the taste. Bread, meat, fine, but no vegetables, thank you.” She does however walk every day as well as bench-pressing 80 lbs 5-times a week. Feel lazy yet?
One of the other highlights at the World Masters Games was 90-year-old Olga Kotelka to set a new world-record in shot-put for her age group. Another memorable moment came from the barefooted Australian runner in the men’s age 80-84 100 meter race who goes by the name Santa Claus; Osmo Millridge, another barefooted Australian took charge of the age 70+ men’s steeplechase.
There was no word on the condom consumption in the athlete’s village…
Pole dancing is a sport, or so say the women who do it, there’s even a movement to make it an Olympic sport, unlike your normal trip to the local strip club on a Wednesday afternoon — I know, you go just for the lunch buffet — the competitions for pole dancing are serious and don’t involve stripping.
This competition in Moscow doesn’t feature any stripping but it does feature the worst thing that can happen to a pole dancer. Well, besides Dennis Rodman coming into the strip club…
If you think I’m not going to post a 97-foot pumpkin cannon that can launch a bowling ball-sized pumpkin (or a bowling ball) over a mile than this must be your first day on my blog.
The cannon, built by farmer John Gill and Gary Arold in Ulster County, NY shoots its payload out at 600+ miles per hour and, tilted at 45 degrees, shoots 3,500 feet in the air. The friends built the cannon in 2006 after seeing another, smaller one and deciding they could top it.
97-foot-long barrel that shoots gourds roughly 4,000 feet, at a speed of 600 miles per hour. Tilted at a 45-degree angle, the cannon shoots about 3,500 feet high. Gill, a corn and vegetable farmer, and his construction buddy Gary Arold, built the pumpkin cannon in 2006 after they saw a friend’s smaller model.
The items shot out the cannon include pumpkins, scuba tanks, a basketball filled with corn and foam installation and of course, the bowling ball.
“The first time we shot a bowling ball, that’s was probably the worst thing we ever did,” Arold says. “It kept going and going and going.”
Calling itself one of the most dangerous races in the world, a mere 136 competitors have signed up for the Jungle Marathon 2009 race. The seven-day 222km marathon makes its way through the Amazon rainforest near Para, Brazil. The runners will face intense heat and humidity as well as poisonous snakes, tarantulas, jaguars and many other dangers.
Dave Cowan, a Scot grocery store manager and father-of-one is one of the participants, kilt and all, hoping to raise £2000 for the children’s hospice charity CHAS.
He said, “I’ve put in hours and hours of training and I’ve been so focused on this for so long I need it to be done now.
“I’m like a coiled spring ready to be let go.
“When I watched the marathon on television I saw people having to be fitted with drips and be carried away.
“That’s what pushed me to see where my limit is.
Like the other participants, Cowan will carry all his food and equipment with him through the course in a backpack weighing nearly 30 pounds through a place where at night it “cools” down to a balmy 80 degrees.
For the longest time I didn’t know that netball was a sport, I thought it was just a weird New Zealand and Australian way of saying volleyball, I was wrong, it’s a real sport! One I find bizarre and don’t totally get, but still, a sport.
While attending the Sydney World Masters Games tournament in western Australia, the women’s netball team out of Greymouth, New Zealand were forced to change their name by tournament officials who were concerned about a “possible double-meaning.”
The Master Baiters whose name refers solely to the practice of Whitebaiting — the act of catching White Bait, a herring-like fish instead were forced to change their name to the Master Netters.
Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. I can’t believe the organizers thought that the Master Baiters had some double-entendre, can’t some women refer to catching fish without getting accused of having sex on their brains! It’s just WRONG!
Jemal Tkeshelashvili is an 18-year-old Georgian judo champion but he has other talents too, like bursting hot water bottles using only his nose.
“My first and childhood dream is to become an Olympic champion [in judo], and I am sure I will do it for Georgia,” he says. In the meantime, he’s dominating these hot water bottles.
Ever the showman, Jemal also likes to give himself a degree of difficulty by bursting a hot wattle bottle while a man sits on it. Ta-da!
The official record for this is currently held by American Brian Jackson (USA! USA!) who did it in 50.8 seconds, Tkeshelashvili’s times are yet to be certified.
Sometimes you’re just especially unlucky when trying to attack strangers on the street. Dean Gardner, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, two local toughs in Swansea, Wales saw two men walking in front of them in ladies clothes and figured them as easy marks. So they brazenly walk up to them, and the bare-chested Gardner starts throwing punches.
That’s when Gardner and Fender’s luck went to shit, the two men they attacked are trained cage-fighters. Immediately after Gardner tried to attack them, one of the men, dressed in a smashing short black dress, stockings and suspenders and on his way to a party comes up and knocks both Gardner and Fender out with one punch each.
The two thugs try to scurry away, but all concussed they find it a struggle to walk and ended up being caught by police shortly thereafter as they tried to recover from their wounds. The cage-fighters then pick their purses back up off the ground and go on their way.
Because it was in the UK, there was CCTV footage of the incident available , so you can appreciate the idiocy of these two guys firsthand. Both attackers were quite drunk, and had only a few minutes before attacked a man dressed in a Spiderman outfit.
Mark Davies, who is defending these two idiots in court told the judge, “Unfortunately they were extremely drunk, and you know it cannot have been a good night when you get into a fight with Spiderman and two cross-dressing men.” A bit of an understatement but, yeah, very true.
They were both sentenced to 4-months community service and must wear an electronic tracker as well as pay the prosecution costs.
At the age of 50, Jerry Johncock began running, in the 31 years since he has competed in more than 400 races, from 5Ks to 50ks and over 100 marathons; last year in the Twin Cities Marathon he set the US marathon record for men ages 80-84. This year during the same marathon he arrived at mile 21 with a problem.
Johncock desperately needed to urinate but he wasn’t able to get anything out. Having had a similar issue in the past, he recognized it as being caused by a blood clot in his urethra. Race officials at the aid station didn’t have anything to help him and were recommending he go to the hospital. However, since he started racing Johncock has never dropped out of a race.
“I wanted to finish. I didn’t want to go to the hospital.” He explained afterwards. An onlooker in the crowd heard about the issue and volunteered that he just happened to have a spare catheter in his car.
“I said, ‘Oh, you saved my life. And you saved my marathon.'” Then, in a feat much more impressive than his racing records, Johncock inserted the catheter into his own john-cock, “What a relief that was. I must have had a pint of urine inside me,” he said.
Finally relieved, Johncock got back onto the course and finished the marathon with a time of 5:22:17. While he was well off his record pace of 3:59:12 from last year he still placed first in his age group.
I feel lazy and inept compared to this upstanding gentleman. I think if someone told me I had to insert a catheter into myself I would probably just pass out. And to finish the race! Wow! I’m also very intrigued by this by-stander who just drives around with plenty of spare catheters hanging out in his car; who is this person and WHY is he always putting tubes into his pee-hole?
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