The Lamar Hunt AFC trophy and the George Halas NFC trophy are receiving a complete makeover by the NFL, turning them into mini-Lombardi trophies starting next season. The intention is to make a cohesive trophy line, because THAT'S the biggest issue facing the NFL currently, that the various trophies didn't all match up. 

When you're as woeful as the New Jersey Nets and own a 6-53 record, you're usually last in attendance too. In order to sucker people into coming to see their games, the Nets are forced into strange promotions.

Whether it is offering the chance to be coach for a day, or buying a ticket package that nets you a Nets and OTHER TEAM reversible jersey, the Nets are desperate to get asses into the seats. The latest promotion:

Friday, when the Nets play the Orlando Magic, New Jersey residents 18 or older who attend the game will get a coupon that they can redeem at a Roni Deutch Tax Center to get their state income tax done free.

Ultimately, it just means you're paying $29 to get your taxes done. That's not terrible, but if you sit through the game it probably won't be worth it. I say, go, get the coupon and bounce. 

And if you're wondering why anyone would want to associate their business with something as failing as the Nets, Roni Deutch has the answer for you. "The hallmark of a strong company is one that aligns with young companies. I'm a betting woman, and I think the Nets are going to win a championship this decade."

Yikes. Maybe you DON'T want your taxes done by someone clearly delusional...

[Ball Don't Lie]

I would imagine almost no one in America ever noticed this before, mainly because it is from the awfulness that is Yes, Dear, truly one of the worst sitcoms in television history. However, as this clip originally aired 11/2/05 shows, Anthony Clark and Mike O'Malley clearly knew all about Tiger's indiscretions. 

I can't believe this show had 6 seasons. 6! And yet Arrested Development got only 3?!? I hate television executives. 

[The Sports Guy]

Chinese basketball fans are very concerned about the travel plans of their star center, Yao Ming. After the injured Yao returned to the US with his pregnant wife, the fans are worried that might signal that the Mings are intending to have the child, due this SUMMER, be born in the US.

The fans have claimed that this would be a major betrayal of China. Considering Ye Li, Yao's wife stands 6'2" and Yao is of course 7'6", that could mean a potentially tall future basketball player could be denied to China. And we all know how China likes being denied.

Part of the issue is that, even if the child was born in the US, it could have dual citizenship thanks to both parents being Chinese nationals, but China, who believes in only one China, also believes only in one citizenship.

I can't imagine why Yao wouldn't want to have his child in China, after all, they're known for their dedication and special care for infants...

[KENS 5]

One of the advantages of the Olympics over all other sporting leagues is that the drug-testing is among the strictest and that means that, generally, you can look at the athletes and their feats as clean. Steroids have marred an entire era of baseball and, while unmentioned, are still a major issue in football. 

To help combat steroid use, the US Olympic Committee and the Ad Council are joining forces to promote the damage that steroids do to one's body and life. Now here's a cause I can get behind!

"We know athletes and individuals who choose to engage in the destructive behavior of illegal steroid use live in fear of being found out,” USOC Chief Executive Officer Jim Scherr said in a press release. “This initiative is geared to show teens and other age groups that illegal steroid use can only lead to a harmful and embarrassing end. Additionally, teens need to fully understand the dangerous health risks associated with steroids and other performance-enhancing substances."

So, knuckleheads, here's the contest: comb through the archives of the Slanch Report using the SEARCH box on the side and the first person to find the funniest and most bizarre story about obvious steroid use that I've posted wins a special prize, courtesy of the US Olympic men's basketball team! To win, find the funniest story, then, post the link in the comments below and hey, why not, add a joke! Winner takes all!

One clue: JCVD.

Have at it!

And for more information about this campaign and about the anti-steroid efforts, make sure to visit www.DontBeAnAsterisk.com or join their Facebook group to show your support. 

Your help is needed today!

[12 Angry Mascots]

Eri Yoshida is an 18-year old knuckleball pitcher from Japan who has long admired Boston's Tim Wakefield. The first woman to ever be drafted for a Japanese league, Yoshida made her way to Field 5 in Fort Myers to spend a little quality time with her idol. Wearing a Wakefield jersey, she watched him throw his bullpen session, along with fellow countryman Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Yoshida has been playing for the Yuma Scorpions in the Arizona Winter League where she's had moderate success. "I think everything that he taught me is going to give me a chance to really work on what I need to work on," she said, "but also, I got a chance to meet him, and it really gave me some courage and the confidence I need to really get back to training hard."

Yoshida wasn't the only one who was impacted by the meeting, Wakefield was touched by her desire to come meet him.

"It's an honor to have somebody carry on a knuckleball tradition, and somebody that's doing it because she likes what I do," Wakefield said. "It's pretty cool to have someone come over to the States from Japan. I heard about her last year. I know she's pitching in independent leagues now. But for her to come all the way to Fort Myers and watch me throw, it was an honor for me to just talk to her and give her some tips."

Before their time together ended, Yoshida had a special message for Wakefield, "... that my dream is to become a pitcher like him, and I was able to tell him that in English directly," said Yoshida.

[MLB]

Hey, it's a Tuesday, life is slow, how about a video of dogs snowboarding to make it go by faster? I thought so. Does Papa Slanch know what you need? Yes! Is calling myself Papa Slanch weird? You betcha!

Blessed with incredible natural skill and burdened with a case of cell disorder channelopathy that sapped his muscles strength, it was almost impossible for Baldelli to ever reach his potential on the baseball diamond. When Lou Piniella broke camp with the Rays in 2003 he took Baldelli with him and the young New Englander, whom many compared in skill-set to Hall of Famer Joe DiMaggio, began his march on the record books.

Alas, the illness made it too difficult for Baldelli to handle the strain of playing every day or matching up to such a lofty comparison and while his instincts and reactions were strong, his body was failing him. Last year, coming to play for his home-town Red Sox as a part-time player, Rocco contributed when he could, but being unable to play back-to-back games made it difficult for him to ever really get into a groove.

Today the Tampa Bay Rays announced that they have hired Rocco Baldelli as a special assistant with the team. "Obviously we're thrilled to add Rocco and his experience and what he can bring to our young players," Rays vice president Andrew Friedman said. "We think he'll be a tremendous asset for us. And he looks better in blue."

Officially, Baldelli has NOT retired, and there is a chance he could come back either this year or next, possibly with the Rays, but currently, a shoulder injury makes it unlikely in the near future.

Regardless, I've always loved watching Baldelli play, he doesn't run, he GLIDES, and when he was going well, the ball would ROCKET off his bat. If this is the end for the 29-year-old, I wish him the best of luck and happiness.

[ESPN Boston]

As part of the NFL's scouting combine teams get interview sessions with the players, and for many teams it is a first chance to interact with one of their potential future employees. To that end, it's important to find out as much information from the player as possible, something that can be different since the players get coached on what to do and say by their agents.

I think it's fair to say though that no one prepared possible #1 overall pick Gerald McCoy for the question one NFL team asked him during his session.

"Someone asked me if I wore a g-string or a jock strap when I played," McCoy told the NFL Network.

I hope he answered honestly because as we all know, there is nothing more damaging to a rushing defensive end than his g-string not providing enough support.

[Pro Football Talk]