The Slanch Report

This has been making the rounds today, and rightly so, because it is freaking awesome. I hope the Super Bowl festivities I attend at LEAST have something this extravagant. However, I feel confident that just looking at this gives you diabetes.

I just hope the security people are paying attention, those Cheeto’s in the end zone look like they might start getting out of hand. And in case you were thinking of making this yourself, here’s the full list of ingredients:

Ingredients:

The Field:

1 Pound of Guacamole

15 Oz. Queso Dip For The Steelers End Zone

15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone

2 Oz. Sour Cream for the Field Lines

The Players:

15 Vienna Sausages

Helmets – 3 Oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese

The Goal Posts:

1 Slim Jim for Each Goal Post

1 Oz. Monterey Jack Cheddar To Anchor (each)

The Stands:

58 Twinkies

1 Pound of Bacon

1 Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos

1 Bag of Cheetos

1 Bag of Corn Tortilla Chips

1 Bag of Chex Mix

The Blimp:

20 Oz. Football-Shaped Summer Sausage (optional) (on second thought, no, this isn’t optional. Go buy one.)

TOTAL CALORIES: 24,375

TOTAL GRAMS OF FAT: 1,285

TOTAL COST: $86.47