The Slanch Report

Tonight’s starter for the Angels, Ervin Santana, a man who helped destroy my fantasy season last year came on this year remarkably well, pitching extremely efficiently and getting 214 strikeouts. Interestingly, according to his wikipedia page, Santana’s real name is actually Johan. He’s really Johan Santana! Before 2003 Santana went by Johan but when the real Johan became so successful, the Angel’s Johan decided to change his name so there wouldn’t be any confusion. According to Santana he decided it thusly, “I just came up with Ervin…Ervin Santana, that sounds good.” Sounds scientific! Born Johan Ramon Santana, appparently Ervin didn’t like the sound of Ramon Santana and arbitrarily opted for Ervin. Here’s my question, how is THAT the name that you choose for your 21 year old self? Was he a big Magic Johnson fan? If I could rename myself at age 21 it certainly would not have been with a name like Ervin, I think I might go by Snake Oil. Or maybe Lion-O. Both would be more bad-ass choices than Ervin. That simply baffles me.

So, readers, what names would you choose?