Posts Tagged ‘Soccer


The Filthiest Thing I’ve Seen

Some folks in Scotland have turned the “beautiful game” into the dirtiest, wildest affair possible. I’d expect nothing less from men who wear skirts. This is the perfect combination of sport: mud wrestling and balls. It nearly brings a tear to my eyes…

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Actually, this looks like an incredibly fun time, albeit very very dirty. But hey, so you get your balls messy and then you wash ’em, t’ain’t nothing wrong with that!


The Dutch Get Ovened

I don’t know when this blog became a soccer blog but there are simply too many hilarious stories coming out of the beautiful game recently. For instance, take this video of the Dutch team playing Romania during the Euro Cup. Something stinks on the bench and it seems to be most likely caused by Rafael van der Vaart, (pronounced Van der Fart.) Is it still called a Dutch oven if it’s done by a Dutchman? Or is it just an oven?

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Beckham Strokes Ball, Scores Big Time

So David Beckham’s US soccer career has not gone as swimmingly as he (or MLS and the LA Galaxy) had hoped, there was the ankle injury that made him miss much of last season and so far this year he has been decent but not excellent. However, for one moment in last night’s game against the KC Wizards, Beckham showed some of the deft touch that made him such a worldwide phenomenon when he lifted a ball 70 yards and over the goalkeepers head for a goal.

Awesome! It turns out that this isn’t the first time he’s done this in high-level game, he apparently did it as well when he was a fresh faced teenager for Manchester United too.


A very grateful h/t to Unprofessional Foul


One More Reason for Soccer’s Popularity

Brazil is known for her citizens’ excellence on the soccer pitch and for an equal excellence in attractiveness. Case in point, Laisa Andrioli, a 20 year old who plays for the national team and is evidently attracting lots of attention for her moves on and off the field. As someone who played varsity soccer (one year) in high school, I am quite the expert in hot soccer ladies and I feel qualified to say I’m starting to warm up to Laisa. For example:

All right, now I’m intrigued… What else do you have for me, Ms. Andrioli?


Brazil has got to have the hottest population in the world right? I mean, everyone I ever see from there is just incredibly good-looking. The only thing that doesn’t make sense is that I’m NOT from there, after all, I’m right there on the attractive scale…

Well then. I’m definitely in love. Looks like ethanol shouldn’t be the biggest export coming out of Brazil anymore. Now we’re starting to get into some risqué territory, I like where this is heading…Then I find out that Laisa has just posed nude for Sexy Magazine, so I guess you know what happens now…

Stick around after the jump for some very NSFW photos, unless you happen to be working at Smut Magazine.

h/t to Fleshbot

Continue reading ‘One More Reason for Soccer’s Popularity’


Ronaldo Kicks some Extra Balls Around

Brazilian soccer superstar Ronaldo was for a time, the greatest soccer player in the world, earning player of the year honors three times, tied for the most ever. He was married to Milene Domingues for several years, she’s a model and considered one of the best female soccer players in the world. Seems like a good choice. Then he started dating MTV VJ Daniela Cicarelli, she’s super hot, but it didn’t last. Consoling himself somehow, Ronaldo began to date Brazilian supermodel Raica Oliviera, professional smokeshow. Well done. These are women a man could be proud of, it seems though, that the AC Milan star has fallen on harder times.

While rehabbing from an injury in Brazil, Ronaldo went out the other night, as any man is wont to do and decided he wanted a little female companionship. Understandable, he’s a man with needs, and an incredibly well-known and respected person in his own country and so, seemingly should be a piece of cake to pick up a woman. Opting for some discretion, Ronaldo and his voracious sexual appetite picked up three prostitutes for a hot 4-way at a nearby motel; in Brazil, where prostitution is legal and sexuality is celebrated, this is nothing out of the ordinary.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your mindset, Ronaldo found that his prostitutes were more than meets the eye. It seems that the shes were really hes and packing some different equipment than the footballer was expecting.

Like a gentleman, Ronaldo offered the three transvestites about $600 to keep it quiet and for their time, two of them agreed immediately but one saw it as an opportunity. Instead, Andreia Albertini, transvestite hooker, decided to try and extort Ronaldo to the tune of $30,000 to keep the whole story quiet or else he’d post a video on the internet.

According to the police inspector on the case, Carlos Augusto Nogueira “Ronaldo had not committed any crimes by contracting the men, but he is looking into other claims [that Ronaldo threatened the she-men].

‘He just wanted to have fun and meet some other people outside his usual environment,’ Nogueira said. ‘There is no crime at all.’ He added: ‘[Ronaldo] is quite shocked. He said he just wanted to have some fun and for the press not to be informed about this. Ronaldo told me he is suffering some psychological problems as a result of his injury.”

Sounds like mission accomplished, after all, he did meet some new people! As for the press not finding out well…

It looks like Ronaldo needs to get back onto the field ASAP because when he’s playing and with a hot woman he’s an unstoppable force, when he isn’t he’s just another john picking up transvestites. Someone get this man a supermodel, STAT!


I Can Do Tricks With My Balls Too…

Check out these ridiculous moves done by some kids in Mexico, even if you don’t like soccer, they’re pretty amazing.

How much do you have to trust your friend to do that kick off the head that is 45 seconds in?

You should see me with a Ping-Pong Paddle, I can totally bounce it for like 80 times in a row, so that’s similar…

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January 2020
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