At Saturday’s running of the Kentucky Derby the only filly in the race, Eight Belles valiantly raced to second place, but her near-victory was short-lived as in the process she broke both her front ankles and it became necessary to euthanize her on the track immediately. For those of you wondering why it was necessary [...]

Jose Canseco is a douche, we’ve established this, it seems though, that his bad luck continues to follow him. First he gets blackballed by baseball because he can’t hit a fastball or a breaking ball anymore and can’t play in the field, the NERVE! Now, in an attempt to qualify for US Weekly’s “Stars They’re [...]

The United States Navy has a long history of proud service, from its earliest beginnings through today the men in white have served with distinction and valor and done their nation proud. With recruitment numbers down across the board for the military thanks to the never-ending warmongering in Washington, the various armed forces have been [...]

Now I get that as a player agent, one’s responsibilities includes putting the best possible story forward about their client, but sometimes it just gets ridiculous. For example, Carl Pavano, owner of a 4 year 39.5 million dollar contract, and possessor of a 5-6 record in only 19 games played–for those of you counting that’s [...]

The Boston Bruins used to be a proud and respected franchise. They went to the playoffs every season for over 20 years at one point, but these days find it impossible to get out of the first round, if they are even able to qualify. Right now the Bruins are fighting for their lives against [...]

Al Reyes, the Beelzebub Rays closer last year, went out last night to celebrate his 38th birthday. Showing how baseball players are just like us, he entertained himself at a local bar and had a few drinks in his own honor. Then, as anyone is wont to do, he got into a fight, broke a [...]

Penn State basketball player Stanley Pringle who thought masturbating in the library would bring him the ladies is denying that that is what he was doing.
Pringle explained simply that he has “a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants. Why would I need to masturbate? This is how I chill, ma’am.”
Among his other [...]

So, perusing the options available for MLB’s Extra Innings TV package, I saw that providers like Time Warner are offering at least one HD option in addition to the standard channels so that it is possible to really enjoy the games in STUNNING HD. Unfortunately, where The Slanch Report is based in Brooklyn we are [...]

“I just think Noah Baumbach’s work isn’t being appreciated enough”
Penn State basketball player Stanley Pringle decided to chip out his place in college basketball lore by using the stacks in the library for more than just browsing. Pulling out his classic cylindrical tube while trying to start a conversation with a woman was apparently not [...]

When his first book Juiced, came out, Jose Canseco was ultimately proved to have spoken the truth. When he named names they checked out as steroid users (including an off-hand mention of some 7 time Cy Young winner who is a fat greedy man.)
Now, Jose, desperate and with an ax to grind against MLB Jose [...]