Sports reporters often ask stupid question to coaches, fortunately Celtic manager Gordon Strachan has a bit of wit about him and is able to make some fun out of their asinine questions. Check out some of these one-liners that The Sun assembled for us:
Reporter: “Gordon, can we have a quick word please?”
Strachan: “Velocity.”
Reporter: “Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?”
Strachan: “No, I’m going to crumble like a wreck. I’ll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.”
Reporter: “There’s no negative vibes or negative feelings here?”
Strachan: “Apart from yourself, we’re all quite positive round here. I’m going to whack you over the head with a big stick — down, negative man, down.”
Reporter: “Gordon, do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?”
Strachan: “I don’t care, I’m Scottish.”
Reporter: “Gordon, if you were English?”
Strachan: “I’d top myself.”
Strachan after a defeat: “I tried to get the disappointment out of my system by going for a walk.
“I ended up 17 miles from home and I had to phone my wife Lesley to come and pick me up.”
Reporter: “Welcome to Southampton. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?”
Strachan: “No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, ‘No, I think they should have got George Graham because I’m useless.’ ”
Strachan on Wayne Rooney: “It’s an incredible rise to stardom.
“At 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.”
Reporter: “You must be delighted with the result?”
Strachan: “You’re spot on! You can read me like a book.”
Reporter: “So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?”
Strachan: “What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.”
The Slanch Report 
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